Yet another rant building

Parked at a strange angle an innova was getting the tyre changed. That wouldn't have been a problem f the innova chose to get the flat tyre changed right behind my parking gate which means I can't get my car ouyr for 9 whole minutes which results in a 10 min delay to reach school.

When I realised the car belonged to my Building I asked the driver for the flat no. He said a familiar sounding number which I committed to memory but a few minutes later I realised this was the mil's flat number..

And the same evening a neighbour finds a car blocking his parking entrance and the cheek, he had left behind the key and watchman asked. Him to remove the car and park the car.

The normally chillled out neighbour walked away with the key swearing to not give the key.
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TV

So I have been a mean mamma and unplugged the set top box.

Day 1- cribbing, TV Dekhna hai

Day 2- start looking at other things to do. Basically I pad. Also try to repair the Tv, search for possible connection hitches while my heart beats hard. As I have lied to them that the Tv does not work. It is so much easier doing that than be kind or honest.

Day 5 - start looking Beyond the iPad, drawing, messing, eating, playing, talking to each other, sometimes ask for the tv, reading, play the keyboard

Day 7 - no visible signs of missing the tv. Extremely busy doing projects like collecting and pressing leaf to make a fossil, not bothered about iPad.

I guess it is a vicious cycle. Ou watch tv, then you get addicted to things moving without effort and then when someone forces you to switch off, you use something else to engage you like phone or iPad and basically you don't want to actively use your brains.

Agreed the kids watch tv at MiL's home but they have kind of accepted that the home tv is not working and I believe that the amount of tv they watch with the mil is more than sufficient.

I am hoping one day they will stop depending on tv at all for their entertainment,
Until now it served a purpose. It helped them learn beautiful Hindi and sometimes they make he dumb useless things that mr maker makes. But apart from them it was plain idiot box.

And honestly, it is easy for me because I don't watch tv. I do miss looking at the news but then if I watch, my kids will want to watch. There is a flip side but I am living with it.

Sent from my iPad

Reading

I always say God played a cruel joke on me. He raised my hopes in the beginning that my kids love books and suddenly last couple of years they didn't want to look at books at all.

Much to my despair.

However last week, I noticed that

Ojas was busy reading a newspaper.

And that he was forcing me to buy a goosebumps book.

He waited patiently till last Saturday and there we were at the shop and both kids spent a good 20 minutes selecting the titles they wanted plus asked for Geronimo books.

I really thought they wouldn't read but they were reading them. Largely it is psychological presence of the book but I can still hope now....

Let me not count my chickens too quickly though.

Sent from my iPad

Huff Post

So I was part of the panel discussion on Huff Post today. the topic was based on the recent article

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/karin-kasdin/chinese-parents-sue-children-for-not-visiting-enough_b_2468526.html

Could you sue your child for not visiting you enough

I got an invite to be part of the session via a google plus link and there I was in the studio, joining the debate with people from US from their homes via webcam and on the phone. Since the iPad audio was not very great, I was also on the phone and while I could see myself on the TV screen, my voice was being taken from my phone.

I was the first one to go live and also the last speaker and Ihad a great time being live on air and I didnt look too bad too considering it was 3 am and I had hastily done my face and hair a few minutes ago and I was surprisingly alert at that hour in the morning. 

A first for me!

Catching up

With the news
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Jugaad

I asked Tejas to step on my heels to ease my foot ache. He tried, then stopped to put a pillow on my feet then stepped on the pillow.

Me- why did you do that?

Tejas- for better balance.

And he was right.
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Fear

Ojas, coming back from Cricket- Mamma, why are the lights off (in the living room)

Me- just like that, why do you ask

Ojas- Don't keep it off, I feel you have gone somewhere. 

Another flip for a working mother.

Role Play

The other day Ojas was having a tantrum. He wanted Tejas and their friend R to play cricket and allow him to bat throughout. And that is a tall order but in all fairness the two did not let him bat the previous day so he wanted a compensation.

While Ojas may be right, but one cannot force the others to comply so I did a demo for them.

I told R & Tejas to do a role play.

I prompted R on what he should speak and Tejas was allowed to freely react to what R was saying.

Act 1

R- Can we play cricket 

Tejas- Yes

R- (shouts)- I want to bat only.

Tejas- shouts back- No, i want to bat

Act 2

R- Can we play cricket 

Tejas- Yes

R- politely- Will you let me bat please

Tejas- Yes

This simple exercise helped Ojas understand how to deal with the situation. And also that only he is responsible for how the other person behaves with him.

On Rudeness

The last time I checked, I wasn't declared deaf. 

So why do people think it is alright to come and scream at my door step.

I spoke the last time about some characters that have crawled out of the woodwork in my building.

Today one such character comes screaming for me...is someone there at home.

Now this really alarmed me and I came rushing out notwithstanding my sprained foot.

She was agitatedly speaking on Tamil. As per my new year resolution, I plan to be zen and not get into arguments,  so I said slow down, and speak in English. 

She blames my children saying that I saw then hitting my child. So I asked my children what happened.

She says, don't ask them I saw them hit.

I apologised and she went her way and I tried digging further and the kids, all of them said my kids have not hit, they have just chased them because the girls were coming in their way disturbing their badminton play.

So I am not sure how that woman saw them hit her child, who actually doesn't hesitate to push and shove her own friends.

As per my new year resolution, I also plan not to take any crap from sundry people, so I called that lady's father. Tit for tat. She reported my children's so called bad behaviour to me so I report her bad behaviour to her father who is the resident in the building and a nice gentleman.

I apologised for my children's behaviour and at the same time expressed my feeling that it is not right for his daughter to come and scream at me because the children are quarrelling, I am not sure what prompts people to come and scream at other people's doorstep.

I am seriously appalled at their behaviour and wondering why the tolerance level in our building has suddenly become very low. 

And since when did mothers start interfering in children's fight. I don't remember my mom doing it and neither do I remember me doing it. My children were born and brought up in this building. They are the only ones whose milestones from birth has been celebrated here, and the residents have seen them grow up from birth. Some of them have seen them right in the hospital just a few days after their birth. In short, they have been woth us in our most precious moments. I would have a special place for children who have been born in front of my eyes.

Hey have been at an age where they were likely to be hurt by older children playing and I have taken care to steer them away and asked them to play in a corner. 

Today it is there day. They are old enough to lay right in the centre of the compound and I only wish that mothers who fear their children will be hurt may lease steer them slightly aside instead of blaming my children unnecessarily. 

On Afternoons

I love weekend afternoons.

When the home is quiet.

Breakfast, lunch etc are done with,

The maid has left after leaving the home spick and span. 

The kitchen is silent and clean.

The kids are playing at the cricket ground. On one hand I miss them and on the other hand the ears are confused everytime children shout while playing.

And I am free to read, blog, play the keyboard.

What is your favourite part if the day?

Keyboard Classes

And updating on the keyboard class,

I have learnt Pehla nasha and Kuch kuch hota hai. I need to practice very hard.

Yes, we are not doing classical but we are doing light music. I have learnt from my mistakes. Singing has to be enjoyable rather than regimental.

The kids are learning nursery rhymes, jingle bells etc and I find them better in handling the tone, rhythm etc for each of these as they love to explore the features unlike me.

The husband is on his own trip, learning from the internet and I dont want to admit but he is pretty good at it.

I tried a few online video lessons on training to play by the ear but was extremely disappointed. Will have to look for better ones.

It Takes So Little

To motivate the children.

Last night Ojas proudly displays his cursive writing while doing his home work. He volunteered to do his home work in cursive. He says English Mam said she will give prize if we write in cursive. And even Tejas got caught up in the enthusiasm.

No amount of coaxing had worked at home. A word from the teacher and it makes a world of difference.

Or was it a promise of prize?

Or because everyone agreed to do it even my children were motivated?

Nevertheless, I am doubly convinced that the school has to push the children because we parents have only a limited time with the children and they spend more time in the school comparatively.

Beware the Blogger Observes- in the Gym

1. Last one hour on the reclining cycle, cycling extremely slowly? why do you come at all?

2. Fake smile plastered on your face while doing EFX? Dont worry you will soon be panting for breath while doing treadmill. There, I told you so.

3. Have you come to the gym to exercise or to gossip as if you are at the nukkad? We dont want to hear your horrible voice in the background.

4. Excuse me, there is enough space all over the gym to lay the mat. Why do you have to squeeze in like sardines in such a way that my knees doing butterfly stretch will knock into your sides .

5. Will you like get up from that machine. Others need to use it too.

6. And while you do that, please wipe off that sweat from the machine.

7. Do not stand right next to the bar bell holder. How will others go to retrieve them for themselves.

8. Can you please wear the gym shoes once you are inside the gym and not wear them from your home.

Fooling Mamma

While doing the read aloud from their school book.

Ojas midway begins to read from a story book and I didn't even realize.


We did the Skeletal system just before sleeping.

I was shifting Ojas in his sleep and he mutters, Cerebrum.

I ask, what does it do?
Ojas- protects the brain

I am glad the limbic system works even while sleeping!

A Little Concern

That the kids do not write cursive. They write individual letters of a word. I clearly remember writing in cursive at this age.

Wondering if there is a lack of focus on developing writing skills and that got corroborated at the school. They say it will come automatically.

I had a long chat with some of the teachers and I have expressed that I cannot be expected to focus on cursive writing in the limited time I have as a parent with them. I mean they spend 8.30 to 3.00 pm at school which is a major part of their life. The school needs to build the foundation on which their life skills will be based. I would rather that  they teach only  70% but make it solid rather than pushing for 100% with no foundation built.

Now if there is a handwriting problem, we need to practice but certainly if the entire class refuses to write their assignments in cursive / joined writing, there seems to be a problem I would believe.

How is it at your end?

Height of Show Off

Mom telling me that the baby photo of my child (that's me) looked better than the baby photo of your child (that's Tejas)

Adventure in Lenses

I realise that after 3 plus years of wearing lenses, I have had all possible misadventures with them.

Apart from taking ages for my eyes to get used to the idea and therefore many red eyes and scratchy eye days later, by the time  I finally got the knack of doing it right, 3-4 months were already gone .

day 1 when I was wearing them, Tejas dipped his finger into the lens case and walked off caryying the lens stuck to his finger. He dropped it on the floor in the living room and I spent frantic minutes looking for them. 

Then I had my first misadventure. Constant red eyes. For a span of a month almost. Every 15 days I would valiantly attempt using lenses and they would get infected again. Many drops of Vigamox (my magic potion henceforth) and refresh tears later I finally got cured, never to take eye infections for granted. Especially because spectacles do not suit me at all!

Of course there was this mysterious lens falling while applying and I cant find it therefore wore a new one. By evening I found it stuck on the cupboard door.

Then there was a day I went to Mumbai and since  had slept on the flight I decided to refresh my lenses, rinse them and wear again. To my horror, I could not locate my lens in one eye. I scratched my eye balls out in vain only to realise I  must have dropped it while wearing. 

After that, I never wore lenses early morning while travelling. Always after reaching the destination. 

I have instances of the lens edges cut off in a neat half circle at the edge or lens edge tearing off or just disintegrating for no apparent reason.

I have also managed to wear my lens reversed and gone about doing my work wondering why it is bulging outward. 

I also learnt a lesson, never to talk while wearing the lenses and especially not to argue because I assumed I wore my lens until I reached more than half way to office and realised my vision was blurred in one eye. Of course the lens and fallen and got stuck onto the freshly painted cupboard.

And just yesterday, I removed one lens and filled the left lens case and shut it. In the dark of the night I rubbed my eyes because of discomfort and was wondering why do I feel as if I am wearing my lens. I shut my mind up saying of course you removed the lens. And this was one of day that I did not wash my eyes immediately after removing the lens as I was called out by someone. 

Morning I woke up feeling tired and I looked in the mirror to check if my eyes were red and to my shock I see the outline of my lens on my eye ball. 

No wonder my dreams were clearer last night!

But  as they say, every event is a learning but I could do without these crazy learning experiences. 

Blast from the Past

Is the resemblance obvious?

Raja Mantri Chor Sipahi

The game has been introduced to the children and the duo with the duo twins play it with great gusto.

It is very easy to pick out who is the chor because the chor is the most interested in knowing who the police is.

But, the rest 3 will all raise hands to say I am the chor I am the chor to confuse the sipahi.
Of course the one with the least enthu is the chor.

And they have already begun to identify the marker that develops while playing on the outside of chor chit and they try to avoid it while picking up.

Doesn't cheating come naturally to humans?

And while we are at it, any one remembers the rules of the game

I declare war against (country)

and

Shoe

Beware the Blogger Observes - Apartment Complex Woes

Unfortunately in the last few years, a few characters have sprung up in the apartment complex who used to be dormant all these years. If they were not so annoying, they would have been hilarious and would have provided a lot of entertainment value but since some of us are at the receiving end of such behaviour, it is not funny at all. Considering that we have to live here for the major part of our life.

Here I make the list of behaviours I found annoying and you be my judge...

1) I am not sure where you got the notion that if a kid's ball falls in your much neglected garden, it becomes yours. Would you take the same view if let us say accidentally I drop my bag of trash in your garden. Will you embrace it with as much alacrity as you do the ball. And what the hell are you going to do with that huge bag of balls that you have stored in your house. I am not surprised a kid called you a robber (mine if anyone is wondering)

2) so now you of all people want to organise Republic Day celebrations. When the last 8 years, you have never joined the flag hoisting even, forget celebrations. You were so disrespectful towards the flag that you would walk off in front of it without caring to stand for them2 minutes he national anthem was sung. You used to watch the movie screening from the reverse side hanging from your balcony but not deign to come down and join we lower mortals. 

3) it is all very well of you to blame the first person you see, that is me, for leaving the lift door open. But did you once think that I live in the ground floor and therefore I do not need to use the lift. And neither do my maid since you then decided to blame my maid too in the same foul breath. By the way. I have her your s,all time actor daughter and wife both more quarrelsome than you, hit you the other day. Is it true?

4) everytime the new association sends the minutes of the meeting, it is not essential for you to praise them to high heaven trying to put down the previous committee. For your info, the online facility was set up by that same previous committee whom you are trying to insult.

5) I am not sure that keeping a manager for 3 times more salary and no extra benefit for residents is a smart thing to do. And if you really believe that it means no extra cost to the residents. Just think again. Long term.

6) so now my doing woodwork at my own one is a source of problem. Did you forget the time you were doing our woodwork. And I have been very decent about your washing dripping over my head and garden and the sari covering my balcony on a sunny day cutting my source of light or your kids' underwear that falls in my garden and gets mixed up with my laundry or your kid peeing from your balcony on my garden  or your wife scraping coconut from 6 am in the morning on her kitchen floor and giving me the creeps. And not to forget that your A/C drips on my A/c and creates a lovely rainy noise every day  and then messes up my plants as they get a more than their fair share of over watering.

7) ok I asked you to remove your pots from the parapet on the 2nd floor. Doesn't mean that you should ask me to remove mine from my garden parapet. 

A) the garden parapet belongs to me

B) one of your said pots fell from the top in my garden space, breaking my lovely terracotta decor. Well I thank my stars it did not fall on any of us. And I am not in a mood to experiment with that possibility. And yes, I have not forgotten, you quietly cleared away your broken pot without even apologising for the damage it did to my decor or the potential damage it could have done. 

8) is it necessary for you to practice car driving in the complex compound to take revenge with the parents whose kids play in the complex. 

9) remind me again why you have a problem with ladies sitting and gossiping in the complex

10) that small space between two cars parked at right angles is not a parking space. I repeat. NOT. It is a passage. Also the place outside the gate half way covering the back of my car is not a parking space.  And your parking space ends at the yellow line. Do not cross that line while parking. If you are so interested in my space, you are most welcome to exchange. 

11) you cannot stick notices on the freshly painted walls. Especially when you want to anonymously call for a meeting to discuss a certain set of people. Don't you think there is a danger of those people arriving at the meeting spot and then your identity will be disclosed? 

12) no that is certainly not the neighbour's clock that is too loud for your comfort. It is a church bell. 

13) association cannot investigate why your electricity bill is high this time. Don't you remember he slab rates got increased. And no the guy who gets your meter read or submits your electricity bill is also not to be blamed. Check with your high maintenance wife who keeps the a/c on all day long.

First Post of 2013

It has to be resolutions..

Weight Loss- eat healthy, gym effectively, focus on interval training, yoga, pranayam, surya namaskar, variations in exercises. 

Keyboard- continue and practice hard. And get the finger movements perfect.

Quality time- with the children. Make a timetable for them and follow it meticulously. Read a story everyday to the kids. I really want to do this one activity without fail.

Read- as usual and more than ever. This is one mindless activity I am allowed to have even though at times I feel this is an activity that doesnt help me gain something tangible because i never read the so called intellectual book. Pure fiction. It is one activity that has been my first and only love, something for which I always find time and excuse to pursue. Without fail. In fact if I don't have my reading time even a single day, I get very very cranky.

Write- or rather blog more. Just a way to collect my thoughts together. Blog even if no one seems to be reading it especially considering the lack of comments. I just hope I make a difference to some reader out there. 

Dress - better. No sloppy days at all. It is particularly difficult with Indian clothes I feel. The stitching is never perfect. There has to be some thread lose or a button threatening to fall off. I have to discard those clothes that show even a little bit of those signs. 

Time Management- since I decided not to go ahead with keeping a cook considering that the same doesn't justify with the little amount I need to cook and the additional headache of dealing with absenteeism is not worth it, I have to compensate by running a tight ship even if it makes it seem regimental. I want to keep it simple and stupid all the more and reduce too many steps or complicated processes in a single activity. 

Discipline- particularly the kids. I have a long way to go but I need it done my way now. Whatever mess they make, they clean themselves. No matter how much time it takes. The effort of disciplining them have been so tedious that I have been picking after them all the time. It is not  going to work anymore. It is not sustainable at all. The fact that Weekends are regimental has helped in a way. They barely have time between classes to make a mess in the first placeband all of us are driven by the common goal. But before I get too happy, it hardly takes them five minutes to create a most wild, blood pressure raising, screaming fit enducing, migraine triggering mess in their room and beyond. 

Declutter- without mercy. Without emotions. The last round of toy chucking has really simplified my life. Even of I have space u have decided not to cramp every available space with toys. And all logistical nightmare toys to be thrown far away but not before I note the name of the item down so that I can gift similar item to the persons who gifted that to my kds. Seriously. Who gifts battleship to monsters like my kids?