My Sins Against Gender Stereotype

Apu tagged me to do proclaim the sins hat I have done and here I bite the bait!

First of all I really do not think that burning your lingerie is a symbol of feminism or wearing pink is girlish or liking cooking, knitting is a typical girlie stereotype- after all, don't we have male celebrity chefs?
Frankly I always treat roles as gender neutral- I do nog let definitions or boundries prevail on me. Whenever I have done something that is considered masculine, I have done it without giving it a second thought- it is done because it has to be done.

But since nobody is asking my opinion but asking me to just list out 10 stuff that I have done that are considered not girlish- I do just that but give my reasons on why I did that.

1. I learnt to drive a car at the age of 11 and a 2 wheeler at the age of 10- a thing that is very normal for a boy to do. Again, it was not an act of a rebel. Neither was it done becoase I wanted to prove a point that - oh, you think I should not be doing it because I am a girl- so I will exactly do it. Mom put me on a moped right after I learned to cycle. And I admit I was shit scared the first time. From that to a car was a natural progression. But again, it was just something that I learnt for the purpose of learning and not for driving around taking Dad's car. It was not that I was simply waiting to become 18 and take a driving license. It happened in its own course. And even afterwards, it was only in 2007 that I got my own car and really started driving.

2. I lived in a hostel-for 6 years- I guess a first in my family. Again not to prove a point because it had to be done. I never felt that pride- ladki hoke bhi akele hostel mein rahti hai. It was no biggie. I never thought that a girl should not be allowed to do it. And this also meant the countless trips from hostel to home and vice versa began- out of necessity.

3. I lived alone in a new city when I got my first job. No big deal. Neither my family nor I thought that it should be done otherwise.

4. I do not believe in not contributing towards the traditionally accepted men's domain of earning the dough. Not because I feel it is the feminist thing to do- but because it seems the sensible thing to do.

5. I feel that every member of the house, including the man of the house should help at home- kitchen/ kids/ cleaning. Because I honestly believe that what has to be done has to be done. So if I need to leave the house at 8 am then every member in the house should do their bit in ensuring that it gets done. If the home needs vacuuming- anyone should be able to take the initiative to do it

6. I do not believe that decision making is the domain of men. I like to be an equal partner in that. New house, new paints, which school etc etc. Again, I might not take the final decision or be involved in the process of looking for alternatives. But I would most certainly like to be involved at the crucial stages.

7. One will never see me sitting all coy and submissive. I love to argue my point out rather than just accept what is told to me to do.

8. And most uncharacteristically, I pushed the husband to get a blackberry - something that is traditionally his domain- gadgets and such.

9. I read in the loo. Such a man thing to do. Not the reading- the reading in the loo thing.

10. I can carry out mini repairs on my own- food processor and the likes.

Milestones

I secrety think that the new arrangement of different sections seem to be helping Ojas & Tejas blossom in different ways. But outwardly, I would still want to stomp my feet and say put my babies in the same section.
Especially when the teachers standing at the gate to welcome "their" students completely ignore one of the siblings in saying Good morning. The kids are not used to such difference coming from people. It gladdened my heart when Tejas' teacher asked - what is your brother's name when she found Ojas looking expectatingly towards her whenever she wished Tejas good morning- and more so because Ojas' teacher is a little soft spoken.
Anyway, the kids have been made monitors- Tejas is supplies monitor and I almost laughed out aloud when the teacher said seriously- pretty important role!
Ojas is "book read" monitor and I am guessing from what he described that he is supposed to read out the letter of the day or something.

On the other hand, they are going through another phase which pains me a lot- 4 friends have formed 2 different groups and Ojas & Tejas are in opposite groups- short of taking sides myself and quarreling from either side, I have been doing all that it takes to get them back together again when they are out in the complex play area. I coax them, cajole them and tell them when anyone (meaning your party person) says Tejas is a good boy, then Tejas should say- Ojas is also a good boy.
I have told them Ojas & Tejas are friends first then other people are your friends. (Meanie me)
The only thing that is left is to take them home everytime they break into groups!
Update- just this morning, Ojas got all protective- why did you hit Tejas- said he to another boy!

Ojas, Tejas Crack a Joke

Me- Come and have your lunch
Kids- What is there for lunch
Me- Chicken
Kids- KFC?
Me- No, MFC- Mamma's Fried Chicken
Kids- If Dadda gets chicken then what will you call it
Me- DFC
Kids- no, KFC (Because Hubby's name starts with K!)

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A 7 year old kid hit the neighbour's children. Ojas & Tejas gave him a lecture

Why did you hit them

Boy- because they hit me

Ojas, Tejas- If they hit you, you should tell their mother, not hit them. They are babies no?

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Tejas- I am hungry (angling for the lollypop or something interesting)

Me - Will you have milk

Tejas- I said eat not drink

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Or alternatively

Tejas- I am hungry (angling for the juice)

Me- Will you have rice

Tejas- I want to drink something not eat

The Home Makeover Series- More Paintings on the Walls

The husband got bitten by the painting bug. And I got bitten by the bug that makes you want to adorn your walls with lots of pictures. So we went around hunting for good pictures, but none seemed good enough. We are not the types who want the standard boring landscapes and all on our walls. We want something more meaningful and likeable and something with which we can identify - like colourful Madhubani art,

Or this unique work from PhillipinesWe hunted for Kalamkari work done on cloth but I guess I need to wait for the Dastakari Haat to buy it.
In our search for art works- we visited Kalpdruma and noticed a lot of wall art done - we took inspiration from that and came out with ideas to adorn our walls. Take a look.

Painter at work

Impressed- Ojas & Tejas take snaps The Finished Work- on the wall behind the bed
The Sun Shining from our Entrance Wall

Tree of Life - birds, animals and us

Little Cups of Joy

Cactii planted in my terracota Tea Cup Terrariums

The methodology of making the terrariums can be found here

And a large Can(na) of joy that brightened my day one early morning

How Does Your Home Smell Like?

Impossible to tell is it not?

Whenever I think of people, I can most certainly remember what their homes smell of- odonil, musty upholstery, incense sticks, medicines, cockroaches (yes that too), fish fry. But ask me what my home smelled like or smells like even now - I cannot tell.

But I do know from feedback that over the last few years my home has smelled of various stuff depending upon the time of entry into the house- susu waala nappies (thank God no more), Vibhooti (ugggh), incense (too holy for my tastes), cooked non veg (yumm), sometimes even the community dustbin (oowack) until it was removed from the vicinity of my backyard.

For those who know me well will understand that fragrance is extremely important to me. And it makes me feel "blind" rather anosmic when I am unable to pinpoint what my home smells of.

To remedy that I tried pot pourri but to my disappointment, it never worked for me.

I have placed bouquets of tree jasmine in the living room and it has definitely worked- emitting a heady fragrance but that is a very seasonal method.

Then I discovered the Reed diffuser. This comes in a pack of fragrant oil with a set of reeds. You need to dip the reeds in the fragrance and leave it in your room. The only thing you need to do thereafter is to invert the reeds every 3-4 days. The reed diffuser is surprisingly effective for an enclosed space and also for a largish living room. These come in refill packs also.

You can choose from various fragrance styles- I predictably selected a vanilla and a cinnamon mix.

Since the complete set was very expensive I just picked up the refill pack which is a simple plastic bottle.

Given that the kids have a penchant for upturning bottles and glasses, I decanted a small measure of the fragrance into a pretty Maple Syrup Bottle and a lying-around-just-like-that vase and voila- my customised reed diffuser is ready and adorning the rooms.

I Got 10 after 10

nahin 10 because 10 - is what my brother said when he was younger. He couldn't remember that he was supposed to say 10 on 10 or 10 out of 10.

Not Only Paired conjunctions But also adverbials were my pet exercise in school days. Go to the links to check them out.

But however, this post is not about that but about infuriating words in Hindi and integrating English / Urdu words into Hindi and then using them wrongly- my last contribution to Red Marker Blogathon for June 2010.

होएगा- (hoega) - word does not exist- you call it होगा as in hoga tumse pyara kaun!!

सबसे best - It's fine to integrate English words into Hindi but how can one attach a superlative to a word that is already in superlative. Remove the sabse word before best because sabse means maximum like Aaj tak- Sabse Tez

You are fooling yourself if you are not calling it फूल (phool) but fool . And it is not fir but Phir (फिर) - people often confuse between ph or f sound- Tip- Look at Bollywood movie titles to get a hint of the correct pronunciation - Phool Bane Angare, Phir Milenge

अगर वो तुमको तंग करे तो उसका मम्मी को बोल दो। (Agar vo tumko tang kare to uska mummy ko bol do) - Not uska but Uski (उसकी)- The Ka and Ki confusion in Hindi is a major one for most people - The gender of the person or item about who we are talking is the one that takes precedence- So uski mummy and uska Daddy, irrespective of whether we are talking of son's mom or daughters dad. (or uske Daddy if you want to attach respect to the Dad not the son or the daughter)

Sakool / Iskool jaa rahe ho beta? Are you going to School?- Many of us have been asked this question- depending upon whether the question came from a Punjabi or a Bihari!

And one funny confusion that my kids have- kal ( कल) means both yesterday and tomorrow and when my kids translate what they spoke in Hindi into english for their Dad, I find them debating between the two of them whether they meant yeasterday or tomorrow before finally translating for their Dad!

Saaa... Paaaa.... Neeee

The kids started Carnatic Classes on Monday.
The teacher comes home to teach.
As usual the kids took a while to warm up to the idea of a music class - rather a class at home.
As the teacher sat with the kids right in front of her I quietly faded into our room to give them privacy and freedom but stood behind my french door and felt totally royal- the ladies of the royal household watching court proceedings from behind the jharokha!

Ojas- This is my new TV, and this wall has new paint- don't touch. This is my dinosaur.
Teacher- ok, keep your dinosaur away- we will talk after me finish class
Ojas- this is not class- this is my house
Teacher- ok, next half an hour this is going to be class.

Yes, it was funny but it was also kind of scary for me- I was afraid the class will fold up the day it started.

After this initial talk the kids started singing. The teacher started with the sargam and the various combinations. I almost rejoiced as Ojas' voice rang out clear and Tejas' soft yet audible. I could for the first time appreciate the difference between the treatment of the sargam in Carnatic and Hindustani.
As the teacher sang various combinations she came to Pa...Neee
As if on cue, Ojas and Tejas got up and ran to the kitchen saying - I want water!
Refreshed after the break the teacher started a Krishna bhajan.
So far so good. Fingers crossed for the forthcoming classes! Wish us well!

The Home Makeover Series- Going on Record

After the Warli painting was done, my fingers were itching to do something else. From the time we bought this house, I had been wanting to do a nameplate but somehow, no style seemed good enough or unique enough or cheap enough.

As I was thinking over and over, I thought about punning on the word Name- Plate and paint on a plate. But then I thought it would be difficult to punch a hole and mount it on a wall.


Therefore I needed something with a ready made provision for hanging.


I unearthed an old scratched up LP record and this is what I did with it

I first painted the LP with the left over gold paint. 2 coats were needed. I waited for it to dry completely and stuck pictures of all four of us and painted our names with black acrylic paint.

Cool isn't it? (and cheap also!)

(Note- The original image has been modified using paint - the original obviously has our names on it!)

The Home Makeover Series- Dancing on Walls

Continuing with the homemakeover series-
After doing the changes in the furniture and experimenting with bold new paints, we wanted to embellish further.
One of the problems we suffer from is the numerous handprints and sundry other stains that magically appear on the walls within a week of painting. The husband decided to remedy that by giving a Brick Wall finish to the lower walls so that the hand prints or carelessly held crayons do not make much of an impact on the walls. Here's how he did it using a foam brick- the effect is deliberately patchy to give a worn out look
I got this brilliant idea (not)- actually I simply picked up the idea from Madmomma- of recreating the Warli art on the "brick" wall- thereby creating a representation of the Tulika book- Dancing on Walls- the story of the little girl Shivri who in her attempt to help her parents in her housework meets the dancing people from the moon - how these little dancing people come about to adorn the walls of numerous homes is a mystery that you can solve by reading the book. I picked up the drawings from this very book - it was available on hand and extremely convenient to just copy the same on the wall- (pic courtsey- Tulika) This wall is adjacent to the kitchen- the theme I selected was family, harmony and home while drawing the Warli- So dancing couple- modernised by putting a ponytail for the lady dancer and dancing family with two little boys- the creeper and sun representing vitalty and growth and prosperity. The metal frame above was purchased from Dastakari art at the Orissa counter sometime ago for not more than RS 350 if I remember correctly- Workmen & dancing people I suppose. The reason I chose that was because the circular work inide the square is done in such a way that orientation of the "painting" does not matter while mounting on the wall

The central area with display rack on the top and carpet below was similarly given the brick effect. As usual, I copied images from Dancing on Walls and the husband painted them with a fine tipped brush and acrylic paint. These are various dancing positions and acrobatics- emphasis on movement more than stills. (It has created a stir in the complex with people asking us -how exactly did you do that?)

View of Living room and kitchenThis is the latest acquisition- picked up from the Jharkhand stall in Metro plus show - I had been lusting after this form of art over last 3 plus years. Every year I would haggle in the show and leave it because the husband would dart dark glances at me. This time I went alone and could haggle in peace. All 5 pieces acquired for Rs 1800- I know I should have bargained harder- I had already brought it down by more than half- yet I feel an uneasiness that I have been fleeced- but then- I was desperate and that is more important than anything else- These flattish black metal performing women with the gold embellishment goes well with the gold wall

Final Look- Dining and Living Room- view from the garden