Must Have Chocolates

Experiential, Delicious Chocolates with a Surprise...
The course of my job takes me to a chocolate expedition. Rather brings the expedition to my desk.
Lindt Peperoncino- Chocolates with a mild pungency of pepper in the throat. Careful before you pop the entire square in. Gives a slow but sure burn.
Lily O Briens Desserts- Bite size Chocolate cupswith dessert experience. A must have and don't even think of sharing. Lemon Sorbet is the surprise, I have never seen anothr lemon that blends so well with chocolate.
Sainsbury's Whole Cherry Chocolate Liqueurs- Dark chocolate filled with cherries & brandy. A melt in the mouth experience leaving a burning sensation in the throat. 1 piece and no more for me. But for somone who is used to hard drinks is lured into my room to badger me for more.
Vosges Chocolate- Exotic ingredients, lovely pack and raises chocolate eating to an- awakeing all 5 senses experience
Gulliver Coffee Beans- Roasted coffee beans coated with chocolate. Available in India- Nuts n Spices, Fresh @ stores. They have done a fin job of bring down the bitterness of the beans
Richfield Kiwi chocolate bar- Pieces of kiwi hidden withing a slab of chocolate. I loved it. Much better than the Cadbury's Black Forest which is more of cherry and cookies embedded in chocolate.
Ritter Sport Dark Chocolate Mousse- A little too bitter for my taste but that did not stop me from eating.
I haven't opened the rest of the packs to comment! More will come when I taste them

Another Tag Done- The Game of 5

These tags are a good way to keep the blog alive when you are swamped with work.
An important presentation to do, agreed for Monday deadline to bail out the Sardarji Account Manager who conveniently forgot to fix up a date with the client in advance and we have to do a rush job. He tried hard to pin down the blame on me but unfortunately could not succeed in his gundagardi. And we managed to find out that he was trying to shunt me out of the meeting by portraying that I am "coordinating for samples" and not doing the whole damn presentation. He infact never told the client that I am travelling to Mumbai just for the presentation. He took Monday appointment from the client and has told me the meeting is on Friday itself. The idea is I travel on Friday, the meeting does not happen and he keeps the samples and the presntation and does it by himself on Monday. Smart! We pulled some strings here and things are smooth as of now.
and now for the tag...
From Bangalore Mom, Timepass, Art Navy & Cuckoo
The rules of the tag are- 'Link 5 different posts of yours. Tag 5 other people to do it. The 5 posts should be about Family, Friends, Yourself, your love and anything you like!!
Family- Parents/ Grandparents
Friends-or lack of many of them- difficult to locate a good post on friends, so I better do it soon Yourself- Working Mom
Your Love- engagement story
Anything Else-Factual Fiction
I am not tagging anyone because probably everyone I know have already done it. So any one who hasn't done it yet please take it up and link me to it as the tagger!

Alphabet Soup Tag

Time I move my butt to do the tags that have been piling up like a month old laundry.
Alphabet Soup From Art
A -Available? You kidding? after all this long? Is in't it obvious?
B-Best friend- Hubby (before he became my Hubby!!)
C-Cake or Pie? Cake any day with chocolate even better, chocolate sauce, best of the lot.
D - Drink of choice: Ice Lemon Tea, Lemon Masala Soda, Frappe, Any juice
E-Essential thing used everyday: Lipstick on work days or whenever I am going out. Otherwise soap is definitely used everyday!
F-Favourite colour: (Midnight!!) Black
G-Gummi bears or worms: If push comes to shove gummi bears else neither
H-Hometown: Patna
I-Indulgence: Chocolate my nemesis and cake (see above as in C)
J-January or February: January- more holidays
K-Kids and names: Ojas & Tejas
L-Life Happens
M-Marriage date: December eight (rhymes well! with the question)
N-Number of siblings: 2
O-Oranges or apples: Oranges both as fruit and as colours
P-Phobias: flying cockroach, falling down from height, Reaching that uncontrollable stage of loo pressure and all you get is a dirty toilet
Q-Quote: Khudi ko tu kar iss tarah buland ki har takdeer ke pehale khuda khud bande se poochay bataa teri razaa kya ( make yourself so determined that before writing every aspect of your future, God Himself asks you what is your wish)
R-Reason to smile: Happiness from within
S-Season: Spring & Winter
T-Tag three people: Alan, Gauri, Ceekay
U-Unknown fact about me: Let it stay as that
V-Vegetable you do not like: Turnip
W-Worst habit: Crying for small things
X-x-rays you have had during health check ups and during the ligament tear
Y-Your favorite food: Non veg
Z-Zodiac: Leo

It Helps to be a Minority

1. When you are the only one who doesn't mind using the Indian loo when everyone else is queued up for the western one.
2. When you are the only Christian or Muslim who will take an extended RH from work unlike the rest of the Hindus whose mass exodus will cause problems in the working system.
3. When you are the only adult among many who preferred potato chips over banana chips and you end up having the entire pack to yourself.
4. When you are th only one who does not go to the conference and end up being among the only few coming to work. Like a holiday at your workplace.

Learning Sessions

1. Ojas pointing out parts of the body...
Mausi- What is this?
Ojas- Hands
Mausi- What is this?
Ojas- eyes
Mausi- What is this (pointing to the leg)
Ojas- Ummmm.... Pajama!

2. The kids teasing mausi-
Mosquito, Mosquito, Mausi-quito...

3. Learning Names
I went about teaching the kids names of all of us. They ask Nani's name?
I say- Nalini
Ojas obviously thought I am playing with the word "Nani"
He says- Nani la la la (not Nani), Nani name, name. As if I am on dumb idiot who could not understand what name implies

4. Tejas- Mamma, phone
Me- No, Take Daddy's phone
Tejas- No, Dadda pitti (Daddy will beat)
My phone is what? junk, and dad's phone is maha- precious!!

5. They reverse their tricycle making the warning beeping which a car gives in reverse gear

6. If one of them has taken something that the other wants, instead of fighting for it, they just touch it or grab some air from that direction along with chak chak sound and keep it with them. If we pretend we have eaten their ears or bum they put their finger in our mouth, take it back and stick the bum or ear back in place (along with chak chak sounds).

7. Their high chairs and tricycles are good for climbing and picking things from top or switching fan/ lights. If they want to protect their toys, they climb up and put them in the top shelves. Tejas leaves a warning to us-No touch, ok, Eshu's

Safety

The Security at my workplace was instructed to give me a sticker for my car- one reminding me to wear my seat belt and the other not to use mobile while driving.
Thank you site manager for reminding me to be safe for my sake and for the sake of my family.
For reminding me that a machine at my disposal is to be used responsibly and carefully. For reminding me that safety is not a joke. I, an educated, responsible, adult should have known better.
How do I expect to set a good example to my kids when I am not doing the right thing? So ultimately it boils down to practice what you preach.
So, for every troll that attempts to push me towards the side and overtake me, I say better safe than sorry, no panga with idiots who have nothing to lose. I chew my pride and allow them to pass.
A colleague recalled an incident where driving through a snowed road, the car skidded and the back seat passanger who was without the seat belt got ejected out of the back windshield.

Many years ago, a bus hit our stationery vehicle from behind and the car dashed against a truck loaded with bamboo poles a few metres ahead.

Seat belt facts

1. If unrestrained in a crash at 30mph, you will be thrown forward with a force up to 60 times your own body weight
2. Adjust the seat properly. Place the lap belt as low as possible over the hips – not over the abdomen. Ensure the shoulder belt lies on the chest and over the shoulder. Do not leave any slack in the belt
3. Do not interfere with the correct function of the seatbelt by fitting any comfort devices that are not recommended by your vehicle manufacturer
4. Use seatbelts even when travelling at low speeds or going on a short trip
5. Chances of being killed are almost 25 times greater if one is thrown from the vehicle
6. The forces in a collision can be great enough to throw one as far as 150 feet – about 15 car lengths
7. Seatbelts can keep one from:
   -Plunging through the windscreen
   -Being thrown out the door and hurled through the air
   -Scraping along the ground
   -Being crushed by own vehicle or oncoming vehicle
8. In almost any collision, one is better off being held inside the vehicle by seatbelts
9. Less than ½% of all injury-producing collisions involve fire or submersion. If fire or submersion does occur, wearing a seatbelt can save one's life.
10. If involved in a crash without seatbelt, one might be stunned or knocked unconscious by striking the interior of the car. Then the chances of getting out would be far less.
11. One's better off wearing the seatbelt at all times. With seatbelts, one's more likely to be unhurt, alert and capable of escaping quickly.
12. While wearing the seat belt, when reaching for things that will take one away from the steering wheel, it’s safer to pull off the road at an appropriate location
13. Holding the driver firmly, the seatbelt gives him the chance to keep control of his vehicle and prevents him from getting ejected off the vehicle
14. In incidents involving heavy goods vehicles, the major cause of injury is contact with the interior of the cab. Wearing a seatbelt significantly reduces this risk
15. Edited to add a tip from Suki- in case your car is upside down after an accident, the seat belt should be opened by pressing the button and pulling on the belt at the same time. Just the release button might not work in those circumstances.

Allowances

A colleague once told me, never buy stuff for your kids in front of them. It makes them think everything can be bought if you fuss hard enough. Buy things for them when they are not observing. A part of me agrees and a part does not. I can imagine kids just loading stuff at random in the shopping bag, expecting parents to pay for them at the counter. Easy!
Why kids, sometimes I feel less guilty while paying via credit card compared to when the bank notes leave my purse. Or when hubby pays for something, I feel less concerned than when I pay for it, even though my money is my money and his money is also my money!
On the other hand, how else one teaches the value of money to kids? Or is it fair to inflict the worries of money matters on the kids? I remember when Dad used to talk of salaries getting delayed I used to worry sick how he will run the family. I remember filling up the annual income in admission forms and back calculating whether it is sufficient to pay for our needs. With limited understanding of savings, I used to worry unnecessarily. I really cannot decide which is the right way to balance it and convey the message that they are secure, they need not worry about issues for which they are too young but also not be totally oblivious to the ways of the world.
That brings me to the subject of allowances. Should I give pocket money to the kids or let them ask and I buy for them, thereby exercising control over where they put their money? Sue wrote an interesting post which talked about how she used her allowances and how thy grew as she grew.
At what age is it right to give allowances? I remember not having regular pocket money because I never felt the need to buy anything for myself. Hubby talks of getting "bus-money" of which he used save some by the weekend due to round figure fare issues and how they used to buy a treat for themselves with it. Does pocket money teach kids how to make that rupee go farther or do they just fritter it away in excesses?
Suppose I go by the principle of buying on request basis. What are my choices?
Do I buy whatever they request or do I ration them out?
Some of the allowed and not allowed stuff I have in mind based on what kids usually ask for would be-
1. Books/ Magazines- definitely allowed but rationed to an extent. First they need to exhaust other options like library- school & local, friends and internet. I will allow a few subscribed magazines/ comics, the rest could be read on the net. Collectibles like asterix, tintin, amar chitra katha, Enid Blytons allowed but I will try to make them hunt for a good bargain. Since I am a book freak myself, I am generous about it but calculated too. I will encourage them to build their own library because I know the joys of reading and re-reading books.
2. Clothes/ Shoes- Allowed not just for birthdays or festivals. Something I cannot control because we both are clothes horses ourselves. We don't wait for occassions but buy as we like it. Most of us have been encouraged to wear clothes/ shoes till they get completely worn out. We were taught to preserve new clothes and use them ultra- sparingly until we realized that it has gone out of fashion or we have grown out of it and we never managed to wear them to our heart's content. Today I realize that is not the best way to do it. Apparances do matter and grooming is important. I would like to encourage my kids to understand that, so that they don't end up being totally devoid of interest towards self-maintenance- kind of "badshauk". I have seen people who wear their ordinary clothes for a wedding or the most out-of-date style regularly because they do not want to give them up. Instead of controlling numbers, I will perhaps focus on getting better bargains, have a fair mix of varieties and keep an eye out for discarding stuff that start "looking old". Replenish on need basis rather than occassion basis. and buy sensible rather than outrageously expensive.
3. Toys/ Games- Heavily rationed unless they are educational- like kalaiedoscope/ monopoly, scrabble or game of skill like carrom, chess etc. I will wait for birthdays to get them as gifts- may be drop heavy hints to allow people to buy them before I take the money out of my purse. A big no-no for game CDs unless they want to make a career out of them. A few allowed as stress- busters but no excesses on that.
4. Food/ Treats/ Chocolates/ Snacks- Allowed - We both are shameless foodies. But here's the deal- no control on any fruit they want, no control on home made stuff- cakes, desserts, snacks, eggs, milk products, home made juices. But serious objection if they are used to substitute the regular meals. As long as they have healthy meals, they can freak out on snacks in-between. Any new snack will be tasted, experimented and judged. Being from the food industry, I want them to develop a taste for and relish all kinds of food so I have no objection for trying any new product. They can select what they want to eat but quantities will be rationed. Chocolates will be rationed on weekly basis, same for packed juices/ cakes. A monthly or fortnightly meal outside with family allowed.
5. Memberships/ Communities/ Signing for Extra curricular activities- Allowed if related to books, sports, quizzing, performing arts, community work etc as long as it does not interfere in their regular activities and is not over or dangerous. If a group of friends want to take off on their own for a trip, I may not allow that unless we are convinced it is worth it or unless they are old enough. Agreed travel widens the perspective, makes one independent but I have to allow that based on thir age and how responsible they are.
6. Music/ Video CD's/ DVD's- Allowed but a few months after the release, if they still want it. I will encourage them to buy the original stuff and not go around downloading because I want thm to enjoy and appreciate quality sound and listening experience rather than listen just for the sake of listening.
They say kids have a lot of pester power in major household purchases. This lot is getting smarted day by day. So how as a parent am I going to match their step and still exercise control is the question.

Mush Post

I will have to admit that I have become one of the many who admire my husband for his business acumen. I have known it for a while that he was sharp but seeing him in his element at close quarters and mutely participating in the decisions he is taking and strategies he is devising, me, his boss, is forced to grudgingly admire him. I fail to understand where he learnt all this, it was for sure not taught in our MBA school, if it was, what was I doing when they were teaching all this?
So where did he learn it? During his first job? Where he set up a medical transcription unit under the hawk-eye of the European settler? Or in the latter one when he started travelling abroad closing design-software deals with diamond merchants & Prestige brand owners or in the last one where he was the VP Sales and partnered with Government/ Private companies for launching software products/services? I don't know when he imbibed all the learning and don't know how he is managing to multitask in our new company when he cannot do simple tasks like watching TV & keeping an eye on the kids and replying to my query at the same time!

I always thought I was the smarter one because I could multi task, I could read books when he couldn't, I could differentiate brands and odours and tastes and I could get a good bargain or find a better store or write better english but I now set my ego aside and admit that he is the smarter one- street smart and worldly wise.

He has been invited by our MBA school to be a speaker in their STAR panel where they will invite one person each from sports, civil services, media, young entrepreneur field and the likes. He refused but then promised to attend incase they cannot find any other entrepreneur to participate because the school must hear from someone who has achieved to an extent rather than somone who has just started.

Psst...I post this in grudging admiration, knowing that he is never going to read it!

On How Much is Too Much

The blogosphere is discussing about the priviledges wrt education across timespans.
Here I record my two-bit on the subject.
Three decades ago, the only concern for parents was all-girls/ boys school or co-ed school among the so many convent schools in a town like mine. You either take that or end up in a co-ed government school. A metro was more advanced in the sense, public schools and co-education was the accepted norm and the debate was always between the merits of either kind and the fantastic class X results that each school boasted of every year. The fight was between CBSE and ICSE with or without State Board added to the pool. But in Bihar, State board was not even discussed as an option.
Teaching methods were not debated. The syllabi was not debated and standard of teachers were a given or rather expected to be the best considering the ranking of the school in the city.
Today, the parameters have changd. The bar has moved. And the factors that go into selecting a school for our child has changed. We have a school for your child depending upon the method of education you want for your child. We have a school for montessory philosophy, another for regular, another for academic-bent school and another for holistic- philosophy. To each his own.
Loosly comparing it to any product in the market, the consumers have a choice of specifications (variants) to play with but not enough volume of schools(production), branches (SKU's) or seats (capacity). Today it is not enough that you register your child when the time comes. It is not even enough if you go there when your child is 6 months old. You end up in the waiting list. You need to register when you are carrying your child. Then you can be assured of a seat. We faced this- we had gone in 2006 for admission in 2009 and were waitlisted and a friend got admission for her unborn kid but not the kid who was of age for nursery. There are other schools of normal fees structure that will admit students within 5-km radius only. Fair enough for those who live within that radius! And there are others where we pay exorbitant sums and then confer with the Delhi/ Mumbai counterparts and breath a sigh of relief that the scene in Chennai is not as bad as other cities and consider ourselves lucky. Let's leave out the logistics, availibility and finances of admissions and park these thoughts here for the moment- more so because getting the right school according to my perspective within our affordibility bracket has been relatively easier.
My perspective about selecting the right school is driven out of other factors, some shallow and some profound like-
1. Do I feel a kinship with the surroundings? Will I like going back to it everyday for a large and the most important part of my life? Will my face light up with anticipation each day when I walk in here? I am assuming that if I like it, my kids will also like it, considering that they are too young to decide for themselves. This is my first factor because this is what my school meant to me. I loved the space, I loved the building, the classrooms, the playground. I loved it when it was hot and I loved it when it was raining and we walked under the trees teeth chattering under our umbrellas and in our raincoats. Chatting nineteen to a dozen while boarding our buses to go back home. We loved the sand pit and we loved sitting under or climbing on the mango trees (the fruits of which we were strictly forbidden to pluck). Well, I eat my words, even if Ojas & Tejas cannot decide for themselves, they can definitely express their comfort or otherwise. Ojas has definitely taken to the idea and Tejas is still suspicious about the school. What was most heartening was that kids were refusing to go home after school and parents had to literally cajole and coax them to go home! That's my idea of a good school.
2. What is the quality of teachers? Their commitment levels? Are they teaching because they are passionate about teaching or because they have to? Probably I am trying to be idealistic but really, such people do exist. A colleague mentioned a teacher in The School who was so commited to teach there that he returned from abroad to join as a gardener until they had a vacancy for him. My ex-CEO used to take training workshops for the employees and clearly his energy and passion for people development was evident. Such people are rare but they exist and even a handful of such teachers will make a difference. Not that I can judge that from outside or reading the prospectus but I am hoping word-of-mouth and grapevine will alert me. And there will be a lot of PTA opportunities for me to judge. Today, a parent is not a parent of the student but also a consumer, a brand ambassador and more. A parent is expected to participate in the child's education not just be mute spectators or help with craft/ needlework stuff. This school assures that PTA meetings are also meant to take our voice to the administration. I am hopeful. Rather than shaking in my shoes at PTA's fearing what they will feedback on my children, I am hopeful I will look forward to the opportunity of a constructive interaction.
3. Holistic rather than completely academic - We used to be told, pay attention to your studies and don't participate in all extra-curriculars. If you are weak in a subject, keep working hard over it. Today the methodologies have changed. We are talking about focusing on our strengths and managing our weaknesses. We are talking about uncovering and tapping into our talents and following our passions. For parents who wish that their child focuses on academics, have endless tests to take and practice till they are perfected for the boards, there are options. But for parents like me who wish for more than just studies, there are options again. I have not been great shakes at anything other than academics. My school gave opportunities in the form of annual days and cultural days but no more than that. The school which I have chosen for the kids offer opportunities to take classes of choice and appoint instructors to train. They promote movie viewing on some Fridays and do a lot of activity and project based sessions- hands on, experimental and experiential, so to speak. I am not for a moment trying to disregard my education. It was the best of the lot in the city, a respected school and had earned a name for board results and quality of teachers. But today, we can do better than that. To me, a child is a mass of clay waiting to be moulded into shape. And we parents are facilitators or enablers helping the clay take it' s shape. The child needs the right opportunities that we parents can direct towards them. As parents, it is our duty to ensure that the opportunity is given, what the child does out of that depends on his ability, talent and willingness. But as a parent, I will strive towards getting the suitable opportunities available to him. Again it will be what we think as a right opportunity until the child can think for himself. Prodigies do exist but they are few in number. For the moment, I am not taking any risk and covering all possibilities. Giving my children more options so that when the time comes, they can choose between careers rather than be able to think of only doctor or engineering.
4. Infrastructure- We cannot escape technology. Any school that cannot keep up with the latest is out. Computers were in the nascent stage towards the end of my school life. Today kids know what a laptop is before classifying a PC as another computer. (Educational) toys in my time meant picture boards, mugs to pour water into a bucket (and believe me I refused to do that out of shyness in KG class), a rocking horse but today we have choice. Is the school keeping up? I would expect it to.
A friend congratulated me on the "huge investment" we have done- she meant school admissions. Well, the fees is definitely more than the other schools but the distance between the other best school that I had registered is not so much. And if that extra money gives me a self satisfaction, I am all for it. This school has a feel-good factor that I was looking for and that's enough for me. I am shallow probably but that's about it. And after all, how choosy can one get?

300th Post - Marks us famous

We get a mention here at Indian Shitizen