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Monday, October 09, 2006

End of a Chapter

How does one feel when one is in the process of ending a relationship?
Or when one is courting outside the current relationship?
How does one go about searching for the right one during the illicit courtship?
The clandestine meetings that happen to size up the other party. How one goes about fixing the right place and time so that either party is not caught off-guard.
And if the courtship does not end in a new relationship, how do they back out and ensure that the secret is not out? Is either party at ease after that?
And once a deal is final, how does one go and inform the home turf that the relationship is off?
What happens just before one is actually going to end it all? What are the thoughts the few days before? How should I say it? Shall I leave a letter? Whom shall I say first?
Once the deed is done isn’t there a strange empty feeling? Or a feeling of elation of breaking free? Being in a no-man’s land with no responsibility or accountability until the day one begins the new relationship?
How does one go about packing up the belongings? What should be taken, what should be thrown away and what should be handed over? Should one leave instructions behind? How does the current “partner” carry on without the one who is ending it up? Does one feel a responsibility towards it?
Yes folks, I have ended a 7.5 year long relationship this morning. I always thought it was easy to end it all and used to advice my friends who were unhappy, to go for a change. But when I am the one who is taking the plunge, I have realized that the decision is not so easy. You have to think the pros and cons of ending a chapter of your life. Will the new relationship be better than or even as good as the current one?
On my part, I have invested more than 7 years- that is a little less than a quarter of my lifetime and the 2nd longest institution I have been attached to – the first being my school where I spent 12 years.
This morning I have resigned from my 1st job. During the courtship phase I have experienced a gamut of emotions ranging from the high one gets after a dare-devilry to the guilt of not being true to the current relationship. And since I am moving within the industry, the stakes of courtship have been high. What if things had not materialized and I were “caught” before that? Or”caught” after that too?
I do not know whether I have taken the right decision. I am going by the oft repeated adage- everything happens for the best. So touch wood.

20 comments:

artnavy said...

Roll on itchy! Abouttime anyway.

Has to be me said...

Im sure its gonna be a wise move. Good luck in ur new venture. Time to call it quits! :)
Im waiting 4 my turn too! ;)
BTW, liked the way u've written it...I was actually expecting something more saucy!!! ;p

k's mom said...

Good luck with the new venture!

starry nights said...

So many questions I thought it was a relationship you were ending( a human one). very well written. Good luck on your new job and dont look back.I am sure you will do well no matter where you go.

The Kid said...

Please do not think I am preaching... but I would strongly suggest against writing sensitive career related stuff in a blog even if you write anonymously. Too many people have been affected by this. Well written though.

-p

itchingtowrite said...

thanks artnavy, k's mom, starry nights
has to be me- good luck- actually i told my husband - perhaps this is how one feels when one is cheating on the spouse!! & that's what gave me the idea of the post!!
the kid- thanks! point taken, i had tried to keep it as generic as possible...

Gauri said...

Best wishes and Good Luck with your new venture ITW !!

Kalpana said...

Good luck for your new Job!!!

mommyof2 said...

Its ok to feel sad and let go.. After all we humans are the ones with emotions.. Now where did I read the post about not taking the work personally? Was it urs or artnavy’s blog? Anyways Good Luck with ur new job.

And yes, I will do the tag :-) I thought I will post it by Monday but just been busy. Will do it very soon..:-)

Ashish said...

First impression on reading was that it was actually a relationship that was going off; and then read about that this was first job, which is far less painful. Changing from first job is indeed painful and causes multiple re-thinks (I am onto 4th job, so fully aware of the pain); but this is also like the first step in developing a career. A person learns to not get too too too deeply attached to the place of working, and will also start to encounter people who are sufficiently detached that they change jobs every few years with increases. I have seen cases of a person starting with me moving on much faster by rapidly shopping around for jobs and selling himself pretty well (selling himself in a positive sense). :-)
Best of luck.

The Visitor said...

Whew! You almost gave me a heart attack! Dont do this (I mean dont give these suspense stories).
Everything happens for the best
*touching wood*

Hip Grandma said...

I thought you were only itching to write.Itching to change jobs as well!!Is this what you youngsters call 7 years itch??

Archana Bahuguna said...

Vow you must have really really high moral standards ... thinking so much about changing a job! In today's world! I bow to you :-) I am sure you will do extremely well in the next venture.

So, Good luck and have fun! And remember, 'change' also means progress...

controlfreak said...

At first i thought the opposite,then i realised it was your job and i calmed down,change often brings about a certain kind of restlessness in me so i can imagine you feeling a little what can i say weird?I am sure it was time for you to move on,best of luck on your new "relationship".

Anonymous said...

??!!cheating on spouse..!! tts too harsh for chking out something better...hehe..i am in the process now..so cant go with ur comment...gudluck wih ur new assignement...

hane said...

ohhh my god!!! this is a v shockin news!!! how did u do this?? but all the best for your future!! As u said God is always there with us....its just that ur moving ahead in life....ALL D BEST!!!

hane said...

Neways this is just the "END OF ONE CHAPTER"....hope that ur another chapter is as good as the last one!!

Usha said...

The longer you have been in a job, the tougher it gets to break it up and move on.
All the best in your new job.

Rajitha said...

Jeez.. you almost got me there, I as all the other bloggers here thought it is indeed a RELATIONSHIP you were ending before getting to the fact, well written!! Good Luck in your next venture!

itchingtowrite said...

kal, gauri- thanks
mom of 2- i know i really feel sad to go.will miss my workplace
ashish- welcome, thanks u made me feel better
visitor- so i did it - wrote good suspense story to giv visitor a heart attack. i thought u were netural & objective
hip g mom- exactly what i said in my interview- 7 year itch may be 1 of the reasons for leaving!
archana, usha, rajitha, controlfreak, hane- thanks, i feel better abt the change now
gils- welcome & all the best on your hunt