Dizzy Heights

Height of blame game- Ojas doing potty on the floor and blaming that "Dadda' did it or the soft toy dog did it

Height of pretense- my brother kissed Tejas and he complained- chot (bruise)

Height of acting- They call a small rectangular piece of toy as soap, rub it all over the body and then over the eyes and say "eeyaah" and shut their eyes tight as if soap has gone into their eyes

Height of copying- Ojas picks up the mobile and says "what" exactly as I do when hubby calls and then passes the phone to Tejas saying Dadda

Height of dismay- when the doorbell rings they say Dadda and if he is not there, they cry and search for him beyond the door

Height of disgust- When one shits the other bends low over it, smells it and says Hey God, Smell and pinches his nose.

Height of creativity- the only object they want me to mould out of the play doh is potato.

Height of self- reliance- they take mini cooked rotis from me, roll them on their miniature chakla with their miniature belan and then eat them

Height of rationing- if one has 2 toys of the same kind, the other tells him very strictly only one

Height of predicting the predictable- I take their book at bedtime and open a page, both say unanimously- "show me car" in uncanny imitation of mine

Height of correlation- my sister came home, they immediately informed her-Mamu and pointed inside the room. Conversely, when they are looking for my sister, they ask my brother- Mausi?

Height of patronising- they teach my brother the names of all the vehicles on the road as if he is the only one in the group who is ignorant

Dizzy Heights

Height of Protective Instinct- Ojas walked out of the room, slamming the door shut. He realized belatedly that Tejas is inside the room. He began to cry, "Chuttu" and started trying to open the door. I quickly relieved him of his misery. Inside Tejas was grinning and waiting for the door to open.

Height of Royalty (Laatsahibi)- Tejas asks Ojas for a Maachaaj (Massage)

Height of Studiousness- Ojas picks up his book which he took to bed at 3.00am and reads it by the light streaming in from the window

Height of Intolerence- They wrinkle their face and pinch their nose as they cannot withstand the smell of their own shit.

Height of Worry- Ojas gets worried when his skin gets wrinkled after staying too long in the water.

Height of Dadagiri- Ojas scolding the kid who was watching them when they were playing in their pool. Also scolding the older kid who tried to play on the slide at the play area in the store.

Height of Fear- They getting scared of a large butterfly.

Height of Correlation- Ojas passed gas. Tejas pointed at his butt and said kakka- (potty)

Height of Gourmet- They insist on getting chicken pieces from our plate, irrespective of what we are eating - "Chikky, chikky"

Height of Cheekiness- If they tear/ break something, they love to show it to me everyday saying - tutti (broken)

Height of Pretence- Ojas falls asleep while eating lunch. The moment you try to put him to bed he wakes up. To make him sleep again, you need to say, "shall I bring lunch". Promptly he closes his eyes and pretends to sleep.

Height of Tech Savviness- The remote does not work, so we punch 3 buttons- power, channel, video switches to get the TV/ Set top box running- they have figured that out. They have worked out that the A/C gets switched on using mains, stabilizer and the A/C panel buttons in tandem.

Height of Preference- They prefer cold water and point at the fridge when they want water.

Height of Aspiring High- Mamma teaching them Sa Re Ga Ma Pa every night before going to bed, and they repeating after her. And this is their preferred lullaby- "saa, saa" said when I try to switch to a different lullaby

Dizzy Heights-3, Addendas

Height of Association- Ojas says “Thaa” for Kutta (dog). I tied up my hair high on my head with a clip and he pointed at it and said thaa thaa

Height of Starting Early- They don’t know how to walk properly but love to sit on their tricycle (gift from grandma)

Height of (Dis)advantage- Ojas crawling away in top speed with a toy and Tejas following him-haltingly walking

Height of Dodge- Tejas playing with the cordless phone and when he saw Ojas coming to snatch it, he pushes the mobile cover towards Ojas for him to play with it.

Height of Dodge 2- Both playing with cordless phone. Tejas happens to get the one that does not work; he throws it away and snatches the one that Ojas is having. Ojas refuses to give so Tejas surreptitiously pushes the phone that is not working towards Ojas and confuses him and snatched the good piece

Height of Socializing- Both sitting and drinking from their bottles and towards the end both drink bottoms up.
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Addenda to Only in Bihar
1. Chain pronounced like Man means Zip (pronounced as Jip)
2. When they say switch on the Mercury (pronounced- Mer-Ka-ree) they mean switch on the tubelight- wonder how I could forget that – I almost laughed out loud when I thought of it.
3. Glass (tumbler) is pronounced as Gilass
4. Labour means Labourer
5. Tempo means Autorickshaw
6. Ration- pronounced as Raashan means monthly grocery- what's the alternate hindi word for monthly grocery- any one?
7. Kerosene is also called Matti tel literally meaning mud-oil or of course Kiraasan
8. Cycle is pronounced as Cykil
9. Yellow is pronounced Yall-low
10. Funy is pronounced as Fun-nee

Only in Chennai
1. When someone says nice Salwar or nice Churidaar- they mean the Kurta or salwar suit- For very long I use to wonder why people never complimented my kurta but only the salwar
2. If a man and woman are sitting in a bus together it follows that they are husband and wife
3. When they say- you don’t have brine they mean you don’t have brain
4. Everything here is a cover- Envelope, Plastic Bag and the covers..
5. Most flowers are some "malli"
6. You don't put lipstick or nailpolish but wear them
7. I used to laugh when I heard soft drink is called cool drink - in North they are called cold drink

Only in Bengal
1. They don't travel in train without a mug
2. Rubber band is Gudder or gaarder(derived Garter? or Girder?)- anyone please enlighten us
3. In winter,they tie a scarf on their head even while going to the bathroom
4. You is pronounced as iu and We is pronounced as ui
5. And the best part- they serve a good variety of non veg dishes in weddings but if they happen to have a sit and get served system, they will start with lemon, salt, papad and proceed to vegetarian food, rice etc and towards the end only they will serve poori and non-veg in huge quantities- so adjust your eating speed and quantity accordingly
6. Ambassador is pronounced as Am-ba-sadoor (am & ba is slowly and sadoor is very fast)
7. Embroidery is pronounced as ambraidory

Dizzy* Heights- Version 2

Continuing with my previous post of Heights
Height of Dodge- When I want Ojas to give me whatever he has in his hand, I say “Thank you”. He immediately gives it to me & before I can take possession of it, he takes it back & runs away.

Height of Starting Early- Ojas sings aa aa aa in the tune of bheege honth tere song of the movie Murder …well - almost

Height of Unsportsmanship spirit- I play hide & seek with Ojas & Tejas. If they cannot find me, they cry

Height of Piousness- Both join hubby when he does the puja

Height of Teasing- I tell Tejas not to lick the floor; he looks at me & then licks it again.

Height of Studiousness- both fighting for the single Alphabets book they possess.

Height of Similarity- Both will take a pair of socks and play with it- “banging” them together

Height of Persistance- Ojas is playing with a dangerous toy, I snatch it & give him another. He takes it & throws it away and does that until I give the dangerous one to him.

Height of Challenge- Tejas stands up holding me/ chair, leaves his hands and smiles to himself till he is able to hold himself up.

Height of Playfulness- Tejas thinks Ojas is playing with him when he crawls fast. Seeing him do that, Tejas grins, shakes his head, crawls rapidly & tries to hide in my lap

Height of Daredevilry- Ojas used to be scared of the food processor. Now, he goes to the kitchen in his walker and stares at the food processor straight “into the eye” when it is running.

Height of Technocrat- Tejas has removed the “Fn” key of my sister’s laptop

Height of Buttering- Tejas will look sweetly at my sister or hubby when they switch on their laptop

Height of Sixth Sense- Ojas will say Ta Ta when he sees someone wearing their sandals or picking the handbag.

Height of Engrossment- They gobble up the entire food while watching ads on TV or some song

Height of Cultural Activity- They favour certain songs and rush to the TV whenever those songs are playing. Ojas will dance (arms moving balle balle) and tejas will have a foolish smile on his face.

Height of Cleanliness- During meals, Tejas will wipe his mouth over my dress.

Height of Grooming- Both will wipe each other's face with their nappy pads.

Height of Participation- Both will have their own glasses in the Juice shop

Height of Arrogance- The look on their face when they are standing at the steering wheel

* The term dizzy heights is borrowed from Hip Hop grand Mom (mentioned on the comments in my heights post)

Heights

Height of cruelty- Tejas hitting his toy butterfly with his toy doggie

Height of reward- I strike a conversation with Ojas when he wakes up in the morning. He picks up his bottle and hands it to me in reward.

Height of challenge- Ojas surpasses himself in his achievements. He holds his feeding bottle cap between his toes, the next level is the feeding bottle, followed by his pillow, his bolster & finally my pillow. The ultimate goal is to be able to hold one end between his toes & the other in his mouth.

Height of vigilance- Tejas periodically removing the Velcro of Ojas’ nappy (to check if he has soiled it?)

Height of dieting- Ojas touches the roti to his foot before putting in his mouth until he is done with it.

Height of desperation- If we give the bottle to one baby who is hungry, the other automatically wants the bottle too.

Height of competition- Who gets into my lap first when I come back from office.

Height of comparison- Ojas comparing his foot with Daddy’s. What next?

Height of rivalry- Tejas crawls and climbs over Ojas who is taking his feed and cries until he gets it. Sometimes even snatches the bottle from Ojas’ mouth.

Height of anger- you take them out of the door & then come back into the house & the reaction you get post that.

Height of table manners- I gave Tejas a piece of bread & he grabbed at my plate & wouldn’t eat his bread until I gave him a plate of his own.

Height of fitness- Ojas doing push ups when trying to crawl & doing Adho mukha shvaanaasana when trying to stand up

Height of choice- the toy they select from their toy basket would be the lid of a box or a clothes clip that would have accidentally found its way into their basket

Height of choosiness- among his toy mobile phone, a normal cell phone & a flip model cell phone, Tejas selects the flip model every time and hates it if it is not flipped open before handing it over to him

Height of dadagiri- both shout at MIL aaayyyy if she arrives late in the morning

Height of frustration- Ojas trying to scratch his bum over his diaper

Height of provocation- Tejas snatches the remote from Ojas' hands, "runs" away in his walker, returns to Ojas, dangles the remote in front of him & runs away again.