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Friday, October 27, 2006

Other Than Normal Types of Eaters

1. Frog/ Conveyor Belt type- Sticks the tongue out, places the food on it and pulls the tongue back
2. Shovel type- Places the food with the spoon on the tongue, turns in the spoon at the same time pulls the tongue inside in such a way that the spoon hits the teeth and makes a clinging sound.
3. Cricketer- makes the food into balls and throws it into the mouth. Surprisingly, never misses the throw
4. Serial Killer- eats each item in the plate one by one. Will not proceed to the next without finishing one item
5. Mass-a-Chews-ates- will mix everything en masse’ and eat. Noodles, pulao, paneer, peas..etc – does not believe in course by course eating
6. Embarrassment of the Buffet- will pile the plate with everything available – does not believe in seconds as is afraid that the food may get over or does not want to stand in the queue again
7. Angrez ka Nana (pretends to be English gentleman)- will not use the hands but only spoon/ knife/ fork to eat- even the finger food
8. Apna Haath Jagannath (Literally means own hands are god- basically meaning self-dependant)- will use only hands no cutlery
9. Fist Filler- will fill up the fist with the food press them together hard, make it into a ball and then eat- may be feels that the food will fall off on it’s way to the mouth so secures it by tightening I into a single piece
10. Diligent Student- completes the course- will not go for seconds without finish the entire food on the plate. And then will serve the entire spread again such that on may think that the person is on the first helping
11. Lick them clean- one will never know that the plate has been used- it will be licked clean like new
12. Debris of Construction- the plate will look like a construction site- so many leftovers haphazardly placed on the plate
13. Organising committee- waste arranged neatly on the plate
14. Orchestra Member- Makes lot of noise with the cutlery
15. Lick, Slurp, Gobble- Makes a lot of slurping sounds wile eating
16. Knead, Collect & Eat- cannot lift the food with the fingers, uses the whole hand to make a kneading like motion, thereby lifting a large quantity of the food – especially if it’s a combination of gravy and solid food.
17. Slide and Pick- Uses the edge of the hand, - the end near the little finger- to push the food to the corner of the plate and pick it up
18. Finger in the pie- not well versed with the spoon/ fork- will sometimes push food on the spoon with the help of the left index finger
19. Drip Drip Drip- the gravy will drip from the hands toward the wrist and will be licked clean in one quick swirling motion of the tongue
20. Unknown Stranger- the pile of food will be so high that only when the person is half way through and the pile of food has come down, his/her identity will be revealed to the fellow eaters
21. Early to bed but Late to rise- 1st to start and last to finish- either very slow or eats too much
22. Fast & Furious- will eat in top speed – even if is the last one to start, will be the first one to finish
23. Gobbler- Does not believe in chewing

25 comments:

Anonymous said...

lol.
I would be no. 4+18+20+22

Twisted DNA said...

Haha. Good list! You ae quite and observer :)

What category I fit into depends on what food I am eating. If the food I am eating is something I love, I would fall into all categories ;)

Appu said...

i am 7. Angrez ka Nana (pretends to be English gentleman)- will not use the hands but only spoon/ knife/ fork to eat- even the finger food

even the south indian meals find their way to my mouth via the spoon. somehow i dread using my hands. :)

Inder said...

nice list :)

The Perfect Brewing said...

Wow ! that was a very good light hearted one. Makes me guess my number... Ummm !

artnavy said...

5&6 - u know me
missed u - had chocolate truffle & pizza today

Orchid said...

Now why would you put so much thought into this ? :) and see, you left out the picky toddlers..they are the worst, they simply won't eat, much to the misery of us moms...any names for that??

Anonymous said...

so, wait, what is normal then???
;-)

Mass-a-Chews-ates - AWESOME! reminds me of a parody video in which Bush spells the name of the state this way.

Your lists are highlight of your blog :)

starry nights said...

Made me laugh, I think you have been very observant. Can identify with few. thanks for sharing. was really humerous.

Anonymous said...

ppl tell me i look horrible when im eating .. hope im not a nine though .. :P

mommyof2 said...

LOL!!

vibhor said...

when i was kid my plate always look like a debris of construction...
wont like to eat choped onions and tomatos in the meals and always got scolded by my papa for this..
now my small daughter repeats the same thing and i have to promise her so many things for making her eat everything...

Trauma Queen said...

hahahaha
man ur totally good at research rnt u? ;)
i guess im category 21 :(
the advantage beingyou enjoy your food and chew it properly :)

Cloudy Musings said...

A good list....
I can't really pin-point my category because it depends on the atmosphere & the food i m eating :-P
What's ur category itchy ?

Ashish said...

I'm embarrassed, but methinks I would be 6 + 12.
I do not like people who do 9.

How do we know said...

he he.. like all your posts.. was very entertaining.. i really envy bloggers who can create such effective word pictures! :-)

Anonymous said...

guilty of a lot of the above

itchingtowrite said...

aashun- welcome. nice blog u hav got..liked your verses
TDNA- thanks, good u r discriminate, anyway food is enjoyed best when one is confortable with the method of eating
appu- how abt bread?
inder- thanks
perfect brewing- welcome, u hav a nice blog which I need to read thru
orchid- ha ha may be pick & drop variety... whatever they do they r adorable
@- anything that's not one of these is normal
starry, mom of 2- thanks
isha-- ha ha , ask ur friends. thanks for coming
vibhor- nature's way of getting back at us on behalf of our parents!
trauma- yes and u can be part of the conversation of 2-3 groups of eaters esp in office
cludy- i am too a combination of many...depending on teh food and time.
ashish- i hate 9 s too
how do we- thanks
la vida i guess most of us are going by the comments. depending on the situations

Phoenix said...

Hilarious stuff.. my sides split laughing.. I am 2. My grandma is 5+3+9.

Life Lover said...

LOL :) Good one!

Anonymous said...

LOL!!! nice one :)

Anonymous said...

mehehehehe...

Noodlehead said...

rotfl! i think i'm 7+22 :))

Rio said...

hahhaha! good fun reading this one :) keep up the detective skills :)

Anonymous said...

lol...now that doesn't leave anyone in 'Normal type of eaters'. or had u been kind enuf to ignore the lucky ones happily eating away to glory;)??? Me the 21 type - n am so embarrassed now:D!