Etiquette That Has Apparently Not Been Learnt

1. Before you visit my home, especially on weekends, ensure you call me and drop an obvious hint so that the kids are not caught in their birthday suit running around the house, or the husband in his shortest shorts or the Lady of the house in her filthiest nightgown with a broom in one hand and a messy house the subject of her muse because the maid is on a long leave. So that the lady is not scrambling to get a few snacks & drinks in order to be the model host. So that the family is not forced to give up or delay a dinner invitation or a movie plan on your account. So that you don't meet the locked door and need to call me back from wherever I am at the moment because I dare not upset you.
2. When you stay with me, ensure you do not pack your shoes inside my cupboard for fear of misplacing them. I have a working shoe rack that you can use.
3. When you use my spare cupboard, don't leave behind the stale smell of all the oils and powders and balms that you have spilled on the fresh paint without bothering to use a lining paper on it. The stains and muck you leave behind is also irksome for your information.
4. I absolutely forbid you to leave your stinking clothes within my olfactory zone, which is unfortunately very long range. You could wash them, use the washing machine or pack them in your bag or use the laundry bag, but not the chair or the bed or the cupboard.
5. Please do not finish the supplies and happen to forget to inform me for replenishing them. It sort of irks me if I open the veggie rack for my once in a while cooking and find a stock-out of the essentials of Bihari cooking- potato, onion.
6. You don't live here but doesn't mean you can leave the taps dripping (it's not your water I know) and the lights on in whichever room you go (you don't pay my bills so you will never know).
7. Don't even think about hanging your chaddis in my room for fan drying. I am not a great fan of handling other's undies and neither do I relish the episodes of them falling on my head.
8. If you want my car, ask me, not my husband, don't try to use him to influence my decision.
9. The dustbin is outside. You could use them for the diapers - your's and your child's. Or atleast ask me before you leave it under the basin for me to find out later.
10. Refrain from using my & hubby's coffee mugs for your morning coffee. I am kind of sentimental about them.
11. Don't leave your toothbrush in direct contact with mine. I wouldn't french kiss you anyday so why should my toothbrush do the same with yours. Why don't you use the guest bathroom for displaying your toothbrush? Why my private bathroom?
12. Try not to occupy the toilet when I am in a great rush to go to work- the guest toilet is there for you to use, remember.
13. Please don't occupy my kitchen during weekend mornings. I like my chicken exactly how I cook and I like my kitchen neat before I step in to cook for the day.
14. Don't stand on my head and wait till I get up to quickly occupy that favourite spot of yours on my sofa. There is plenty of space in my house.
15. You are free to watch any program on TV as long as it is not angsty for my kids. Also, if I am watching something and get up for a moment to stir the curry in the kitchen, it is good manners not to quickly, fatak se, change channels just because the TV is not in my line of vision. I kind of find it uncomfortable to change it back to my channel because you are the guest.
16. I will call for extra packets of milk or tea or whatever brand of snack you prefer for yourself. Don't try to say sorry because I need to do that on your account. I want to genuinely make your stay comfortable. Don't undermine my efforts by trying to buy grocery stuff/ biscuits on the sly. I really thought Goodday was better than Marie during tea time and would have gladly bought the Marie for your tea!
17. I really want to take you for shopping or dinner. Don't vehementaly refuse to go or fight to pay for the dinner. Return the favour to me when I visit you, instead of acting as if it is a big trouble taking someone for shopping.
18. Don't gift me exactly similar stuff that I gifted you when I visited. Kind of looks tit for tat, no favours kept, paying for board & lodging. If I happen to pay for something that is not too expensive while we were shopping, don't try to pay me back. I can afford a little bit of money.
19. Don't wake up at 12.00 pm according to the time in your time zone. Especially in a small house, the room you are using may need to be accessed by the household.
20. I don't always like to baby sit.

That makes me feel better! Catheritic