The Kipling Cafe for a Date

Last weekend, the kids had to go to a birthday party. And we decided that we could use this as an opportunity and go on a date, leaving the kids behind to rock the party. A first for the kids- readily agreeing to be left behind, perhaps because this was their classmate's birthday party and they didn't need me to sit around.

We went to Kipling Cafe situated on ECR. A nice place tucked in between the bunglows right at the end of a road. Blink and you miss it. No boards, no signs. Thsi place serves continental and Thai and is ideal for a quiet lunch or a small dinner party.
Varied Seating arrangements all over the place

Huts for private seating ...

Rustic chairs in the lawn..

Outdoor hut has its own pankha on the thatched ceiling

Wheel Barrow for the rustic look

Wooden salt -pepper shakers

Boneless chiken cooked in Thai style with rice. Was enough for 2 having eaten a nice serving of calorific kalamari and fried onion rings

Pizza Hut

The least few occassions we have gone to various birthday parties at different locations. Hansel and Gretel being one of them where the kids had a great time being all over the place.

While this is all very good and convenient- I have always liked to do it at home, organise all the games myself and look at various return gifts, various food options.

Until the other day when, we were off to a Pizza Hut Birthday party.

So said Tejas- everyone has a birthday party where we go somewhere, play and eat.

Me- Do you like that? do you want to have your birthday in those places or at home?

Tejas- just shrugged his shoulders and said I don't know.

Another day and we were invited to Ojas' classmate's birthday party at Pizza Hut again.

A milestone indeed. My first rider given to the Mom was that I have twins and perhaps they are not yet ready to go separate ways and that both of them would not like to be going/ left alone.

The excitement was on the entire week with the two brothers- Ojas had got the invite which had Ben 10 theme all over the place. And since they had already attended another Pizza Hut party, they knew what to expect or hope- a Ben 10 bottle/ pencil box etc

What I found the most reassuring with this party was that the crowd was familiar for the kids. I saw them participating in musical chairs- a first - because the two of them never ever participate.

They sat with their classmates and pretty much took care of themselves without me standing over their heads shoving food into their mouths.

Now that sets me thinking. Should the next birthday party be with their school crowd?

And I simultaneously die thinking of the crowd for 2 classes at one go apart from the building crowd.

Milestones- Father Mother Baby

It is amazing how Mother Father Baby games start on its own- like a milestone.
Pay attention to a bunch of kids playing in the room and you will hear snatches of conversation
Mother, I am hungry
Mother I am going to school
And more often than not, the one who is the Father, is not playing with the other kids inside the room- he is (tri)cycling outside the confines - like in the living room, or if the "house" is a secluded corner of the building complex then the father will be cycling in the open portion of the complex.
So they pick it up early in life that mothers feed when you are hungry and the father is always outside- in office or somewhere else but not with the kids or the mother!

Abhi se?

-Google karna shuru? That too on my phone?
-Taking random pictures from my phone? I hope they are not posting them on FB or Blogs
- Telling us to take them to a restaurant.
- Fighting with the Dad for the remote.
-Pouring out a glass of soda for themselves?
- Helping me bake a cake?
- Going off to friends' home without telling me?

Arre baba, abhi time hai. Do not grow up so fast.

Milestones

So Tejas can read with the book held upside down and Ojas can effortlessly write Mirror Language.
The two can manage their guests on their own- which includes bringing out bowls and serving snacks to their friends afer a decent interval of the visit has passed -on their own accord mind it- no prompting from me- rather this prompts me into action when I forget my manners when guests are at home.

Apart from that, they entertain well too- put on the cartoon, bring out books/ toys/ sketch pen(aargh) & paper for the friends to write.

Then why am I still washing their bum?

Golu This Year

Has been a different experience in many ways
- the kids have actually sung songs in various homes in front of the golu without much pestering.
- they have, with full expectation asked the hosts- what is the gift you are giving me- even mentioning that - I want paint.
- they have gently played with the decor without scattering them or attempting to damage them unlike the previous years

A few days short of the Big 5, I am marvelling at how things have changed in a matter of the last few months- a growth spurt taking place in front of my very own eyes.

They can do a number of things on their own without my over supervision.
I wouldn't have ever imagined that I would let them play unsupervised in the complex- albeit for short periods, with me rushing out every 15-20 minutes to check on them.
Or that they would set the bed for us neatly, refusing help because- that would be a "gift" for us

Even though they cannot wash their backside yet- which is totally my fault - my cleanliness OCD is holding me back, they can take a neat bath on their own and emerge from their room fully dressed as if it is the most natural thing to do for them! Where are those naked babies running all over the place demanding to be dressed?

They do not wet the bed any more. Touch Wood. But I am still protecting the bed with the rubber sheet because I haven't yet seen them wake up in the middle of the night and use the bathroom. The day that happens, the rubber sheet can safely go out of the window. Or do I dare to remove it now itself?

They keep each other busy, chattering non stop, doing activity books/ painting together and at the same time have separate set of friends in the complex- at one time I was lamenting that they do not make friends and now I am worried why they go separate ways thereby setting me on the run everytime I come out of the house to look for them because invariably they are in opposite corners of the building.

The boys are growing up aren't they? The maintenance factor has come down despite my misgivings.

Wise Cracks

Dadda- Whom do you like like, Mamma or Dadda?
Ojas- I look like Ojas

Mamma-while sleeping- Tell me what does Mamma do for you?
Tejas- Mamma makes me ready in the morning, takes me to school, reads for me, and fixes the curtain for me
Mamma takes the hint and gets up to "fix" the curtain so that the annoying stream of light coming from the window does not hit on Tejas' face

Who lives in XYZ apartments?

Tejas- Watchman

And meanwhile I have a news to share-

the sons are reading while on the potty- one supplies one by one and the other reads upto 10 books in a single visit.

The Art of Discipline

A weekend ago, I met a certain well behaved and organised little girl and was extremely ashamed at my disciplining skills.
So I have, very seriously and actively decided to get on their case and make them put their toys away just like they do it so efficiently at schol (as the teachers tell me).
So even though I have to scream my lungs out for nearly 45 minutes every evening and much to the chagrin of Ojas & Tejas, do atleast 5-6 rounds of flinging some toys into the balcony (and it feels damn liberating to do that), in the end, it is worth the effort and deeply satisfying to see them putting their toys away in the relevant boxes and bags.
And so now every morning, the home is not looking like as if a bulldozer had somehow found its way inside.
They are also being trained to put their clothes into the washing machine and NOT leave them around all over the house, so that in future, their wives do not complain that their mother never taught them to even put their chuds away.
I am certainly NOT putting their nightdresses now. The faster they learn to do their jobs themselves, the easier on me. The next step would be the school dress. Which means I need to give them minimum 15 extra minutes - which would be the total time taken for cajoling, screaming, scolding, praising, and they actually dressing themselves up!

And now I am actively convincing my Mom to come down and teach them to wash their bum! I can do only so much of screaming.

Another Milestone Crossed

Learned to look through the keyhole.... check

Music for the Sleepyheads

Isn't it a little too profound for Ojas & Tejas to like to listen to songs from Life in a Metro every night at bedtime?
And even more profound when they sing together...baatein kuch ankahi see ....my moment of pride...*kala tikka*
(I know I know I am responsible as these were the only songs pre-loaded on my mobile.) Apart from these,
they love to laugh together with Masakalli
They believe that Baby I love you is sung especially for them
And Marjaani is the current favourite dance number
And off course pride comes before a fall when they are singing with great gusto a certain song that talks of what games one can play when the Dad & Mom are not at home!
And when they say- Mamma tum nahi sing karo (mamma you don't sing) when I try to sing along with the songs!

Is This a Milestone?

Of the Bloggy variety, when your husband calls you by your blog name- Mamma of Twins?

Rock On...

I can say the movie rocks, the guys were hot, uber kewl, the music or rather the frenzy or the idea of being in a "rock show" had me tapping my foot and swaying my shoulders and urging me to take the next step- get up and dance.
But no, it is not about the movie. It is about what I could identify with. A slice of my life, your life, our lives that I could see. A pattern I am getting resigned to.
Boy loves girl. Girl loves boy. Both get married. Then get on with the business of living.
Is that all to it?
We postpone our simple pleasures because we are working for the future. We get bigger and more successful and at one point of time, it ceases to matter to us when we get that big raise or promotion, or sign that huge contract...What scares me is that nobody wants to slow down. Everyone believes that if they stop for a moment or take a break, the organisation will fail in achieving targets.
We come home and are glued to our laptops or phones and hardly talk. Because there is only so much one can pack in a day. And so we prioritise. Pick up the seemingly non negotiable ones and move on.
Changing tracks, it is essential to have that something that gives you a rush of adrenalin, a goal to work towards, and the satisfied feeling that a hard day at work gives.
But aren't we in this process losing out on the fun? How many of us have a book or an idea or a rockstar within us waiting to flutter out?
How many of us are following our true calling? How many of us have yet discovered their true calling? Are we afraid to look for it? For fear of the unconventional?
We study buyer behaviour, we do consumer studies, spend loads of money in try to solve the conundrum of which product will hit it right with the consumers, but cannot invest our time and emotions in understanding our kids, spouses, family. On understanding what will make them happy, given the choice of a few moments of our time and a toy.
I cannot decide what to feel after the movie- elated, boisterous or sad.
I don't want anything extraordinary.
I want a plain and simple mehfil in the weekend evenings. Music, food, laughter, gossip and the quintessential gana- bajana.
Well, the closest to jamming of what I would have done were the impromptu antaksharis played during recess or back home from school or during wedding gatherings. We used to have dancing and singing sessions in our hostel - not restricted to just weekends. Ah the feel good factor!
Believe me dancing, singing and having fun is not just about age. It is attitude. In my previous company we were a gang who were just looking for an excuse to dance. We had coordinated dance moves- a signal, a shout or a word and the entire gang would be matching steps much to everyone's surprise. Sigh! it was fun. If nothing else, we lost a lot of calories doing. I miss that so much. I just want to dance. Wish we had a roudy, boisterous crowd to cheer and clap during the movie.
And wish my kids did not have to do 2 rounds of potty, 3 round of popcorn, potato chips, biscuits, and many rounds of water during the movie.
And yes that was a milestone I mentioned- being able to shit in a public toilet instead of asking- "Mamma, where's baby potty"- Tejas demanded his potty even before the intermission. They believe that while they can use the adult potty at home, it has to be the child seat anywhere other than their home.

Ojas Tejas Roundup

Overheard
Ojas- Tejas, aise nahin, walk slowly. (on the way to school)

Ojas- sings - achchi nani, pyari nani rusa rusi chod de, jaldi se ek "paper" denge (instead of paise de de)
And I finish- tu signature kar de instead of tu kanjoosi chhod de.

January, February.....December, clap clap clap
Sunday, Monday...Saturday, clap, clap, clap (who wouldn't clap for saturday anyway)

Spotted
These Dora in the usual pink (and radical blue). If I didn't know better I would have thought they loved the huge, "scary" Dora mascot, the way they were swaying like "her" and discussing the dress colour.

Passed Mammas Spot Test
They were supposed to wear the dresses in the colours of the flag for independence day eve.
I asked Ojas to recall the colours of each student's dress and he did it correctly and did not change his answers when I repeated the test for him
Advisor

Tejas- Dadda, (touching his stubble), dirty, not nice.
Amazed Mamma
Calling a red Accent as "police car". We have white Accents used by Police here. Time to teach them to spot the correct names of cars rather than Mamma car, Dadda Car etc?

Discovered Potential

Of Discovery Channel as entertaining education for kids- Fish eagle feature was well taken with Ojas imitating the eagle using his famous pink blanket.

Opposites

Dad to Tejas- drink your milk fast, Ojas is drinking fast

Tejas- No. Ojas Late (I swear I never taught them the opposite of fast is late!)

And Finally (Phew) Blocks are being played the way they are meant to be

The Box in the background is the box that houses the blocks- this is a China make building blocks which have a very smooth slide into each other. Only sad thing is that they do not fit into the more common Kinder block set because of difference in fitting mechanisms. But these colours are more flouroscent and child like and the box is off course useful as storage, shifting and also for quarreling. It comes with a lid and a pull along lever- overall resembling like a bullock cart with a yoke.

We do not follow the book given for designs- we do our own like bed, chair, flyover, cycle and even potty which they fake-use with great enthusiasm.

Double Riding

Ojas Tejas Speak

Lame Excuses
After a mosquito bit Tejas in the calf he says- Mosquito kaata. Ab school kaise jaenge? (Now, how will I go to school?)

Chor Chor Bhai Bhai
The kids bring a classmate's tiffin box full of biscuits in one of their school bags.
Next day I ask Ojas (thinking he will reply truthfully) - who gave you this box?
Ojas- Silence/ ignores/ looks away
Tejas mutters under his breath walking out of the house- Shivani (she is a classmate)
By the way- they know the names of all the girls in their class- I am not sure the same can be said of all the boys' names.

Help
Help is a big word I use with them everytime I want them to do something.
They find me in the kitchen cooking with the half door latched. They want to come inside & cannot, so they shout out to me- Mamma, Help!

Self Brushing - with a little help
Mamma is not allowed to brush their teeth now. Forget brush, not even taking their toothbrush & applying paste. Since Ojas was unable to squeeze out the last bit of toothpaste, he tells me, very specifically - tum paste pakdo (you hold the toothpaste). And as I squeeze the paste out, he dislodges it onto the brush!

Cheeni Kam Hai...
Tejas wanted sugar.
He asks- Mamma, Cheeni...Cheeni... Cheeni kam hai! (song)

Complainer
I drop Hubby's car keys and the remote opens up. Now Tejas does this regularly and asks us to snap it back into position.
But this time he calls- Dadda, see, Mamma tooti kiya, car key. (Mamma broke the car key)- All that while careful enough not to touch it and leave behind his finger-prints

Self Service- Benefit of Twins
-I sit on the floor with a pillow and the kids jump on my lap one by one from the bed. After a while, I say I am tired and go to sleep.
Undeterred Ojas takes a pillow and sits down asking Tejas to jump on his lap. Then asks Tejas to do the same service for him.
-Similarly I rock them on my knees lying down on the bed (in the process doing ab crunches). After I tire out, they do it for each other.
-When one gets stuck on a puzzle, the other helps out tactfully- just nudges him in the right direction without actually doing it-unlike Mamma who impatiently pushes the piece in the right position.
-Dadda gave them a ride on his back and then lay on his tummy and said now give me massage, I am tired.
So Tejas gave Ojas & Dadda a "ride on his back" and in identical fashion lay on his tummy and said "Tejas tired give massage"
Translation
Tejas- mudee engai
Me- pretending I did not understand else I would have to look for it
Tejas- helpfully translating-Mudee?? cap ? where?

Rolling the Rrrs Away
And they still cannot say R- so it is yaining, yoti, yabbit, Yong-Coyyect (wrong-correct), Zahul...

Songs
Added to the Able-to-sing list- O, O sanam (Dashavataram), Cheeni Kam hai, Gapu ji Gapu ji gam gam(Ojas-Tejas version).

Photo

After parking all their cars they call to each other and take "photo" with the car key remote- just as Mamma does for every little puzzle they do.

Chupa Rustam

I picked up a pouch lying around. Found it slightly heavy. Unzipped one of the pockets and found a sliver spoon tucked inside. Removed it heaving a sigh of relief at finding it and not going mad searching for it.

2 days later Tejas picks up the pouch and unzips the pocket muttering- isme spoon hai- there is a spoon inside!

And Reverse Psychology does work here- I just have to tell Tejas not to do something and he does it promptly- like no sleeping, no keeping foot on mamma while sleeping, mamma will not make you wear pajamas...

On Why Am I going all Emotional

One Day they will grow up and there will be no more impromptu holding up of their arms and urging me- "mamma godi" (mamma lift me)
Or their casually coming and sitting on my lap without any second thoughts.
Or an obliging hug or a "puchch kissie"- kiss on the lips
Or the quarrel for mamma's lap or sleeping on mamma's tummy in the night.
Though we try to give equal share of love and attention to both Ojas & Tejas, there is no denying of the fact that while we parents get double the fun in bringing them up, their share of parent's attention and "me time" is halved by luck & design.
Cannot fault them for quarreling with each other & punching each other when one has bagged the lap and the other wants to sit too. Or disliking it when we try to lift both of them and give them a "double ride".
Last month they started school. I had to come to terms with the fact that there would be strangers taking care of my little babies. 3 hours each day they would be doing things about which I wouldn't know ever.
There will be day they may have to leave home/ city and move to a hostel and then onwards if they decide to work for someone. I have lots to let go off. Lots to learn. Lots to give up.
Their home, their parents will become one comforting base on whom or which to rely upon. Their roots to hold them on while they soar for newer horizons. Their homing nest while they explore the big wide world.
I will have to learn to set them free instead of clinging on to them in my selfish motherhood.
This post is to remind me to cherish each moment as they come by, to hold them and commit to memory (or blog memory), to indulge their childish simple requests becuase they would not be coming for long and to let go when the time comes and not hang on to the memories of past.
So when those arms go outstretched and the face is screwed in a ready-to-cry mode-if-mamma-refuses and the tiny mouth utters- "godi", I drop everything and oblige them and hug them to my chest. I savour the tiny, warm body clinging to me, I feel their tiny gallopping heart beats against me and hold them close, tightly, soaking in the feeling, committing to memory for posterity.
I wonder- when the principal is giving so much pleasure, what about the interest?
Fingers crossed!

First Movie- 401st Post

Last Friday we took Ojas & Tejas to Jaane Tu - their first movie in a theatre- Mayajaal!
Dad had booked 4 tickets to mark the occassion, thinking that the theatre guys will kick the parents out & all only the kids in if we buy only 2 tickets. 1 more adult- Mausi was called in and the 4th seat for given to Ojas!
Ojas checked just in case- "no doctor?"- thinking for a moment we had taken them to the doctor.
The moment the lights were shut, and the movie started with the scary horse scene- Ojas started crying- ghummi chale pointing to the door and Tejas sank into Dadda's lap and averted his eys as far as possible away from the screen yet watched the screen with on eye partially hidden behind Dadda's arms- if it is possible, that is.
Ojas' heart was gallopping at the scary movie and the added discomfort of the Rs 140 seat closing on him, he was not enjoying it at all to Mamma's great sadness!
So Mamma picked him up and held him safe in her arms. The first half was spent like this inspite of Mamma trying to make Ojas dance to "pappu can't dance".
We bought popcorn at intermission and that cheered them up considerably. And then they sat upright and popped popcorn & watched the movie. Mausi had to buy another pack of popcorn which was not shared with the adults at all.
Anyway, I loved the Shah couple in their element & liked Arbaz & Sohail the best in the movie!
1 movie had them hooked. The entire weekend they were saying- movie chale?
We also watched Sholay with English subtitles- for hubby's sake on Sunday.
The subtitles do not do justice to dialogues like-
"Bahut yaraana hai?"
"Pichle saal jo jamna ki shaadi mein humlog chup chupa kay gaye the- usme ee khub nachi thee!" "Sardar bahut khus hoga! Sabaasi dega!"

Benefits of School

1. The routine is set- wake up at 6.30-7.00 am, brush, eat, poop, bath, go to school, back home, lunch, sleep, milk, play, dinner, sleep at 8.30-9.00 pm

2. Potty routine is set to morning instead of how it used to be either anytime, or weekend no potty or Tejas in the morning & Ojas at night. Gives me a lot of peace of mind because I don't have to worry about they doing it in school bcause they have not really larnt to confess that they want to do potty when they are outside their home. Also, now I can go out in peace if they have done their potty as per their fixed times. Sigh!

3. Mealtimes are fixed the only hitch being they do not eat their tiffin that I pack.

4. They are ready to go and sleep around 8.30 pm nowadays.

5. We managed to do an outing after making them sleep one week - night! Gives me some hope- we could catch up with a movie someday maybe.

6. I have become disciplined now- no late nights, wake up on time and get things done. No TV too though barring the mornings when I put compulsory music channel.

7. I get some peaceful half an hour after they leave for school & before I leave for work.

8. I feel more useful and get a great sense of satisfaction that I am doing things for them

9. While quantity time together lacks because I am working, I appreciate the truly quality time we spend together- multitasking & making use of every waking moment- doing puzzle while eating or reading in bed or singing in bed or dancing together during weekends.

10. Less of passive TV for the kids because 1st half is spent in school and they now go to bed early.

Meanwhile, brother joins 1st job today

Lingerie Lessons

Just when you thought that you know of all the uses of lingerie, here comes this study that talks of how there is more to this garment than meets the eye
A friend who worked in a lingerie factory once enlightened me about how complicated the manufacturing of innerwear is, infact I visited Intimate Fashions factory and was absolutely itching to lay my hands on them- may be grab a consignment before they got shipped and take them all home with me.
Giving the well deserved respect to the complications of manufacturing, the milestones that most women pass through while lingerie buying would be-
1. The first time- bought by mom & given to be worn
2. The first independent purchase
3. Innerwear for the Trousseou
4. Innerwear used during pregnancy
5. After pregnancy
6. Chasing-the-mirage-stage- waiting to be back to normal
7. Deeply-regret-vital statistics-is-permanently-altered stage
So I woke up one morning and realized that stage 7 has crept upon me and it's time I stop hanging on to the relics from the past and take the bold leap.
So I walk in to the Chennaite's destination for Lingrie wear- Naidu Hall- give a glance towards the pukeworthy styles displayed along with the clueless saleswomen and drive straight out to Globus. I brace myself for the long hours in the trial room exprimenting with various arbit designs and styles until I find a few styles that suit & fit me.
Enter the apparently clueless but seemingly expert innerwear consultant who is eager to guide me during my purchase. I dismissively mention her my preferences and needs and she gives me the most expensive and delicate looking pieces in vibrant and feminine colors to try- just for size. For the first time in life I note that they actually fit well. Delighted I ask for similar styles at half the price or less because I am habituated to think in the larger picture terms-how does the price compare to a kurta or a top or any other outerwear. Out came the most behenji style unflattering pieces in standard black, white & tan guaranteed to turn the man off if something naughty is on the agenda. No laces, no frills, no fancy but still cost as much as a Fab India short top or men's kurta- just putting things in perspective.
As I often say- no amount of professional training can work in real life situations- we are all just common consumers and we behave like one even though our formal training teaches us various arts of negotiation and marketing gimmicks. So the lingerie consultant practiced her consumer behavious skills on me who was a very easy target- she played on my obvious attraction for bright, cheerful colours and prints and laces and slyly suggested that I buy a few ordinary ones and just 1 or 2 "horribly" expensive ones for occassion/special occassions. Now the cool me who is definitely not over the hill just because she is a mamma of 2 and plans to age in style played right into the trap and did an impulse purchase of various colours/ styles/ prints/ material of innerwear.
For the first time, I was explained while buying, on what styles would be right for me. I did no random trials but every piece she gave me was deliberately selected keeping in mind that I am on stage 7 of the buying stages.
I finished in less than an hour and that was my most satisfactory experience in innerwear buying.
Coincidentally the saleswoman's name was Juliet (local undies manufacturer!)

Promenade on Pondy

Located right on the Pondicherry beach it has an out of the world sensation.
A selection of 2 dining areas- 1 buffet / ala carte & another right on the roof top- aptly named lighthouse.
An aquarium of oblivious fish for kids to be occupied and a safe roof top area puts minds of tired parents at ease- friendly though seemingly clueless waiters don't mind ferrying the kids round.
The menu was supposedly Italian style- I ordered a tandoori chicken set menu and malai kababs for the kids. But no, the kids were busy polishing off the spicy papads, downing them with sips of water- papads which were actually too hot for my taste. I also took a walnut brownie with chocolat sauce.
Hubby took a paneer set menu- never got round to tasting his though.
They also serve Indian food for the ground floor kitchen.
The service is excrutiatingly slow for a hungry tummy. But that's the idea here- food doesn't seem to be the main agenda- it's the ambience & the drinks probably.
I would rather go for the spread where in I may have a pick of the larger menu.

And Drumroll please....

I hav clocked 10000 today at kathipara junction around 10.15 this morning.

Three cheers for my Swift car!

And yes guys- yesterday I bribed the petrol bunk at Indra Nagar Rs 100 for full tank- else they were willing to fill only for Rs 500 - now thi sis what I call making the most of the public panic created because of the strike.

Thoughts of a Mom of School Going Children

1. I am happy that you have a place to go and enjoy with your peer group
2. A place that will unfold your talents- I am still amazed at the finger painting & comb painting that you have apparently done.
3. I go all senti that I am leaving my babies in the care of unknown strangers attributing every cut & nick to -something must have happened at school
4. I am getting into serious control issues- requesting the teacher to allow you to play in the swings because that is what you look forward to most
5. I feel more worthy of being your mom - because now I feed you breakfast & dinner and get you ready for school each morning.
6. My car feels vacant every morning and I miss those mandatory - only one round before I go for work
7. Now the tables have turned - I wave you goodbye every morning- and I do it better than you because I am not screaming my heart out every time you leave for school