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Thursday, July 19, 2007

On Why is This Important to Me

Does it really matter? All this ho hulla over getting slimmer, losing weight and looking fit? Usha did a post on it some time ago. Honestly, sometimes I too feel like giving up everything and live to eat as usual. Why am I taking all this trouble? Why am I torturing myself with diet control and so many hours of workout? Why am I denying myself of all the foods that I love so that I could lose all those extra baggage I am carrying. Sometimes it depresses me and I wonder how much time more before I can fit in my pre- maternity trousers. I have talked to fellow gymmers and they have assured me of good results. And then there is this very fat guy whom I know who says I must not do diet control but only exercise. Sometimes it is a torture to wake up in the morning, slipping away silently so as not to wake up the kids, then worry in the gym about the kids- what if they wake up and look for me?

Well so what actually motivates me?
1. when I think of the wasted number of hours in trial rooms. Me moving slowly and steadily from a size M to XL and beyond. As if it is not bad enough that the Fab India guy keeps telling you loudly enough that Madam, you are looking in the Medium section.
2. I don't want to be called the fattest among all as MM said about someone who declared that it is official she is the fattest.
3. I recall how I could run the entire length of the train without feeling out of breath and tired (treadmill experience) - and it felt good to be able to do that.
4. I love clothes of all kind and it is a pity that my saris are wasting in the cupboard as the blouses protest when I try to get into them. Chiffons and georgettes are absolute no nos with the spare tyre around the waist. Not to speak of some very good trousers and skirts.
5. When I remember the looks people give me when they see my loaded plate. (somehow it doesn't matter if thin people eat lots- nobody laughs at their plate)
6. My rings were getting too tight to wear
7. I don't want to be known as someone who has gone over the hill mentally and physically after having the kids.
8. When I think of Madhuri Dixit after 2 kids
9. I imagine that once I reach the zone of ideal weight, how nice it would be to eat an entire bar of chocolate without worrying that my weight will go out of hand. (so all boils down to being able to eat, which I was anyway doing)
10. I am tired of sucking my tummy in at every photo opportunity
11. Last but not the least, the competition hubby is giving me- getting fitter day by day, I don't want to be called the perfect 10 couple, me the zero, he the 1!
edited to add courtsey comment of whatsinaname,
12. a client when visiting our premises said- let's not do the tour of the premises, since you are expecting, you may have difficulty walking around! That bad eh!! come to think of it, it was a chimmney calling the kettle black situation still it hurt....

And people, in deference to my torn ligament happened when I thought let me do that extra 5 seconds of grapevine on the stepper, last Friday, I am not posting on weight management for 2 weeks- the entire duration that I will not be gymming- proud to inform you this is my first sports related injury that I can sport!


SM said...

I identify Itchy! Specially when at Fab India I am told I am at a smaller section.
U tore a ligament exercising..I tore a ligament last week just sitting around, if that's possible. That's how fat I am!!

Collection Of Stars said...

:) You have atleast started..that's good. I know I need to lose weight but no inspiration yet :(

WhatsInAName said...

oh well !!!
Atleast noone asked you "how many months" ? :(

artnavy said...

that was a very well written post

u take care of that ligament and waiting to see u looking really cool in sleevless tops like u used to....

the mad momma said...

take care of the ligament.. weight will go slowly...


Rohini said...

I think you should just focus on being fit - eat right and exercise regularly. Obsessiveness about weight, I find, is never sustainable.

Moppet's Mom said...

Identify with most of your reasons - unfortunately, am way too lazy to move my butt and do anything about it! :-)

Tharini said...

I can totally understand all the lows and highs you are experiencing....for I am in the same boat.

The most important things right now is to heal well and get back to working shape. All elese is secondary.

Fuzzylogic said...

Ouch about the torn ligament! Keep your feet up and relax for now. The fitness embarking can wait:)

Usha said...

I am sorry about the ligament tear - get well soon.
The thing is to stay fit - don't worry too much about how thin you want to become and how soon. It will come.
I think one of the problems of western outfits is that every extra kilo shows.

Itchingtowrite said...

thanks all for the good wishes.. have taken a break from the gym and enjoying the relaxation

Asha said...

take care of the ligament and don't worry too much about the weight. it's always healthier to have your weight under control, but don't kill yourself for it.

Just Like That said...

Sorry about that ligament tear. Hope you get fit and fitter soon.

An not exactly fat, but my thighs!!! Size 30 will not get past my thunder thighs and size 32 is loose around the waist, and these days, trousers come sans belt loops, so can't tighten it...,

so am quite pissed, but yet can't make up my mind to exercise. i admire you for sticking to your gym routine.

Swati said...

Ohh ..I am just like you here..*sob* *sob* Difference is that I fitted back to pre pregnancy jeans and now I am gaining again after i stopped breast feeding ..donno why and how.

First time commenting here ..though i come often

lumi said...

I gave up long ago reasoning that my body is doing what it's meant to do so I take care of it by eating very healthy food, drinking lots of water, walking everywhere, avoiding alcohol and tobacco. So I may be fat, but I take care of myself, dress nicely, and don't worry what others think. Take care with the ligament, I tore one in my knee that ultimately needed surgery.