Idiot Proof Guide to Using a Mosquito Bat

Man to shopkeeper- I want to return this mosquito net
Shopkeeper- Why?
Man- The entire night I waited, not a single mosquito got trapped inside.
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What is a mosquito Bat?

It is a tennis racket type of device (not a bat) which is powered by batteries or is rechargeable and no...it does not attract mosquitoes on its own- one needs to swat around the vicinity of the mosquitoes and they come in contact with the circuit and die making a fire cracker kind of sound.

No kidding, I did imagine that the mosquitoes will get attracted to it if the so caled bat is placed near the bed and die because what is the point of having a device if you need to hunt mosquitoes with it.

So the first night of buying the aforesaid "bat", I left the bat switched on helpfully and waited for mosquitoes to die with a crack. I bravely left the windows open because- ab koi dar nahin!

To my dismay I spent the entire night odomos-ing self and the kids and killing them mosquitoes that came near me. Woke up next morning fuming. Thankfully happened to mention this to my neighbour and she quickly corrected my perception of the workings of a mosquito bat. One word 'Hunt"



How to Use a mosquito Bat?

Move the switch to the on position and wave the bat in the vicinity of curtains, hanging clothes and other mosquito haunts, pressing the button. (the crucial words- pressing the button).



So the next day I was very excited. I became the mosquito hunter and went behind these blood suckers pressing switch 1 and switch 2. No success. Mosquitoes sailed past me and I waved the bat around them. I placed a dead mosquito on the coils (that had died while I swatted at it with bare hands in sheer disgust) and no prizes for guessing that it did not spark. I was convinced that the bat is faulty and the next day I went to the shop to exchange it.



The shop guy looked towards the general direction of the sign- NO EXCHANGE, NO RETURN and muttered no guarantee.

I said loudly, but I bought it only previous day and even the dead mosquito did not "die" on it.

The shop guy said-wait madam, I am checking.

He used the tester and the effing bat sparked. I was shell shocked. Then I saw he has not switched on the switch 2- so I asked him - so we have to swat without switching on switch 2?

So he says- this switch is for the torch and you need to switch the switch 1 on and press this button on the side while swatting at the mosquitoes!



So how really should the mosquito bat be used?
I repeat, switch the first switch (not the torch switch) to on and press the button on the side while swatting at the mosquitoes

Precautions?
Do not touch the coil while the switch is on or while charging
Stow away the charger plug while not charging else you may get a shock if you are touching the plug and the coil portion
Do not hit the bat on any object else the bat may spoil
Keep away from children
Keep away from a swatter as he may accidentally hit you if he sees a mosquito buzzing near you
Warning- swatting mosquitoes with the bat is extremely addictive. Use it with utmost discipline just before going to bed and if you do not have netlon on the windows then keep the windows closed unless you are prepared to wake up in the middle of the night and swat away.
Keep it away from you when you have visitors or in the middle of a conversation your addicted hubby might get up and start swatting mosquitoes. Infact it is so very addictive that you might actually swat with it outside your home and be tempted to do it for the neighbours' homes and the entire building too!