Computerising Life

Today I decided to pick up my pen, that was threatening early retirement, and write down my thoughts instead of straight away tapping them on the pen's arch rival computer's buttons. When I was 15 minutes into this shubh kaam (auspicious work), boss called me to his room. I stood up, flexing my fingers that were as tired as they felt after I wrote my entire class ten English Literature exam which had generous helpings of Julius Caesar quote unquote doled out for the unfortunate teachers chosen to evaluate them. I stood there foolishly looking at the paper, my mind instinctively searching for something. A few years back I could have been looking for some form of paperweight. But no, I realised I was subconsciously looking for the Conrol-S button to save my work on the sheet of paper.

The other day we were frantically looking for the car keys which my terrible two had misplaced- the likely places toy drawer, puja, their potty, under the bed and even the music system and A/C louvers were duly searched with zero results. I desperately wished we had a search button, hell I was even willing to press 2 keys- Control- F to make my job easier. If I had to search for one more lost key or the silver spoon or my book, I will have to install a security camera in my house.

Some other keys that could make life simpler would be-
1. Change Case - suppose we want to yell at hubby or kids, you could just change case to caps and need not spend the energy on actually screaming
2. Auto complete- you have to spend time with that boring neighbour aunty or the I-am-here-to-teach-you-how-to-run-India-business colleague from overseas office, you need not expend energy talking. You could just say the first few letters of the intended word or sentence (may be I am asking for too much)and bingo, the entire words and sentences start flowing out beautifully in the receiver's ears.
3. Undo/ Delete/ Back- Most useful if you have goofed up or divulged a secret or eaten some tempting high calorie dessert (have the cake and then don't eat it too type of thing)
4. Redo- You have cooked something delicious by randomly mixing ingredients while bitching with your friend on the mobile and simultaneously talking in capitals to your kids/ husband/ maid (remember you don't shout if you have an option of changing case- you simply talk and the shouting is perceived) and now people want a repeat performance of the scrumplicious dish. You just press the redo button and voila.
5. Crop- You want to lose weight/ inches- you get the picture, right!
6. Move Here- You have a number 2- auto complete situation above and you feel too lazy even to exercise the auto complete option- Just move [that damn thing (person)] here ( specified location)
7. Fill Colour- You bought this dress and the colour looks awful on you. You could use the tab that looks like- "bucket pouring colour"
8. Home- save fuel- just press the home button or if you are lost you need not do the elimination round of- who-is-the-most-likely-guy-to-tell-me-the-correct-way-and-who-is-the-least-pervert-looking-one-to-risk-talking-to and ask for directions
9. Control- most useful and all encompassing. Apart from the obvious benefits, one can even use it in situations which demand an obligatory visit to the yucky toilet in the shopping mall/ train