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Wednesday, September 10, 2008

What all We do to Spice up Our Social Life

There was a certain do in Park that we attended on the weekend.
Where the floor was packed with formally dressed and color coordinated men and wives, occupying various tables and sticking to their own mini or large groups. There were rich men, not so rich men, belongers (wordish?), not so belongers (us?), smokers, Drink-ers, eaters (me?), trendy and hot women- and so comfortable with their selves- fully clothed, semi clothed, blouseless blouses, kanchukis that would make one, well, desperate to tug at, undoing the knot, desperately-trying-hard-to-fit-in women, all definitely fitting-in in the semi dark dimly lit hall but looking strangely discordant when the lights would come on for some reason or so. Clean backed, Smooth skins, not a hair out of place, ship-shape, pointy heels, color coordinated bags, jewels & accesories...Sigh! I would never reach their level of non-chalant yet carefully done up appearance. I would never fit in. I would never be able to attain that poise inspite of reading up all the tricks in the Femina Sep 2008 edition on how to ensure you get noticed as you enter a party-
Reached Late - check
Paused after entering the hall- check
Took a stance- feet placed in a complicated fashion in front of each other- check
Walked the cat walk (practiced on the borders of the tiles or straight yellow lines on 5-S following ofice)- Check
Randomly looked around- check
Randomly looked around again-check
Would have still looked around randomly if a hassled looking guy would not have seated me on a table.
I would never learn how to do the right make up- as long as I apply uneven eye liners I will never look as if I have made an effort.
I would never be able to wear the backless blouses or sphagetti straps or the evening gowns as long as I do not loose WEIGHT
These were the women whom I have never seen on the streets or in the malls or restaurant. Gosh, these women do shop right? They do eat out right? Or perhaps I am not looking in the right places Or perhaps I am not figuring them out even if I am looking at the right places?
Sheesh! Almost 10 years in Chennai and not a single person whom I recognized. Atleast we should have bumped into someone whom we would know already. Zilch!
What a shame.
In the name of interaction and networking, I did not move beyond the introductions- that included just the names.
So I looked around, hoping to spot someone I should know, either from the customers in the 2 jobs I have held, or someone from my gym, or maybe a blogger... I looked carefully at all the kids around just in case I spotted someone familiar, and then there would be this aha moment and I would recognize the child and the mother and we would discover we are blog friends and then the social do would be a breeze. Alas, these fantasies- they definitely serve one purpose- help in time pass.
Hubby took pity on me and invited me to share his table at the far end of the hall- which was like the prostitutes table- every one stopped to place their ashtrays, or drinks there. We smoked the passive smoke and the waiters ignored our table because
a) we were not in suits
b) we were just 3 at our table
c) we were at the end of the hall hence insignificant- wherever we would have sat we would have been insignificant as another group who occupied that table after we moved to another one got served snacks at their table.
So we focussed on the waiters for an hour willing them to look our way- strangely I was reminded of this post (just do control F and say waiter- you will reach the part I am referring to) which talks of the hierarchy among waiters. True I was just looking at the ones carrying chilly chicken. But even the cutlet-wallahs did not look our way.
Now imagine sitting at a party, with no drink, no starters, no aquaintances...
After the 1st hour spent thus I insisted that the husband ask for snacks to be served at our table. We made 3 attempts and failed. Now someone give me lessons on how to grab attention- Femina did try in the afore mentioned Sep 08 edition, look in the eye, level up, speak in a firm deep voice or something of that sort- well, nothing worked. It was simply not my day.
Sigh! it makes me wish I was pregnant so that I could legitimately bawl my husband could authoritatively ask for snacks to be served pronto to his pregnant wife and I would be a waited upon like a celebrity. (Now that's an idea for next time, with my ever-pregnant-never-delivery belly)
Or perhaps I should have just brought the kids along so that in the pretext of asking stuff for the kids I could have got plates and juices served at my table endlessly.
And now imagine after all this build up - walking out after 2 hours with just a handful of awful tasting mixture (minus peanuts) in your belly because the dinner was to start a tad too late for us working parents with kids to be sent to school next morning.
Ghar kaa khana zindabad- and no straying to a restaurant because self had promised hubby no outside food for a few days to make up for the money spent on prawns the previous day! - which by-the-way was yummylicious.
Now don't ask me the logic- this is how we save money!


Anonymous said...

That is sad, you know. I learnt it early in life that once you do go to one of the snobby dos, one should corner a waiter, bribe him to get every snack that is served there and assure him that there is more baksheesh coming. It works

BTW its cheaper than going to a restaurant after the do

Indian Home Maker said...

I would try phoenixritu's advise...

Mama - Mia said...


sounds like a recent wedding reception we went to!! a complete nightmare!!

me, i am dehatan even at snobbish do's! i call out to chilly chicken bhiayya loud enough for him to not ignore me again!! sigh!



Monika,Ansh said...

lol...... u really tried the tips in Femina? that wud have been a sight!
so, did u not know the hosts also? how did u end up a such a party?
Enjoyed the post. Love your humour

Itchingtowrite said...

monika- long story yaar... t was a grp party- many people hosting it and various grps join on pay basis sort of - don't want to really explain blatantly- marenge if i am found out

the advice by the way is great- better than just ooking at the chilly chicken passing near your nose without meeting u