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Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Tell Me

Please solve my doubts...
1. If one is wearing a black shirt and another a white one and sleeping at night with the lights off, will the mosquitoes bite the one wearing white or black?
2. At the age of 2 plus, is it ok not to force feed kids if they are absolutly, stubbornly refusing? Especially if you realize that they have had some fruits, bread, biscuits & juice over the last 3 hours.
3. If one parent is scolding the kids, should the other parent or any other person present intervene if tke kids look up to the others to "save them/ support them"?
Especially when the naughty fellows are able enough to tell that the other guy did the mistake.
4. Does a diet which include 2 meals of milk (kheer/ cornflakes etc) and 1 glass of milk at bedtime suffices as "enough milk gone in the system" or more is needed?
5. Is it ok to give more than 1 egg per day to kids of 2 plus years?
6. Is it ok to give non veg (fish) everyday to the kids of this age group? Is sea fish better or river fish?
7. Is it ok to top milk with stuff like chocolate powder/ malt beverages at 2 plus age? Most malt beverages do not recommend to be given below 3 years old. Is it better to allow them to get used to plain milk at this stage?
8. Is coffee or tea ok for 2 plus age group? When is it ok?
9. Is powder milk better than the dairy wallah milk packets? I know that milk packets are also pasteurised but I have people putting doubts in my mind.
10. What fruits can be eaten at night- banana? grapes? Or is there no specific time for fruits to be eaten?
11. Can lettuce be eaten at night?
12. Is honey good or bad for kids stomach- studies say it is good for the stomach but a doc told me not to give during diarrhea. Also someone else told me that honey precipitates loose stools and the net says honey helps during diarreah. Who is right?
13. If the kids sleep after a light dinner of dosa/ roti-veggi around say 10 pm and a glass of milk at around 11 pm and wake up next day at 9 am- does it mean I am not feeding them enough and they must be under-nourished and poor things they must be suffering from hunger pangs? Especially because until last month they were used to getting a bottle feed at around 7 am in their sleep. I tried changing it to spoon feeding them milk while they were sleeping so that the stomach is not very empty when they wake up but they simply turned and slept on their tummies. So I gave up after 2 days and began giving them breakfast the moment they woke up. Is topped the morning milk feed all together. Am I right in doing it? They are not cracnky at all infact they are taking their breakfast with more eagerness.
14. Last Dec onwards they were doing their potty / susu in their baby pottys. From last month we hid their potties and started forcing them to use the toilet. They refused to use the western loo even with the baby seat but are ok using the Indian one. But they started constipating- they would go every alternate day and are not at all regular (earlier they used to go every morning). Now I am being blamed for spoiling their routine- by removing the potty and also by removing the bottle so that they are not getting enough milk and are constipating. Where am I going wrong. Is in't it time they get used to adult loo? They will be going to school soon. School will definitely ensure they get used to loos but travelling is tough until they get used to doing in adult loos.

17 comments:

The Kid said...

dont know the answer to any of your questions

but

8. Is coffee or tea ok for 2 plus age group? When is it ok?

what???? what????

I was allowed the first drop of coffee when I was 16!

GettingThereNow said...

First of all - you are the mom. Go with what your gut tells you. I think your judgment was correct in numbers 13 and 14. My 9 month old goes to sleep at 8 and gets up at 6:30. If she can go through such long hours, so can 2+ year olds. Also, you yourself said they eat better when they get up at 9.

One question regarding number 14 - are they getting enough water? I don't know the recommended amount, but I remember I used to make sure S got at least 1.5 glasses (12 ounces) of water during the entire day when she was this old. 3 servings of milk sounds good, but you could add more calcium by giving them cheese and yogurt during snack/lunch time.

Now on to the other questions -

1. I guess white because mosquitoes are attracted by light colors -but don't know for sure.

2. If you know they have had some junk food during the last few hours, don't force feed them. Just restrict what they eat between meals in future.

3. ABSOLUTELY NOT! When one parent is disciplining, the other adults in the house must stay impartial. They shouldn't join in the scolding and neither should they protect. At least that is the rule I an J follow - and it has served us well over the years.

4. I'd say if it is kheer, then maybe they haven't had one full serving of milk because rice also takes up some volume and as 2 year olds they possibly can't eat enough to equal 8 ounces of milk.

5. Don't know. Maybe you shoudl ask a pediatrician or a pediatric dietician. (Blogger Shobana might be helpful - she is a dietician)

6. Don't know.

7. It is OK, but IMHO plain milk is better. The chocolate powder and malt beverages come loaded with sugar which I don't recommend for kids before they develop good eating habits. I am no expert, just saying this based on my own experience. Plain milk also makes traveling easier, for one.

8. I'd say no. S is 9.5 years old now and still doesn't drink/hasn't been given tea or coffee. One thing to remember is the more beverages they are exposed to, the less they will get used to drinking water. Water, in my opinion, is essential for their health.

9. I don't know. But don't you boil dairy milk too? That kills any germs that might still be present. If you are concerned about that, just boil the milk and cool it down everytime you prepare it for them.

10. I used to (and still do) give fruits to S when she was this little at all times. When ever she wanted them.

11. Yes.

12. Honey comes with a lot of impurities and is actually not recommended for children under 1 yr. or age. Since they are 2+, I guess you could give it to them, but I'd stay away from it at least during diarrhea. I can CAUSE diarrhea with its impurities. (That's what my daughter's pediatrician told me).

All in all, I think you are doing a great job. Don't fret too much about the nay-sayers.

dipali said...

Why all these doubts?

aargee said...

I feel you needn't worry at all with any of these and just do whatever you feel like and feed whatever and whenever your kids need. I really used to listen a lot to what others say and get confused , but now I just do whatever I feel like. Kiddo is 2 years and he still can't have food just mixed. I grind and smash everything. Else he throws up. Everyone is against me for doing it, but I just want him to eat and I am giving him time. Anyway someday he will start eating like us. So, everything depends on each kid and there is no particular rule when it comes to kids. Still, would like to answer some of your questions.
1. I guess mosquitoes are more attracted to black and I have noticed more mosquitoes close to people wearing black.
2. My doctor has told me from the beginning not to force feed. They will ask for food whenever they need. But with my kid, he can stay without food for even 5-6 hours..so I do offer and feed as much possible.
3. I guess the other should just keep quiet and shouldn't even care about whats happening around. And very important, the parent who scolds shouldn't kiss the kid immediately and wait for a li'l while for the scene to change.
4.I have heard that a kid should have atleast 500ml of milk for a day, which may include yoghurts too.
5. I don't know..sorry
6. sorry, can't help. me a vegetarian.
7. I was advised by a doctor to give horlicks when kiddo was just 1 year old. Right now kiddo is 2 years and I give him complan, as he doesn't like the taste of plain milk and I have to add something in it. But I feel once they are two they can eat whatever we eat and it wouldn't really affect them in anyway.
8. I have seen people feeding coffee and tea to kids, but personally I feed it is not good for health, but once in a while, a li'l bit would do no harm. Normally they are a li'l addictive things, so it is better to keep kids away from them.
9.Normally doctors recommend whole milk for kids. Kids shouldn't be given toned milk normally. I always give whole milk. It has got something to do with proper protein intake i guess.
10. No idea.
11. I feel there is nothing wrong in it. They used to say long back, that lettuce shouldn't be taken at night, as there used to be no lights in that zamaana, and lettuce used to have lot of impurities. Thats what I think, and this continued. But i feel they can be given at night.
12. I guess little bit of honey does no harm. Anyway not much idea on this too.
13. I feel they should eat how much ever they want and just the food at night doesn't contribute for sleep at this age. Now they are big and my kid even sleeps for 8 hrs after throwing up his entire dinner. So, it really doesn't matter. They should eat how much ever they want. Normally what I have noticed is that stuffing doesn't help, atleast with my kid. if he eats moderate, his growth chart is much better. when I over feed, all the food goes out as stool.I don't know if it follows for all kids though.
As for breakfast, I was advised by a doctor that they needn't be given as soon as they wake up and can be fed even at around 7.30-8 am depending on the time they wake up and I am always told that food should be given on demand, which I definitely didn't follow as there was no demand. But if the kids know to say that they feel hungry, there is no room for worries at all.
14. I still haven't started potty training as , if I remove his diaper, he controls pee and poop for more than 5-6 hrs. So, I am giving him little time and would start a little later. I am just waiting to put him in school so that he learns from other kids.
Infact I always look up to your blog to know more on potty training :)

Please don't worry about anything and just keep following your instincts. Please don't listen to what others say. YOU are their mom and you have all the right to do what you feel is right. I really did a lot of mistakes, trying to losten to what others say. Please follow what your doctor says.
I have just said whatever I know, and I don't know if what all I have said is 100percent right.. :)

GettingThereNow said...

Aargee: You are right that whole milk is recommended for kids under 2 years of age as their brain needs all the fat for growth. But you can get whole milk from dairy too, right? I am asking because I have no idea - been out of India for too long :P

How do we know said...

is ur ma or MIL visiting?

Jayashree said...

From everything that's on your blog, I'd say you are doing a gr8 job with the twins....Go with what you feel is right....
Neways, here's my take:
1. No idea.
2. Yes it is fine.....That's what happens with my daughter quite often.
3. Ideally, I'd say don't butt in....but it is very hard to remain objective when the kids are involved.
4.2 glasses of milk/curd/any dairy product is what my paed recommends.
5,6. Don't know
7. I give her both plain milk and sometimes mix bournvita/complan(natural)/horlicks with it...she's fine with alternating between these drinks.
8. Not sure if it is OK...but I've let my daughter taste a little bit of both.
9. Not sure....but I'd think that 'coz packet milk is boiled it should be safe.
10. I give her any fruit that she asks for at any time of the day.
11. Don't know....what's the reason for not giving it at night?
12. I haven't given her honey so far....but what I've heard is that it causes constipation.
13. As long as they don't wake up hungry, I s'pose it is fine....
14. It's definitely a good idea to get them used to the adult loo...but maybe seeing the potty and the bottle disappear at the same time is a little overwhelming for them. But hey, u r the mom...u know what's best for them. Don't let anyone else blame you/ tell you otherwise.

Itchingtowrite said...

hey thanks all for the inputs...

kid- i still hav not tried hot tea..for me only ice tea & coffee....that too laced iwth lots of lemon/ milk etc
getting there- actually after we stopped the bottle their water intake has gone up.. may be it is still not enuf?

dipali- becoz i run into an argument with people on all these issues- all collective over the last 2 years. why did u answer with a qustion. I would have lovd to have your perspective

argee- actually i am a little too fanatic abt potty training. maybe becozx i hav seen my brother nver give trouble on this and after around 1.5 years he never wet his bed...so i sort of used him as a benchmark. but my kids have givn me all th pain in the world on potty training... initially when we hid their seats, they did have afew accidents but now they are getting vocal abt going to potty

how do we know- ha ha ha bang on... actual mom visited for 2 months & MIL is back and you know how it is when the regular takes over after the temp has come and gone. both laies focus differently - my mom focuses on disciplin, neatness etc & MIl's only focus is food, food & food so obviously modus operandi was different. potty training / bottl removing was not effective all this while becoz the focus was not there..irrespecitve, the rest of the questions are put becoz I alwasy argue on these issues with hubby/ IL's / etc....

jayashree- for greens- I wasa told that the digestion dosn't happen easily at night. but anyway on is supposed to eat well in advance and get the food digested and then sleep. and I am sure iron is greenc cut out the acids.. and moreovr of iron content is the issue then so sud liver/ rajma etc not be eaten in teh night because the iron in greens are a) much lesser than the other foods & b) don't get absorbed by the blood strean as much as a non-veg iron does...

aargee said...

@ gettingtherenow: yeah you definitely get whole milk from dairy. Infact that's what i wanted to say that, whole milk from diary is better than powdered milk (i am not talking about formula here)

sorry to take your comment space itchingtowrite.

Itchingtowrite said...

aargee- you are wlcome. the comment space is intnded to be taken up!!and u know by now I love getting comments

Just Like That said...

Whew! That was an exhaustive list. :-)

Beverages are better avoided till 3, I feel.
Fruits are ok at all times.. and are healthier than most other snacks.
Have you tried using a potty seat cover? It was HUGELY helpful for Sonny boy. And if absolutely essential, you can also lug it along on long trips.

These were my 2 cents on some issues.. since you asked!

Itchingtowrite said...

JLT- do hav the potty seat cover but they don't like it so much. i think they are scared of the seat. actually in dec when i went to patna they were happily using the commode but suddenly they dont want to use it

the mad momma said...

oh wow. i have never thought abt all this.. lets seeeeee -

1. no idea
2. at no age should kids be forcefed. because then they dont learn to listen to their tummies and you have obesity type probs later.and i think bread, fruit, juice is fine. its still good food.

3. no no no. no intervening when the other parent is scolding. go out of the room under some pretext if it breaks your heart. that is what i do.

4. sure. i think lots of milk is good.

5. yeah - in winter its fine. we had hens in our house when growing up and on some days my brother and i would end up eating 3 eggs each - we loved to rush in and grab the eggs still warm.

6. i think so. fish is great for the brain.

7. well i think its a thin line. if ur trying to get them used to drinking from a glass - all bribes are fine by me!

8. i wasnt allowed tea or coffee till i left home for college.

9.i dont think its abt being pastuerised. the argument i have read is that cow's milk isnt as suitable for a child as formula because formula is designed for kids and cow's milk is for calves! that said, i give them cow's milk. i cant be bothered with formula.

10. any fruit i guess...

11. sure. why not?
12. no clue.

13. i think that is fine.

14.a lot of kids get irregular after age 2. dont blame yourself or the potty. its also partly that sometimes they are playing and they dont want to break up the game and go potty so they hold it back etc... its not all abt the potty the pediatrician tells me.

Itchingtowrite said...

MM- thanks!! on no 9, I was comparing the packet milk vs milk powder like amulya etc (i guess I confused the readers by not making it clear)

Itchingtowrite said...

actually on th emilk thing- they r ok with the milk taste per se... so i didn't want to top it up with boost etc... i don't want them to think that milk is yuck and needs to be made tastier. ... may be as a variety its fin but not making it a habit. and bing in teh food industry i know exactly what these bverags consist of and threfore i know whether my kids are getting it via other sources or not. so i am fine by not giving it

dipali said...

Basically go with your instincts and common sense and what your ped says for a specific issue! Your twins seem quite active and healthy and are growing well: keep up the good work.

Itchingtowrite said...

dipali- thanks for coming back and the vote of confidence