So the kids and I were generally hanging around and Tejas threw a tantrum. He did something unpardonable in Mommy & Baby book (I forgot what) and I waved a threatening slap at him. Instead of running away from slap range, he came back and slapped me. That's it. I decided that no more slaps to the kids anymore. They have learnt to give "Thappad ka jawab with thappad" already. A nice tight slap can no longer be the answer to my woes now.
So the modus operandi for any mischief is to straight give a time out and nobody talks to them until they say sorry and give a kissie incase they have hit someone. No questions asked.
So I was following this policy and we were playing story drawing- I was telling a story and illustrating it using simple drawings (idea borrowed from the book Nanny diaries) and then I decided to play "guess what I draw- I mean one has to really guess with my limited drawing skills". I will hide the book and do a (quick) drawing (else their patience will run out) and then show it and they have to answer what I draw. Tejas did not like that I hid the book and he was pestering me to show and I was hiding it. Suddenly, he gave me two simultneous slaps with his palms and one palm caught my right eye. Tears fell out of the sting I got in my eye and i sat quietly announcing that I will not talk to Tejas until he says sorry and gives a kiss.
Ojas asked if I wanted ice.
Tejas after a while said- Seereee (so that the Sorry doesn't sound like sorry yet serves the purpose)
I reiterated that I will not talk until I get a sorry and a kissie.
Tejas- Sorry bolaa naa (I told sorry na?)
Me- What about kissie?
Tejas- kissie nahin hai.
And then Ojas was not eating so instead of a slap I apealed to his kinder nature and started crying. Tejas immediately started eating even and Ojas went about his business. So I offered a spoon again
Ojas- Nahin, tum roi roi karo (no, you sit and cry)
So much for non-violence policy!
And another technique when they hit each other or anyone else -
Instead of hitting back I propogate the idea of reurning the slap back. I just rub the spot where the slap had landed and place it (gently offcourse but with a very discarding it sort of action) on the slapper's hands sayng keep your slap back, we don't want it. That makes them forget that they were fighting. Infact the moment the slapper sees me rubbing the spot to collect the slap, he runs away trying to escape taking back the slap.
9 comments:
This was really funny to read though I know how difficult it is to take the correct decisions about these things. I get absolutely confused at time swhat to do.
This taking the slap back is surely unique though. :)
i like the last idea best!
This is very creative parenting. I must say I am impressed, specially with the last idea.
BTW you have been tagged
wow!! kitta sochna padta hai yaar har baare mein!!
and in your case if one idea works with one, it just might not work with another! two much, i say!
cheers!
abha
true, non violence policy works for me too(till now)!
tum roi roi karo so cute :) and taking the slap back is a very good idea... i am impressed
I just LOVE your taking-the-slap-bak idea! In the menageries where I dwell with four little monkeys, this should be very interesting!
Thanks!
It's shocking how early egos come into play. Even my fella says Solla instead of Solly (we don't do Rs)
All the best with your pratigya. You inspire me
The last idea is simply great .. You are creative !!
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