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Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Ojas Tejas Milestones

I debated on the play schools on this blog a few months back. I convinced myself that a play school is essential. I was going to go for the admissions last monday but sort of in a flash I decided that I don't want to send them off to school yet. More so because the school I zeroed upon will be God willing the school from where they will do their 12th Standard. We fell in love with the school. It has a sprawling campus, neat and well maintained, impeccably turned out and smart teachers (the Talwalker, VLCC types- I spotted a few I knew from the gym), pretty classrooms, and most important of all, a great stress on sports and performing arts, workshops etc. Perhaps I will be able to live my dreams via Ojas & Tejas. They will have options to choose from. They may have an alternate talent/ career to fall back upon incase they get tired of academic based career. They might discover a passion for some of the arts/ sports. In a way, I am making up for what I did not do at their age and how I regret it. I regret not having participated enough. I regret not taking part in all the dance programmes inspite of being a student of / diploma holder in kathak. I regret that the school master use to leave me out the few times I tried, on flimsy grounds because my dance teacher was his ex-student, then rival. I regret not being part of the big dramas & dance dramas. More than anything else, I regret never completing my singing lessons- once because the prssure of class 10 was too much to continue both singing, dancing & 2nd time because I was pregnant after a few months of classes. I want to ensure that the opportunity is given to my kids to choose whether they want to do it. I so wish that they will love sports as much as their dad does and performing arts as much as I do. I so badly want them to learn an instrument. Perhaps I will take lessons from them or together with them once they start. Perhaps one day I will be among the many mothers who are forced to cry out of joy or sorrow at live shows- Well, there I have said it. My most embarassing secrets. I have proved that I am a typical parent, trying to live through the kids. That I am no different from millions of other parents who try to seek vicarious pleasure and pride via their children's victories. I am just a common and an ordinary mother despite my so called modern thinking.
Dreams, aspirations, these are what keeps us going...hoping, guessing, praying and living for the future.
They would have done play school for 3 months Feb onwards and nursery from June onwards. No big deal if they stay at home for another 4 months.
Lots of new clothes were bought in preparation for the school. Money was readied and Nani was on the way to Chennai to support the first few months of school going. But this mom decided not to let go. She felt bad about forcing them into a regime. Since Mom has already readied them for school with all the bookch and puzzles and play doh, she felt that direct nursery will do as well.
I was very comfortable about sending them to this school becasue they encouraged me not to put them in diapers even if they are not completely trained. That really put a smile on my face.
Well, that brings me to another highlight that I can say that touch wood, they are 90% toilet trained.
A few months back, I was frustrated that they could communicate everything except the need to pee or poop. I read up everything on the net on potty training. I forced them, smacked them and cried at my failure. I devised my own motivational methods- I took prints of kids and kittens sitting on both child & adult toilet seats. It served academic interests but I am not sure they really took inspiration from them. I tried to force them on the adult seat. Tejas was still doing it on his potty but Ojas was adamant about constipating himself for the whole day until he was put in diapers or left to run free. He made it a point to soil his diapers everytime we were outside. He used to hide himself and do it on the floor and blame it on the dog. The trouble with twins is that if one of them does it right, your success rate is still 50%. If the other does not do it in the right place and time, you still end up cleaning the mess.
The beginning of shame at his BM. A sure positive sign so I fuelled it by saying - duggi, kakka, duggi should do it on the potty etc.
During out Patna trip, Ojas constipated for 3 days, had a few cursory accidents, but by the 4th day he was happily doing it on the adult potty. Tejas was comfortable, singing while pooping in the potty. Proud of his achievemnts.
I do not know when the transition took place. I missed noticing it altogether because it was sporadic and sudden and not always 100 success. Now they wake up in the morning and rush to their seat removing their shorts and pee in their potty, not in the kitchen or bed (their favourite spots). While playing, they remember to go to the potty with or without reminder. They sit on the potty when the feel the pressure and don't want to wash. They love sitting on the potty, I can imagine that soon a book will appear in their hands.
10% accidents happen, but nothing that is annoying me, well it is, when it happens in the kitchen.
They are still not out of diapers yet, when we go out for long duration.
Night time dryness in not achieved completely, but semi controlled. I wake up ever 2-3 hours to take them to the loo. And they go back to sleep after that. Only in the morning I have to give them the milk bottle in exchange.
If I was in a 3-bedroom apartment, it would have been the right time to move them to their own room as they do not wake up in the night.
So if any Mom out there is looking for some sure short potty training method, I have nothing to offer. I can only say that it just happened and no amount of pestering made them do it. Just hang on and watch for the signs to materialize. But, in a way, I am glad that this trying time is nearly over. The last lap and I will be done. Once they begin to express along with control I can take the diapers off.
The next milestone I am looking forward is to do away with the bottle.

8 comments:

Minka said...

Itchy,

totally unrelated to this post but listen to Aha FM ( don't know the freq ) at 8 PM . They've got nice hindi film music playing for an hour ( nice mix of old , new and everything in between !!!) . Yeah , you still got hope in Chennai ;-)

Karen S. said...

You need potty training rewards. THe audio and chocolate treats were powerful incentives to fully potty train our son. Here is the website www.pottytrainingrewards.com

Preethi said...

hey which school is this.. curious.. if I ever move back to Chennai I would love to know!! :) As for the potty training.. yay!!! Accidents will happen for a while yet... but will become more sporadic soon!! :) Night time dryness takes time.
Good luck with the bottle :)

Shobana said...

Yoohoo!!!! to the twins and to their Mom. Way to go guys and I will keep my fingers crossed and touch wood.

Also about music: Aaha fm(91.9) does have time for hindi music. You can check their website for time and for live radio.

Thinking aloud said...

you hav eyour hands FULL!!! good luck ...i can understand 'cos my sis has twins and they drive her up the wall sometimes...:D

Lavs said...

You dance, you sing, you gym and work and manage two brats….Hats off Lady….You have set such high standards for me…When I reach your stage of potty training, I would come back to this post to see how much I have fared….
My dancing was stopped during 8th std, one- because my dance master moved to another city and my mom did not have the energy to find another one nearby and two-my board exams were approaching:-Now with the little one on the way, I want the baby to become a dancer/singer and hubby wants it to become a famous cricketer!!!

Itchingtowrite said...

minka/ shobana- u r life savers- will check 91.9
all- thanks!!

Krishnapriyacr said...

Hi itchy...Loved talking to you. How did the Chennai gettogether go? Ah..you touched a sore spot with the potty training. Now that I am slowly getting back into action, potty training is beginning in my household too...and the success rate so far is 10%, ie, Kashyap goes 10% of the time in the potty and Kaustubh, never. In fact, he makes it a point to strain in the bogs and go outside and pee!! I really think I need to take some lessons too!!