Or rather the other way round.
As Kiran blogged about it a few days ago
Many years ago it was a major insult if anyone used the word behenji types or dehati or likewise on me.
I come from a small town. And it would pinch badly if anyone called me that. As if I am not good enough. Or intelligent enough.
Ok to tell you the truth, living in a small town means your resources are limited, the styles are conservative, the opportunities are less and the show-sha is not at all there.
To cut a long story short, I moved on and out. Saw the world out of my town, lived in hostels, travelled abroad and now live in a metro in its own right and am maniacally hanging on to it. While I love small town life- the space, the clean air, the pace but not at gunpoint will I move back to a small town. No- not even Pondicherry (if you are reading this husband dear)
Because I don't want to become a small town behenji types whose only source of entertainment is television and who never goes to pubs and restaurants and discos (ah, I still don't but that is because the husband will never ever dance)
So that brings us to the point - am I a behenji or a behenji turned modern or what?
and coming to the root of the question- who is a behenji? Or in today's context who is a behneji?
Urban disctionery classifies Rani Mukherjee or Juhi Chawla as behenjis btw...
What I feel is I would rather be a healthy mix of both modern and behenji
So from a small town girl studying in a girls only convent school I became a hostel living- co-ed mein studying- alone travelling- wanting to do MBA-wanting to work rather than wanting to "get married after passing BA"- living alone in a city faaaaaaaaaaaaar South girl- Did it make me a non Behenji?
Ok so from trouser and skirt wearing I became a churidaar kurta girl (figure issues nonetheless) wanting very badly to wear a sari to work atleast monthly once and always wearing sari during functions- does that make me a behenji?
I believe in rustling up food at home for the 3 men in my life, there is a sudden urge to observe and create my own traditions in my own home- so while I still don't do a puja everyday but I insist that all festivals- North Indian & South Indian be observed in my home- from Kartik Deepam to Pongal to Diwali and even Christmas- does the first part make me a behenji or the last part (Christmas) make me non Behenji?
From being a strict mommy blogger only to facebooking now- does it make me a non behenji then?
I treat my husband as my friend- I am most comfortable that way because that is how we started- and not the pati parmeshvar but at the same time I believe in monogamy- not behenji or yes? (Disclaimer- doesn't write off harmless flirting !!)
I drive but will never drive to locations that are more than an hour away- behenji then?
I have become a compulsive shopper- this is a no brainer- this makes me what I am - a woman!!
But then I am buying stuff for my home and not just for me- Behenji or an arty-farty types or just a proud homemaker- which in a way translates to being behenji???
I am actually finding SAHM an attractive proposition while at the same time dreaming of becoming a hot shot top corporate types doing her own thing- behenji? or plain practical who wants to take a sabbatical and spend time with kids?
So am I getting behenji-ised or just becoming a woman of modern thinking and traditional values - who will shun regressiveness and at the same time keep traditions and customs alive
-who will be a superb homemaker and at the same time a professional when at work
-who will value quality time with family and at the same time will know how to do her own thing like blogmeets and girlie lunches and parties and society dos and the like
-who will at a drop of a hat do a large social get together at home churning up homemade food and at the same time do a stylish theme based birthday party full of fun
-who will be very very busy with work and home yet find time to connect
-who will splurge at the same time know how to save and invest
- who can equally enjoy a Rebecca & a Jeffery archer and a Women's Era or worse a Grihashobha?
-who will be houseproud but at the same time shake in her shoes at the mention of "housework"
-who will sing her kids to sleep but will sing- jhalak dikhlaja as a lori!
-who will mindlessly chatter with her friends and cousins of her age group but will be equally comfortable with the older age group
-who can get supremely attached to tele soaps and at the same time dance to music reality shows
-who supports and rejoices in consumerism but is a rabid control freak where environment is concerned
So what are you? Behenji or not?