THE CRY BABIES
I often face statements like – 3.00 am I heard your kids cry, or patronizing ones like I haven’t heard your kids cry so much since last one week.
I am not exactly proud that the kids cry if they wake up late in the night or scream during the day when they do not get the attention or object they seek. But if I were in the neighbours’ place, I perhaps would not bother young parents with questions like these. To me a crying child is far or no better in terms of disturbance/ annoyance index than the man who stands on the verandah outside his house and just above my bedroom window and sneezes continuously until the dusting and sweeping is over in his home, or the dog who barks and growls right above my balcony from early morning to late night or the troll who bursts the entire left over diwali crackers one sleepy afternoon or the kids who ruin my garden during any random playtime or those kids who do not budge from near the rear wheels of the car that is screaming to reverse or the mother’s who gossip nearby and are too engrossed to keep an eye on the kids who nearly kill themselves every evening or the old man who plucks every single flower in the campus each morning or the uncouth who serves dinner on the expensive TT table in the association hall. No sir & no Mam, my kids are not a bother if they cry for a total of a few hours spread across the 24 hours. I would be seriously concerned if somebody attributed even one of the above behaviours upon me or my family.
I am glad that my kids are assertive and get their way around us. They need the training to survive in this world where the meek are subdued and ignored and the ones who demand are noticed.
Given a choice, I would rather have a child who brawls rather than one who sits quietly. Yes, my kids are very high maintenance and they do drive me mad, but I don’t seem to mind it then why are you concerned?
I get comments that they are so naughty.
I am secretly pleased that they are naughty. According to my theory, naughty kids are brainier. They have the crookedness inside their mind to think tangentially and innovate. When I see my kids trying to open the cupboard door (to reduce the distance between the bed and the cupboard) and then do a spiderman jump from the bed in their attempt to catch the keys hanging from the cupboard, I freak out yet I am amazed. When I see them dragging a carton or the laptop bag to the fridge so that they can reach the handle, I am angry yet glad that they thought about it.
They cry for everything. I am glad they communicate that way. I am not ashamed. If my kids are crying, it does not necessarily mean that we have failed as parents or caregivers.
It is no rocket science- if they cry I don’t aimlessly rock them or try to distract them. Neither do I ignore them if that is what people think. I patiently try to deduce why they are crying. They are at a stage when they are able to express without speaking. It takes time for me to do an elimination round to uncover the root cause of crying. I may have to point out at several objects like water, mobile phone, keys, book, remote, clothes clip, vicks bottle until I can zero upon the object in demand. Until then the crying will continue and the neighbours can reach hell if they want to but for heaven’s sake (pun very much intended) don’t patronize me by giving me clues in handling the crying.
Often people do not realize that the equations of having 2 kids of the same age in the house are different. More often than not they will have similar requirements around similar times. There may be times when one of the kids gets ignored by luck not necessarily by design. Imagine a situation when hubby or I am alone in the house and both need a (potty) wash. Can it be done at the same time? One has to cry till the other gets attended to. Some times one snatches the toy from the other and the poor fellow is left to cry and complain.
Not to forget the riot that happens when we go to office or mausi (aunt)/ grandma leave for their respective homes. They don’t understand the concept of temporary separation.
Inspite of myself, I was glad when a couple or more pregnancies within the apartment complex were declared. I was glad that the buck will no longer stop at my doors. The crying blame could be fairly or unfairly passed on to other homes with newborns. But no, it seems I am the only one blessed with cry-babies! I marvel at those low maintenance newborns in my building that are seen and not heard.
I know that babies don’t do movies, restaurants, travel, shopping. But you were a parent so many years ago and you know very well the dynamics of getting someone to care for your child the many times you want to go out. Therefore I am allowed an occasional restaurant or shopping scene with my kids. After all, for every vegetable purchase I need to do, I can’t be calling a caretaker to look after the kids. And since I am out the entire week working, I don’t allow the caretaker (read MIL) to do weekends. She deserves to recuperate every weekend. So people, I will shop with the kids every weekend. And if my children cry, bear it; I did it a few years ago before I became a mother and children (may be yours) were bawling in the shopping malls/ cinema theatres and airline. Don’t forget you were the culprit a few years ago. If you have forgotten already, then may be your grandchildren will refresh your memories.
Meanwhile it seems baby boys cry more than girls and we all know that crying is good.
I am not exactly proud that the kids cry if they wake up late in the night or scream during the day when they do not get the attention or object they seek. But if I were in the neighbours’ place, I perhaps would not bother young parents with questions like these. To me a crying child is far or no better in terms of disturbance/ annoyance index than the man who stands on the verandah outside his house and just above my bedroom window and sneezes continuously until the dusting and sweeping is over in his home, or the dog who barks and growls right above my balcony from early morning to late night or the troll who bursts the entire left over diwali crackers one sleepy afternoon or the kids who ruin my garden during any random playtime or those kids who do not budge from near the rear wheels of the car that is screaming to reverse or the mother’s who gossip nearby and are too engrossed to keep an eye on the kids who nearly kill themselves every evening or the old man who plucks every single flower in the campus each morning or the uncouth who serves dinner on the expensive TT table in the association hall. No sir & no Mam, my kids are not a bother if they cry for a total of a few hours spread across the 24 hours. I would be seriously concerned if somebody attributed even one of the above behaviours upon me or my family.
I am glad that my kids are assertive and get their way around us. They need the training to survive in this world where the meek are subdued and ignored and the ones who demand are noticed.
Given a choice, I would rather have a child who brawls rather than one who sits quietly. Yes, my kids are very high maintenance and they do drive me mad, but I don’t seem to mind it then why are you concerned?
I get comments that they are so naughty.
I am secretly pleased that they are naughty. According to my theory, naughty kids are brainier. They have the crookedness inside their mind to think tangentially and innovate. When I see my kids trying to open the cupboard door (to reduce the distance between the bed and the cupboard) and then do a spiderman jump from the bed in their attempt to catch the keys hanging from the cupboard, I freak out yet I am amazed. When I see them dragging a carton or the laptop bag to the fridge so that they can reach the handle, I am angry yet glad that they thought about it.
They cry for everything. I am glad they communicate that way. I am not ashamed. If my kids are crying, it does not necessarily mean that we have failed as parents or caregivers.
It is no rocket science- if they cry I don’t aimlessly rock them or try to distract them. Neither do I ignore them if that is what people think. I patiently try to deduce why they are crying. They are at a stage when they are able to express without speaking. It takes time for me to do an elimination round to uncover the root cause of crying. I may have to point out at several objects like water, mobile phone, keys, book, remote, clothes clip, vicks bottle until I can zero upon the object in demand. Until then the crying will continue and the neighbours can reach hell if they want to but for heaven’s sake (pun very much intended) don’t patronize me by giving me clues in handling the crying.
Often people do not realize that the equations of having 2 kids of the same age in the house are different. More often than not they will have similar requirements around similar times. There may be times when one of the kids gets ignored by luck not necessarily by design. Imagine a situation when hubby or I am alone in the house and both need a (potty) wash. Can it be done at the same time? One has to cry till the other gets attended to. Some times one snatches the toy from the other and the poor fellow is left to cry and complain.
Not to forget the riot that happens when we go to office or mausi (aunt)/ grandma leave for their respective homes. They don’t understand the concept of temporary separation.
Inspite of myself, I was glad when a couple or more pregnancies within the apartment complex were declared. I was glad that the buck will no longer stop at my doors. The crying blame could be fairly or unfairly passed on to other homes with newborns. But no, it seems I am the only one blessed with cry-babies! I marvel at those low maintenance newborns in my building that are seen and not heard.
I know that babies don’t do movies, restaurants, travel, shopping. But you were a parent so many years ago and you know very well the dynamics of getting someone to care for your child the many times you want to go out. Therefore I am allowed an occasional restaurant or shopping scene with my kids. After all, for every vegetable purchase I need to do, I can’t be calling a caretaker to look after the kids. And since I am out the entire week working, I don’t allow the caretaker (read MIL) to do weekends. She deserves to recuperate every weekend. So people, I will shop with the kids every weekend. And if my children cry, bear it; I did it a few years ago before I became a mother and children (may be yours) were bawling in the shopping malls/ cinema theatres and airline. Don’t forget you were the culprit a few years ago. If you have forgotten already, then may be your grandchildren will refresh your memories.
Meanwhile it seems baby boys cry more than girls and we all know that crying is good.
