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Wednesday, April 09, 2008

What Gets My Goat

Control Freak, Perfectionist, Fault Finding...that I am. With time, I have learnt to let go, relax and let mess remain so.
I don't mind my house looking like this on most days unless there are visitors coming. This cannot be controlled with the kids turning my house upside down every moment...
But this can definitely be controlled...
But what really gets my goat ...
1. Dipping the index finger into the milk to check the temperature. Even if the hands are clean. One may say that we eat with the sam hands or feed the kids with the same hand but dipping the finger in the milk is neither visually appealing nor aesthetic.
Okay, how's this for an idea. Ask me for a glass of water. When I bring it, ask whether it is cold and I dip my finger into it to check and say yes. Will you drink it? PS- My hands were freshly washed with dettol. So hygeine is not a concern here.
2. Blowing into the milk to push the cream back before pouring it out. That too without brushing teeth in the morning. Is it so much of a trouble to use a spoon?
So I do the same thing with the tea or soup or any other hot thing before handing it out. What if some droplets of spit fall into it? I am clean and my mouth even if not brushed is clean.
3. Drinking straight from the bottle or the jug. Okay, okay everyone does it. Don't brush your lips against the bottle atleast.
4. Leaving the lights/ fan on in every room you peep into. Also the geyser. Hint Hint....think environment, think mounting electricity bills.
5. Finding a pair of slippers among the toys. What? it is not disgusting? With kids placing their hands on everything and then popping the same hands into the mouth?
Ok, next time anyone sits on the floor to eat, we will strategically place a pair of (clean) slippers right next to the plate. Goes well with the decoration, if not anything else.
6. Kids eating stuff out from the floor- Unavoidable, most of the time. But I do happen to own a broom in perfect working order.
7. Forcefeeding beyond a point. "Sheepishly owns up"- I am guilty of doing it sometimes. 8. Leaving dirty clothes all over the house especially the ones with piss in them. I happen to pay a hell lot of money to the maid just to keep those out of the way.
9. Watching calmly or ignoring when they are tearing off their books, even if they are cheap. It is hard earned money. I might be wrong but my opinion is that if we do not teach them now to treat things with care, we will never be able to teach them in future. It will become their way of life.
10. Leaving the sponge or scrubber in the sink among the dirty dishes.
How many of the above would you tolerate?
Which issue will be your battle?
You may win a battle but would you truly believe that you have won the war? There is absolutly no way you can confirm whether mandates are being followed. So what's the best way to deal with this problem?
Is let go the better policy? You know you cannot beat them so join them or remain a mute spectator.


Lavs said...

Just read Rohini’s post and your comment there. And now this photograph (first one). I guess I have to be prepared for all this mentally from now on!! And I simply cannot tolerate any of those points you had mentioned. May be a good showdown once in a while will assist:-0

Your force feeding point brings back a memory. It seems when I was 1-2 yrs old, I used to regularly vomit my food. My mom would patiently wipe my vomit, clean herself up and repeat the feedings only for me to vomit it out once again. Dad, it seems, used to tear his hair fighting with my mom asking her to stop this force feeding (No wonder he went bald in his 30s). Till date, when somebody vomits, my dad would regale everybody with this story!!!

Sue said...

That's why I stay at home as long as there is the maid...

I couldn't live with any of this, to tell you the truth.

Poor Itchy.

AA_Mom said...

I will add another one to this letting the kids eat from your plate or offer them water from your glass- I absolutely abhor it

All of these get my goat, when I am in the mood I clean it all up and patiently steer them away, other times I raise a stink and then feel very guilty/bad about it.

Kodi's Mom said...

I sympathize!
it is a trade off I think. if you want home based care, you learn to live with some points of contention, with others - you do them your way in front of the care provider hoping they'll pick up the hint and ones that you absolutely can't get your head around, say it out loud. of your list, most are stuff I couldn't live with - so I totally understand your position. *hugs*

GettingThereNow said...

I would put my foot down to 5, 6, 7 and 9. Most of all 7. Other points would drive me to insanity too, but these 4 are the ones I would make no compromise on. I could add to the list :D

**hugs** You are a saint to put up with all this.

Orchid said...

honestly...each battle won is like winning a war in itself...i would not take it!!
c'mon it's about the kids, hygiene and your sanity...and clearly being a mute spectator is not helping your cause do something!

Shobana said...

Nah! I don't think I will be able to tolerate any of these...also another thing: letting the kid run around with poop in the diaper, waiting for you to come home and change it...reason for not changing: it stinks. Really, the hubby did this once....and hasn't tried it again.

Itchingtowrite said...

lavs/ orchid- showdown only makes me feel better. i never gain anything out of it except resentment. somehow i am becoming tired of being hated for being so fussy
sue/ getting there now- thanks for understanding
aa-mom- i hate that too....somehow i hav learnt to ignore. as i said, i am tired of protesting. i had done a separate post on the feeding out of the plate thing
k's mom- u know i hav tried and tried with no results

shobana- i hate that too. but since we don't do diapers at home, its ok

Asha said...

I am with you.. I am with you.. on ALL that you mentioned. Thank God, I have a very neat house help. Else I would have decided to stay at home.

Itchingtowrite said...

asha- lucky!!am glad you agree and i am not the only odd mom out who dislikes these things

Kowsalya Subramanian said...

I never used to tolerate. When I am around I will do it and show them thats how its to be done. I could bring some sense in the maid but nothing could change my mother or in laws. I can atleast yell at my mom but inlaws ....

I totally understand you

Itchingtowrite said...

kowsalya- ditto

Rohini said...

Ooh, I got fidgety just reading your post and seeing those pictures. All you said pisses me off too except the finger in the milk one - how do you check the temperature?

Itchingtowrite said...

rohini- glad u agree. on the milk part- we cud use a spoon. some peopl put the back of the finger but in my place they put the index finger straight in- nails & all. and milk is not decanted and heated, the entire reserve of the milk is heated even if a small qty is needed. so ultimately the ntire milk has been fingered n number of times

GettingThereNow said...

Or you could take two drops with a spoon on to the inside of your wrist. That would tell you how warm the milk is.

Mama - Mia said...


i am borderline pig! so i really dunno what to say!! :(

apart from chappal bit and leaving pee clothes around, i pretty much dont care about the rest as long as its just us at home!!

i give kabir food from my plate! and he LOVES it! i dunno what the fuss is about! maybe i should read your post!

my only logic is, life today is very tough and you possibly cant over protect or mollycoddle your child by keeping him/her away from dirt, dust and food of every kind at paranoid levels!

but then again to each his own!! parenting is SUCH an intimate and personal experience!


kudos to you for bearing with it in any case!

Rohini said...

Ugh. That is gross. I usually dip a very clean finger tip (not the nail) to check temperature for the glass-worth of milk separately heated for A. Is that still disgusting? ;-)