I cannot control the number of guests because irrespective of the guest list, all kids of the complex will walk in for any party. More than that, all kids are friendly with Ojas & Tejas and I do not have the heart or will to restrict the guests to thir age group.
Weekend Fodder (4 days holiday can be considered as an extended weekend!)
- Is it rude to say "no gifts" on the invitation?
- Is it ok to foster the idea of gifts being part of any celebration and therefore condition the kids to expect gifts during birthdays
- As my friend AD rightly says- what is a birthday without gifts- is it not ok to teach them that gifts are one way of showing care and it is ok to expect and give gifts and nothing greedy about waiting eagerly to get them during birthdays.
- Infact the "iski kya zaroorat thee" (there was no need to bring gift) mentality is a no-no - one must gracefully accept and express delight because there is a joy in giving too and a thought behind that really matters.
- In light of global warming, is it ok to pass on gifts that you don't need - repack and gift it to someone else? Let it not waste away in storage. Lot of people do mention that it is something I got and cannot make use of it so I am passing it on to you. But they top it up with another gift they have bought so as to not look mean not having bought something for a gift.
- Or charity would be the better option? come to think of it, is it not a kind of forced charity- because you can neither gift, nor use nor store so the last option is giving away?
- What is the yardstick to measure the amount spent on a gift? Lot of people note down what gifts they received- record keeping is one reason but another reason often cited is so that you return in kind. Should I gift to match up with what someone gave us or should it depend upon my capacity? Is there a market rate for each occasion?
9 comments:
i don't know if there's any protocol. but yeah, kids love receiving gifts... so i think they shud be allowed to!
when i gift someone, it's usually something that catches my eye and reminds me of that person. not something that wud match in costs of previous gift recd. it cud cost much less or more.
haha! my favorite topic :) but I'm not sure if you would want to follow my protocol. and I realize these are rhetoric questions - but here's my take anyway since I did a post along these lines last week. my suggestion: put it on the invite - that you need their presence and not presents. I'm sure you'll be laughed at for such an unconventional request or worse, your request will be ignored - but they're your friends, right? so whats a few laughs at your expense. and you'll forgive the few who ignored you.
if you do get a barrage of gifts, you can bring out one or two new toys every month and donate/regift the duplicates. here's an inspiring site that I found thru dotmom: http://www.birthdayswithoutpressure.org
I am getting your of view but I'm a person who loves to gift! I like to chose all my gifts to everyone with complete personal touch! So you can say I'm pro for gifting :)
Should Thambi receive similar gifts, I personally don't mind giving them away. I usually don't regift or just give to children of our friends, instead I keep them until the end of the year and give them away at the hubby's gift collection drive for charities. This way you don't feel guilty and also you are making someone smile. Since it is diwali season, you may give it to some less unfortunate kids who live around the area.
Advance b'day wishes to the little ones. And we are in the same boat since Naren's 1st b'day is just around teh corner (2 days away).
Shobana
again..this is a matter of personal preference but since you asked, I echo kodi's moms words..its o.k to say no but that doesn't mean the kids aren't going to get any(they will atleast from the family)...so they have something to look forward plus they learn to expect things in moderation as well
I wish one could just buy gifts according to their capacity!
I didn't know there are people who kept a note of what gifts they received..
I am with ~nm. I love buying gifts. I don't think you should write no gifts on the invite. I think any reference about gifts on the invite is rude. People give because it gives them joy. and you can always give something in return when there is an occassion at their place, right?
i guess the verdict is to go with the gifts & not mention it...
K' mom- actually the questions r not rhetoric... I really need to know the answers
dotmom- i think I am convinced with your thought on saying no gifts being rude. I was in half mind whether i shud do that or not...
and as all of u mention- we love to give as much as we love to receive and it is a good time to start teaching kids on the joys of both giving & receiveing.. maybe that's why there is this concept of return gift.. a little something takeaway
i usually like giving activity books but probably kids may like getting some sketch pens etc
I've never said no gifts on an invite since kids generally like to exchange gifts. Usually though if it's a family member I will tip them off to what would be appreciated if they wanted to buy something but that didn't have to. I always match the gift with the giver and teach the kids how to write a thank you note to each person. Regifting and donation are fine if it's something you guys won't use.
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