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Sunday, December 19, 2010

Where Art Thou Oh God of Weight Loss?

Dear God of Weightloss,
I need to lose just 5 kgs by February.
I promise to do all that I wrote in my weight management posts 3 years ago.
I promise to eat my salads, reduce the carb intake and stop errr restrict eating outside.
I promise to buy a nice sexy gym outfit for myself instead of the dowdy oversized T shirts in black that I borrowed from the husband.
I am willing to not glare at the moron who screams my weight aloud for everyone to hear during the annual health check up or clobber the freak who calls me obese and circles the ideal body weight in the height/ weight/ age chart.
I have already stopped KFC & Potato Chips.
I sip water the entire day.
I walk when I talk on the phone.
I do 45 minutes of cardio every alternate day.
I park my car in the faraway parking lot every alternate week.
I do not take elevators..errr I live and work on ground floor but then that's not my fault.
I bend down to pick up fallen toys and play frisbee with the kids.
I walk up to speak to the colleauge even if it is just next cabin with a shared wall.

What more do you want me to do you heartless God?
Cut of my body parts like hair to reduce the weight?
Or tamper with the awful weighing scale in the gym that shows 2 kgs extra?
Or grow in height by a couple of feet to come to ideal weight according to my height?


GB said...

Take a look at this:
Though I wouldn't advocate an unhealthy lifestyle, I'd say we should stop obsessing with what we weigh. You seem to be pretty active...stay happy.

Phoenixritu said...

Sigh, this strikes a chord. Sure does

Anonymous said...

you like a hippopotamus!! I, swear, you need to lose at least 20 Kgs to look like Katrina and just imagine she was considered too fat to be considered a model.

On a serious note...take inspiration from Sonam Kapoor..she was 90 Kgs before she came became the sexy model!

Am sure you can do it a 26 waist jeans and a football!! And everyday run with the ball for 1 hour and after coming back try to fit into that jeans. Am sure within a months time you will fit into the jeans!

All the best

Itchingtowrite said...

phoenix- only u can understand my sorrow- sobs on her shoulder

GB- nahin i wudn't hav obsessed if it as not above danger mark.

anon- pls.... run with ball for 1 hour and try and fit into 26 size jeans? who fed u that crap?

Anonymous said...


I wear a 24 size jeans and mom of a 5 year old kid. Was overweight in college to the tune that guys commented me to be a football with hands and legs.

Did water drinking 1 ltr of water the first thing in the morn after getting up.

Also, if ur knees allow jog with a has a drastic reduction on that fat.

All the best! and yes no meat!!

Itchingtowrite said...

Anon- tell me water therapy? amazing that u still fit in 24. well, i was never size 24 i guess and as of now i think i am at the point of no return. my first goal is to get to near ideal wt and then see what else i can do.
no meat impossible!! boo hoo hoo sob sob

Anonymous said...

Hey ITW,
Merry Christmas!

Yes, water therapy is drinking 10 litres of water everyday and to begin the day by drinking 1 ltr of water.

Also, swimming for at least 45 mins a day!

Also, you cant drink water after any exercise, however, thirsty you may feel. If you feel unbearable then keep the water in ur mouth for sometime and then throw it out!

No eating egg or mutton. However, you may eat fish!

The, problem with being overweight is that your cholesterol level increases making you prone to heart attack couple with the fact that the knees will give away soon.

Do you have a Jane Fonda CD/DVD?? Start with that and surya it for 2 weeks and then get into swimming.

But, yes drinking lots of water and no non-veg if you really want to keep the diseases at bay.

Running with the ball is most effective but the problem is that the knees may not be able to take it and you may suffer cramps. Once you have come to an ideal height-weight ratio then start this exercise.

All the best!