Milestone Post- 2 years 5 months

I like the determined expression on their faces. Taken at a time they were struggling to crawl I guess. We just discovered an old mobile phone pic...so excuse the poor quality.

1. The tables get turned

Tejas asked me for water and said first hand wash karo. Hands Dirty.

2. Opposite of broken, sleeping, tired, crying, is nice. If I say Mamma tired, they reply no, Mamma nice. If I say Mamma yoi yoi (roi roi- crying), no mamma nice.

3. They are pottying in the Indian toilet. I am waiting for the day they are able to inform they want to poop when we are outside. Thanks to my Mom's patience else we would have been using the baby potty still.

4. So also for their bottle. They drink milk in their glass and I am thankful to rid the bottle.

5. They can peddle the tricycle now, if they wish. Thy find it more convenient and fast to hit the ground with their feet and propel the cycle

6. They can indicate firmly "ho gaya" when they don't want to eat anymore. I have begun to respect their wishes nowadays. They even give their choice and it is usually opposite of what I have for them- will you have dosa? answer- No yoti (roti)

7. They love playing with the pots and sand in the garden.

8. They can carry out an entire conversation giving all details of the past 1 hour or so if one cares to decipher and connect. Example- car, ghummi, jeans, potty, Mamma yoi yoi- he went in the car and shat in the jeans and Mom cried in despair.

9. They insist on Thanda pani only- Last night Tejas asked for water and I requested Ojas to get watr. He asked me white bottle? I said yes. He went to the fridge, got the bottle and a glass for Tejas.

10. They can do the sticker book almost correctly. They also do a jungle scene jigsaw puzzle almost completely.

11. The time has come when they insist on shorts with pockets only. They need to store their cars or intresting bits of paper in them.

12. They went to their first Pizza Hut birthday party. They can explain they went to S's birthday party, ate Pizza and met Anushka- now since they know 2 An(o)ushka's, I am not sure which one they meant because they met neither.

Dress Code

Every grown up I have known laments about one thing from their childhood- their mother dressing them up alike inspite of their age difference.

Some of us used to like getting dressed up alike and some are scarred for ever for being made to do that.

A variation would be having the same type, design, material, embroidery but a different colour. So there is equality on all respects except for the colour.

My sis and I always had either of the above for choice. We never did hate being dressed up alike or similarly rather it made things simpler for my sis- she used to pick up the pair of what I would pick up for the day. Probably these things run deep. The last 2 times or infact the last several times we shopped togther, I found myself to be instinctively drawn towards whatever she picked up. This is either genetic or I rely on her fashinable instincts.

Anyway, I try to dress my double trouble as per option 2- same in all respects except colour or maybe pattern. Even if I don't do that, I always buy a pair either of similar style or price and pair them for every wearing occassion. So that similar ones get worn out at the same time and one doesn't end up feeling deprived if I have to discard one of the pair before the other.

But things are never so simple. Both want to wear the same colours and the same piece if possible. They manage to find differences in identical pieces also whether it is a dress or a toy or chaddi or pajama. They do have their favourite colours or pieces but I have faced many a meltdown for a particular colour or pattern. More often than not I get gifted identical pieces so I have a healthy mix of identical and similar for using on both kind of situations- when they want identical or similar. You will almost never find a situation when one is wearing a full pant & the other shorts or one is wearing a T-shirt & the other a shirt- despite my best efforts to make thm like different things at different points of time, I never succeed. So tomorrow Ojas & Tejas, do not dare to blame me and discuss among your friends that "Mamma made us wear same clothes everytime"

Identical

Different Colour T shirts, Identical pattern, Different colour cordroys, overall same

Same colour, similar pattern, overall same- T-shirt & identical jeans

completely different put paired at the time of purchase- same style, different color/ design, completely different unpaired pajamas

What to do when the Dad wants to copy the kids? Unless I do the same, I will be the odd wo-man out

Mandatory Stat Counter Post

1. To that person who wanted an Ad Analysis of Pond's Dreamflower Talc- You are in the right place. Please mail me. I forgot to magnify and check where you are from and stat counter has swallowed it up now.

2. To that person who wanted to purchase chakla bela (belan)- I could help you out too. My mom specializes in buying chakla belan of various materials and sizes.

3. To that person who thinks Tejas is a weird name- I beg to disagree, it is a beautiful name very close to my heart. All the Tejas of the world please protest.

4. To that person who is trying to find out why couples fight over cleaning- do come back, we could have a heart to heart talk and exchange of rants.

5. To the person who wants to know what to write in a baby book- well this blog is all about that. It is a complete baby book with an advantage- it is ongoing rather than ending after the babyhood is passed. For me, they are going to be babis right through so every milestone is important enough to be proclaimed to the world, not to stay in the hallowed pages of a baby book- hidden and tucked away in the book shelf.

6. There is someone who almost on a daily basis searches for "how to write a kissing scene" and lands up on my page- factual fiction- kissing scene. By now I am sure you would have realized that I do not specialize in these scenes.

On another note, the Kathipara flyover (that will make that Kathipara searcher land back on my page yet again) is open from yesterday- the Ashok Nagar- Airport Arm. Last evening I witnessed the sparkling serial lights on the flyover as I zipped under it. Last Sunday I had to go past the dreaded T Nagar and had a great surprise- a flyover coming up bang on the road between Pothys & 100 Nalli. Daring! Doing the construction among the teeming millions of shoppers. Wonder if the pavement shops will go to make way now. Another reason not to go shopping in T Nagar crowd now.

This morning I sort of passed on the years of oppression and punishment doled out by the sisters of my convent school. I got into a bylane and I saw a "sister" about to cross the road suddenly and honked and slowed down. She saw me and I assumed she would stop because I was very near to her and simultaneously I looked in the side mirrors to ensure no one was trying to overtake me from the sides while I took the right turn. In a matter of a second my eyes were back on the road and I was shocked to see the sister bang in front of the car blissfully crossing the road. Thankfully I stopped inches before her. Rolled down my window and gave her a piece of my mind- very politely though, the convent school baggage didn't allow me to be a shrew to her. I told her that had I hit you, I would have been in trouble inspite of the loud honking and warning I gave you. She replied with a smile, I thought you should have slowed down. Whaaaat! slow down when I am inches before the spot which you haven't even started crossing? I think it was too late for me to slow down.

Anyway, the encouter brought back some unpleasant memories -

1. I was pinched in my ear till I bled for not doing homework and went home and applied boroline. To this date I hate the smell of boroline- yes, yes, it is supposed to be a perfumed antiseptic cream but I prefer calling it smell as it does not conjure pleasant memories.

2. The same sister had remarked-"how people cut their hair" when we had my long hair chopped of into steps. Arre, what was her problem? Why did she have to comment in front of the big crowd and when I was at that age when such small insults leave a deep imprint in our childish minds.

3. The same one had told a group of us not to stand in the balcony and "try to attract boys" when a bunch of guys had come to our school once for goodness knows what.

4. The sisters had called us for a stay at school seminar in class 10 and it was actually sex education among other things without us or our parents being aware of it. We were not informed what to expect and it really confused and disturbed most of us at that point of time. I still feel while it was necessary, it could have been handled in a better and more sensitive and sensible way. (It was done right before the board exams).

I have infact good memories of school and most of the teachers. They used to be strict yet kind and we could talk to them openly. But the sisters were a specific breed and most of them in my time had their special brand of cruelty and a lower threshhold of patience. There was one who was a music teacher and she was a tyrant. I would expect a music teacher to be really soft and fun.

My favourite "sister" was the principal when I was in the junior section and she had a reputation of being strict but very kindly and very friendly with the students. When I was in KG, I used to always walking into the other section because that class-teacher was my neighbour. So she got me transferred to that teacher's section. I remember in an activity class I was asked to pour water from a bucket to another mug or something like that and I was too shy to do it. So that neighbour teacher punished me and sent me back to the other section. This sister noticed this on her rounds and promptly sent me back to the neighbour teacher's class. That to my childish brain was a very sweet thing to do and still is!
Anyway, my intention is not to be rude but just to highlight the impressions I had at that age. Now off course they seem to be inconsequential in comparison to what we deal with today. Infact when my kids cry for silly things, I lose patience. Yesterday I just told myself that these little things are their world at this point of time- that small rubberband or specific colour, the piece broken from the car, the particular color of toy, their books (this at any age is important and not to be ignored)..etc things that seem of no great consequence to me. But since it is so important to them, I ought to give each issue special attention and deal with them with empathy. Amen!(pun intended- contextual to the post contents)

What Gets My Goat

Control Freak, Perfectionist, Fault Finding...that I am. With time, I have learnt to let go, relax and let mess remain so.

I don't mind my house looking like this on most days unless there are visitors coming. This cannot be controlled with the kids turning my house upside down every moment...

But this can definitely be controlled...

But what really gets my goat ...

1. Dipping the index finger into the milk to check the temperature. Even if the hands are clean. One may say that we eat with the sam hands or feed the kids with the same hand but dipping the finger in the milk is neither visually appealing nor aesthetic.

Okay, how's this for an idea. Ask me for a glass of water. When I bring it, ask whether it is cold and I dip my finger into it to check and say yes. Will you drink it? PS- My hands were freshly washed with dettol. So hygeine is not a concern here.

2. Blowing into the milk to push the cream back before pouring it out. That too without brushing teeth in the morning. Is it so much of a trouble to use a spoon?

So I do the same thing with the tea or soup or any other hot thing before handing it out. What if some droplets of spit fall into it? I am clean and my mouth even if not brushed is clean.

3. Drinking straight from the bottle or the jug. Okay, okay everyone does it. Don't brush your lips against the bottle atleast.

4. Leaving the lights/ fan on in every room you peep into. Also the geyser. Hint Hint....think environment, think mounting electricity bills.

5. Finding a pair of slippers among the toys. What? it is not disgusting? With kids placing their hands on everything and then popping the same hands into the mouth?

Ok, next time anyone sits on the floor to eat, we will strategically place a pair of (clean) slippers right next to the plate. Goes well with the decoration, if not anything else.

6. Kids eating stuff out from the floor- Unavoidable, most of the time. But I do happen to own a broom in perfect working order.

7. Forcefeeding beyond a point. "Sheepishly owns up"- I am guilty of doing it sometimes. 8. Leaving dirty clothes all over the house especially the ones with piss in them. I happen to pay a hell lot of money to the maid just to keep those out of the way.

9. Watching calmly or ignoring when they are tearing off their books, even if they are cheap. It is hard earned money. I might be wrong but my opinion is that if we do not teach them now to treat things with care, we will never be able to teach them in future. It will become their way of life.

10. Leaving the sponge or scrubber in the sink among the dirty dishes.

How many of the above would you tolerate?

Which issue will be your battle?

You may win a battle but would you truly believe that you have won the war? There is absolutly no way you can confirm whether mandates are being followed. So what's the best way to deal with this problem?

Is let go the better policy? You know you cannot beat them so join them or remain a mute spectator.

House Husband

Yesterday K played the role of the househusband. And I give him 90% marks for his performance.

I give him points for

-keeping the house reasonably spotless

-Feeding the kids as directed

-Not having the TV on for a change

-Keeping the kitchen neat

And I give him brownie points for making snacks for me (actually he made it for himself and left some for me, but it was sort of nice to have him waiting for me for a change)

I deduct the 10% for -

-leaving the living room windows open in the evening- enabling some mosquitoes to enter the house.

-leaving the clothes on the line outside

-forgetting to keep the rice and rotis in the fridge

-allowing the kids to sleep without peeing therefore causing them to wet the bed

-allowing the kids for taking soap from the bathroom and spilling on the bed

-leaving the bed dirty and unmade after that

Well you might say atleast he did most of the things right, but my standards are high and since he measured up to them 90%, coming from me, it is a big compliment.

I give him bonus points for reading to the kids -Town Mouse & Country Mouse Sticker Book on Sunday night. This is the kind of moment I like to sit back and observe. I had to stealthily take a snap without waiting for them to pose else the moment would have gone.

We were gifted Storytellers from Bookbox by Hubby's relative S&M. The collection has 5 story books and a VCD with Hindi & English animated stories. The kids have not yet taken active interest in it but I loved the way they have made it. The narration is impeccable in terms of diction, accent, voice modulation and pace and the flow of the story very smooth. Lovely idea.

The Success Formula

We were driving past Murugan Idly shop on Elliots Beach and K commented on the large crowd of waiting people spilling on the street. This is how it should be! He commented. People must stand in line patiently waiting for entry to your place. Now what is it that draws people to such shops. He is selling idly. Something that any housewife worth her batter in Chennai can do.
I understand why Dhaba Express has a similar crowd. We don't get Punjabi / North Indian cusine here in every nook or corner- the butter masalas, naans and tandooris which normally one don't make at home. So it would be a good idea to eat them outside.
But this is idly and chutney and sambhar!
The guy next to Adyar Bakery on SP Road makes a killing each day - crowd of IITians mainly- he sells bhajjis and masala vadas and daal vadas. When I was pregnant I developed a strange fascination for it and bought a couple of vadas for myself. I didn't enjoy it so much though after going through all the pains of walking up in the crowd with K waiting impatiently in the car in the middle of the road.
The Qwiky's outlet in Ascendas food court makes Rs 25000 per day profit- selling coffee/ cakes/ croissants only- not even a complete meal. And the audience is captive- those who work in Ascendas or those who come there for food court experience- destination point. Not a place someon will select for a casual coffee or come there while you are at the beach. It is a destination food court and they are making a hell lot of money. It is not even a complte coffee lounge. Just a few bar seats round the counter is the atmosphere. Rest is shared as part of the food court ambience.
Or look at Pothys sari store in T Nagar (for that matter look at T Nagar itself - what a crowd on any day at any time)- The store is teeming with people even on non sale period. There are people relaxing outside after their shopping ordeal (I call it an ordeal- it really is), people get lost within the store, families get separated and it is impossible to get someone to service you. Yet the store is bursting with customers. And it is not a Nalli or a Kumaran mind you. It is mass market sari store with downtrodden prices-as low as Rs 60-100 per cotton sari.
Saravana Store, T Nagar- Another you blink and miss the rest of your family kind of store. Infact the entire shopping duration, my grandma and Mom could never find where my Grandpa & brother were lost when they returned to the store after parking the car. Infact if you are not looking you might trip and fall into the service stairway, it is narrow and steep and comes suddenly out of nowhere in th plastic goods section.
Spencer's Mall- Have you really purchased anything there- apart from at Westside/ Pantaloon/ Fab India/ Reebok/ Titan other branded stores. What pulls people like me there? We usually end up walking around and buying nothing except parking space for those 2 hours or a Subway meal perhaps.
Fab India- They are predictable, they fade fast, they have no range, no choice and are priced high. Moreover designs - there are no designs- only full sleeve, half sleeve or sleeveless and every level of sleeve costs Rs 50- 100 incremental. Yet they sell. Lack of choice especially in Chennai? Or brand value or brand image?
Grand Sweets, Gandhi Nagar- Another of those queue reaching the street kind of store- even on normal days- I have never made a purchase there because I have no patience with the queue and waiting time.
Anjappars and Ponnuswamys- Typical South Indian food restaurants that have families waiting outside always. Cheap and Holistic South Indian meal- non veg is the main attraction. These are not the hip Chinese places where you inevitably wait for being seated. These are down-to-earth crowded places where you end up sharing tables with another family.

Wonder what attracts people so much to these places?

Evolving Tastes

1. Dark is the new niche- in chocolates. And I have fallen for it - hook line and sinker- Hershey's Nugget Truffles with Dark truffle filling, Ritter Sport Dark Chocolate Mousse, Milka Mousse, Sainsbury dark chocolates with Almonds & Cranberry, cases in point here. So Dark & Bitter is the new me as far as chocolates are concerned.
2. Women's Horlicks- My first thoughts-makes me feel old. I need replenishment as opposed to maintenance. I said it aloud and now I feel, am I wrong in thinking that way? Do I need to get older to need it? Or do I take it now for the much-needed nourishment? How old is old after all to me who wants to stay young at heart all the while? What did you guys think seeing the Women's Horlicks?
3. Coconut Chutney- frankly I always hated it. After pregnancy in 2005 I have started loving it. What is wrong with me?
4. Pooran Poli- As a rule I always hated it. Why do I like it so much now? And the richer the better.
5. From Haldiram Aaloo Bhujiya to Nimbu Masala- my long time love has been replaced- why have they created an artificial demand by not keeping stocks all the time?
6. Centrefilled gums, Chewies and even mints- I am experimenting all the time as a part of my job and enjoying it. For a person who had never tasted centrefilled gums until after I came in this industry, it is a damn big change. Watch out for the fundamint& fundamint saunf fresh by Godffrey Phillips. Interestingly I tasted an amazing piece of mentos gum- full ice from Holland- sold in France- the black pack. One would never guess that the flavour is licorice. It depicts the entire experience of eating saunf (licorice and saunf has commonalities from a flavour point of view) - green, bitter and ends with sweet.

Things that Make Me Sigh with Pleasure

1. When I see Ojas & Tejas quietly playing or eating something with great pleasure, I just want to hold that moment, cherish it, not even talk lest I break the spell. It is not just simple happiness or glee or joy or even ecstacy, it is a higher level of pleasure, more spiritual maybe, which cannot be shared, cannot be expressed or cannot be spoken off. It needs to be felt. You thank your lucky stars and all the good deeds of your previous births and wonder how you managd recieve such a great gift. You cannot laugh or cry to express the pleasure, you can just sigh quietly and keep everything inside you.

2. A drive at a high speed but leaisurely pace on a traffic-less day. You savour the independence, you feel glad that you have your own set of wheels to ply you around, you relish the feel of the powerful vehicle, you love the smoothness, you enjoy the scenery even if it is just a panorama of other vehicles and passerbyes or open shops, and you are not in a great rush to reach your destination. Sometimes you need to drive to experience the entire bundle of pleasure. It is not just a drive where someone drives you and you enjoy the sceneary. It is the control and the feeling that the pleasure is entirely yours.

3. When I am witnessing someone else enjoying my kids- even if it is my husband. I normally cannot envisage that anyone else can love my kids as much as I can because they came from my tummy not anyon else's. I pull back and observe the scene. I don't participate at such times. I marvel at how somebody can enjoy playing and bonding with someone else's kids. I feel comforted that there are more people to take care of the kids. I am not alone in my love for them. We are linked with one strong emotion directed towards not each other but towards Ojas & Tejas.

4. A perfect meal in a perfect setting. Unhurried, relishing every morsel, stimulating conversation. It could be with anyone, a friend, husband, sister, parents, the kids. It is the experience more than the food. It is about how much we laughed and how much we enjoyed. Makes you wish the food was never over so that we could go on with our chatting and taking in the surroundings.

5. When I finish reading a lovely book. It may not be great from a story point of view, it may not be fast paced or thrilling but just leaves you with a nice/ bitter-sweet sort of feeling- Rebecca did that to me. The story sort of touched me even though it was a sad sort of plot.

Babies Speak Hindi

Ojas tells me- संभाल के pakdo

(hold me carefully)
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Me- Ojas give me kissie
Ojas- अभी नहीं (not now)
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Height of irritation
Tejas at 2 am when I am desperately trying to sleep and have ben trying to put him to sleep for the last 2 hours-
Kakka (potty)
I say get up and go, remove your pajamas
He goes to the door and I ask you want to go kakka
Tejas- No, susi
This goes on for atleast 3 times until I give up and slap him.
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Tejas insists that Ojas should put the pajamas for him.

Ojas- No Ojas tired. Hands टूटी (hands are broken, and rolling his head simultaneously as if he is fainting)

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Tejas asked me to search for his car. I asked him to look in the other room. Without even looking he says- नहीं है (it's not there)

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I give an excuse Mamma hands टूटी, give me kiss. Ojas gives a kiss. I tell Tejas you also give me kiss (to repair my hand).

Tejas points at Ojas - no kissie, हो गया! (indicating that Ojas had alrady kissed so the hand is repaired)

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Last night, for the sakeof doing something interesting before going to bed, I took out the sticker story book gifted by my cousin's wife D. It was a Mowgli story with 75 re-usable stickers. Only hitch is that the stickers don't stick back on the original location. I thought we will just read the story without messing with the stickers. To be honest I had thought the sticker thing to be a waste, thinking the kids at this age would hardly be able to connect and would tear the stickers or spoil them by folding and causing them to stick. But after I started reading to them, I thought what the heck and showed them that they had to match the illustrations in the story with the sticker on the sticker sheet. I showed them how to peel the stickers and allowed them to peel off themslves by peeling an edge for them first. I was frankly surprised that the kids were able to match the right sticker. I had clearly underestimated them. Initially I took pains to set right the stickers that were put crooked but on the right spot (another surprise for me). A page later thy were placing th stickers nearly correct. The only problem was that I was asking them to alternatly find and stick stickers and they would say very sweetly now Ojas then Tejas (will peel and stick stickers) but every time one took th chance the other screamed and rolled on the bed, especially Ojas. And they referred to Mowgli as Jungli and Baaloo as Teddy and the Wolves as Dog. So I am off to buy two things today- more sticker books (I have 2 more with me) and more Jungli story books.

Note- We were declared clean yesterday- my car passed the Emission test - one of the many things our office takes care off. It is annually organised in office as part of save the environment drive.

Foot in the Mouth Disease & Some More

Setting- the Day after my Wedding.
I am describing to the cousin & his wife an apartment we had almost finalised.
I was trying to compare this apartment loosely to their four-floored house.
"This apartment was similar to the ground and 1st floor of your house. Only difference is, this one was a duplex and yours is a fourplex (pronounced foreplay to rhyme with duplex)
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Setting- Sometime before my wedding
Going to be Hubby K sitting and talking with my kid brother inside the room. I am at the study table outside the room, in full view of only K.
K was passing rude comments on me in collusion with my brother. In reply I just raised the middle finger at him secure in the knowledge that only he could see me thereby not spoiling my image in front of my brother. The action got reflected on the paint of the door of the room. Kid brother quietly mentions- I saw that.