About the Patna Home

Home is what a person makes of it. It’s about people and not about the place. The hostel or the quarters that we loved so much and considered as our homes or the school we were so “at-home” with is no longer the same. Go back to your school after years, you will find that the teachers are different, the setting is different and the mood is different. It is no longer yours. It is all about people and not the place.
Patna- my hometown, where my grandparents lived- both sets. I have always loved to holiday at my maternal grandparents’ home. Whereas if we were to stay at my paternal grandparents’ home, separated by 15-20 minutes drive and a railway crossing (bridge today) from maternal home, I used to not be very pleased. It’s not that I hated being there. Children don’t do hate. They just don’t enjoy or like things very much. I had a lot of affection for my grandparents but just that I enjoyed my stay in the maternal home more- why, would be a subject of another post.
In 2006, my Mom who had just moved over to the paternal home a year back after Dad’s retirement invited us to come over for a 2 month stay as I was on my maternity leave. To tell you the truth, I was apprehensive. For one thing, I hadn’t been there for a stay since perhaps 1996 after my grandma’s death and after grandpa died the house was put up for rent and I had taken a flying visit in 2004 just to look up the place and get the mangoes plucked. The place was in a mess. The tenants had mucked up the entire house and it looked dreary and not at all inviting.
Moreover there had been thefts atleast three times and I was not the least bit comfortable about going there. Infact for atleast 2 years I had pestered my parents to sell the place and look for a place in Delhi or Chennai. I simply did not want to visit them in Patna.
My mom assured me that we will like being there. With many grains of salt and doubts I went to Patna for a holiday with the kids (the husband joined later on). The true meaning of home is what people make of it dawned on me then. Mom had really in the words of my Dad's sister - “naksha badal diya thaa”- she had changed the whole house and made it ergonomically and aesthetically sensible and inviting.
The front balcony was grilled for safety and a mini sitting area created there with garden chairs and table. The drawing room had 2 sofa sets and carpet instead of the usual 6 chairs in my grandma’s time. The inner lobby was recreated with a study table, diwan and a book case converted into showcase/ crockery rack and decorative stuff on the top. All rooms were furnished with beds & curtains. The kitchen was redone with marble and the kitchen top extended to create more workspace. The store area was provided with a small table for placing stuff and a larder in addition to the shelves that were already there. The table was also used as a mini dining area by my kids last year. The dining room was redone- putting a crockery rack, a diwan because the huge dining room was also a socialization centre, tables for electrical equipment. The puja area was shifted from the dining room floor to the bedroom – a mini puja area created using a small cupboard. The backyard was cleaned up and plants planted. The bathrooms were redone and geysers, A/C and inverters provided. Mom made the best of waste and impressed people with the way she utilized space. The place is today much live-able and I look forward to going there now. Only thing I need to be smart enough to go in winter or pre-winter to escape load shedding and the heat! Adding to the pluses of a comfortable home which is not stifling like an apartment, I had never realized the huge shopping potential the place had. I have lightened my bank balance the last 3 visits I have done, to a great extent. You would have read about it. Let’s face it- Patna doesn’t have fast food joints, good restaurants but I binged on Mithais, home cooked food from parents & grandparents /Mama-Mami’s homes and had a lot of Bihari home-made snacks. Patna does not have branded wear or shopping malls but I freaked out on Saris, dress material and cheap but decorative sandals. As you know, take me to any part of the world and I can manage to shop, I more than managed there.

Another Role to Play

Yesterday afternoon I made my first client visit stepping into the shoes of the outgoing Account Manager. I have been nursing hopes of doing Account Management for the last 9 years. This company has placed their trust on me to handle this major account from the development side. I am not expected to do the complete sales role but only interact with R&D for development projects. Actually a sort of extension of my current role in Marketing for this particular category.
Nevertheless, I will be the face of my company for the development arm, a role which a Sales person traditionally handles. So ultimately I get the best of both worlds- Marketing- the role that I love and where my skills lie, and Account Management- something that I have been dreaming off both as an experience and as a notch to add on my resume and also to test myself and my capabilities.
For I am aware that Sales is a dirty role.
For starters it comes with the baggage of sorting out a lot of logistic issues- you cannot just meet clients and send reports- all the dirty job of tax forms, forecasting, order processing, follow ups fall on you.
You have to show your teeth to the client inspite of the fact that you really want to grind your teeth on their face. You need to bear with courage and politeness even if the client is abusive and using filthy language for you or your organisation. You need to make a hundred calls and run after the client for minor feedbacks. You cannot blame them if they don't give a feedback but they & your team will definitely blame you for not collecting feedback. You have to arbitrate between the organisation you represent and the client who believes you are on their side. A friend once mentioned- serving 2 masters is the phrase.
In that regard I am lucky that only the glamorous part has fallen in my lap. By default & design. As I mentioned, I was the logical choice to take up this role because of my current capacity in which I am handling the same category in which this client is present.
My first visit in this capacity yesterday. I got a taste of what it is all about. The client took my class in terms of voicing out all the grievances and complaints they had against us. Some valid some not at all valid but I had to agree to all of them, this being my first visit.
On the positive side, I managed to probe and sort of elicit a brief from them for one of their large brands. Touch Wood.
Wish me luck. As I mentioned, I had been hoping for this role for a long time. My understanding of the product and the business was high in my previous company but I was never rewarded with a role in Sales, something everyone who knew me knew that I had been hoping for. I was never considered good enough for wearing an Account Manager's hat and they never never gave me the chance to test their theory.
With my comparatively low level of understanding of our product in this company, I am allowed to play the role which is crucial, this being a big account for us. I am truly thankful and grateful.

Woman Chases a Man Down the Road

I turned my car into the road that leads to the main road. In front of me a number plate comes into focus- 6363. That had a familiar ring to it. I check the car- a grey colour wagonr. But off course, this was our classmate JS. I honked repeatedly to catch his attention and waved with my hands out of the window hoping that he would see his rear view mirror. No luck. He turned right into the main road and so did I. I chased his car till the intersection. Good Luck! It was a red signal. Oh No! He was taking a U-turn and I was to take the right turn. No problem. I will follow suit. Let me chase him down. I could always take another left turn and be back on track towards home. I followed his car still honking and waving and tried calling my husband to get JS on the line and tell him I am following his car (I didn't have JS' number). But before my husband could pick up the phone, we reached the red light and I drew my car next to his. The windows were tinted and I couldn't see a thing. I inched along and looked through the front windshield. To my shock it was someone else. Meanwhile husband picked up the phone.
What is JS' car number?
6336, why?
No, I just thought I saw his car, bye!

Tell Me

Please solve my doubts...
1. If one is wearing a black shirt and another a white one and sleeping at night with the lights off, will the mosquitoes bite the one wearing white or black?
2. At the age of 2 plus, is it ok not to force feed kids if they are absolutly, stubbornly refusing? Especially if you realize that they have had some fruits, bread, biscuits & juice over the last 3 hours.
3. If one parent is scolding the kids, should the other parent or any other person present intervene if tke kids look up to the others to "save them/ support them"?
Especially when the naughty fellows are able enough to tell that the other guy did the mistake.
4. Does a diet which include 2 meals of milk (kheer/ cornflakes etc) and 1 glass of milk at bedtime suffices as "enough milk gone in the system" or more is needed?
5. Is it ok to give more than 1 egg per day to kids of 2 plus years?
6. Is it ok to give non veg (fish) everyday to the kids of this age group? Is sea fish better or river fish?
7. Is it ok to top milk with stuff like chocolate powder/ malt beverages at 2 plus age? Most malt beverages do not recommend to be given below 3 years old. Is it better to allow them to get used to plain milk at this stage?
8. Is coffee or tea ok for 2 plus age group? When is it ok?
9. Is powder milk better than the dairy wallah milk packets? I know that milk packets are also pasteurised but I have people putting doubts in my mind.
10. What fruits can be eaten at night- banana? grapes? Or is there no specific time for fruits to be eaten?
11. Can lettuce be eaten at night?
12. Is honey good or bad for kids stomach- studies say it is good for the stomach but a doc told me not to give during diarrhea. Also someone else told me that honey precipitates loose stools and the net says honey helps during diarreah. Who is right?
13. If the kids sleep after a light dinner of dosa/ roti-veggi around say 10 pm and a glass of milk at around 11 pm and wake up next day at 9 am- does it mean I am not feeding them enough and they must be under-nourished and poor things they must be suffering from hunger pangs? Especially because until last month they were used to getting a bottle feed at around 7 am in their sleep. I tried changing it to spoon feeding them milk while they were sleeping so that the stomach is not very empty when they wake up but they simply turned and slept on their tummies. So I gave up after 2 days and began giving them breakfast the moment they woke up. Is topped the morning milk feed all together. Am I right in doing it? They are not cracnky at all infact they are taking their breakfast with more eagerness.
14. Last Dec onwards they were doing their potty / susu in their baby pottys. From last month we hid their potties and started forcing them to use the toilet. They refused to use the western loo even with the baby seat but are ok using the Indian one. But they started constipating- they would go every alternate day and are not at all regular (earlier they used to go every morning). Now I am being blamed for spoiling their routine- by removing the potty and also by removing the bottle so that they are not getting enough milk and are constipating. Where am I going wrong. Is in't it time they get used to adult loo? They will be going to school soon. School will definitely ensure they get used to loos but travelling is tough until they get used to doing in adult loos.

Snatches of Conversations

Isn't it like the Lilypie pic

Dadda- Tejas, Dadda massage

Tejas- No, Eshu tired!

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Me- Eshu give me kissie

Tejas obliges.

Me- Eshu, one last kissie

Tejas- No, last kissie no! No kissie

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As we were walking into food court of Ascendas building, I tell Ojas- Wipie. (meaning wipe your feet). I wiped my feet to demonstrate

Ojas did not notice me wiping my feet and he simply wiped his hands on my kurta in response.

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Tejas - Mausi paani, Mausi hand wash, Mausi bathroom etc....

Mausi- Ask your Mamma

Tejas- No, Mamma tired.

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We went to Coffee Day last evening. We ordered a strawberry frappe for the kids and Hubby ordered a green apple soda. Tejas tried attacking the green apple and hubby told him, no baby juice is coming. Undeterred, Tejas finished up the green apple and once done exclaimed- Now, baby juice ok!

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Nani- Ojas give kissie

Ojas- No, kissie Evening

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Whenever Ojas refuses food, I tell him "Mamma Going" and pretend to walk out of the house. Initially he used to get scared and start eating obediently

Nowdays the moment I get thir food Ojas says- Mamma going?

Or if Tejas does not eat, Ojas says- Eshu, eat, Mamma going!

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I ask Ojas, Some more duddu?

Ojas- No, enough!

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Ojas goes to the dustbin and peels a banana. He throws one section of the peel in the dustbin and says- wait! some more!

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Tejas loves doing double riding on Ojas' cycle.

He was begging Ojas for "double" and Ojas was giving him the royal ignore. After much persuading, he relented saying- ok, only one

After one round, he shoved him off the cycle.

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I was going to the bathroom

Ojas asked- mamma going?

I said- yes

Ojas- Bye (he knew I will be gone for a while I guess!) , then for good measure he added- chip, chocate (get chips & chocolate- something he tells us everytime we go out)

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Tejas pretends to switch off the light switch on his book.

And then says- Sleep

Blogging From Mumbai

Waiting at the airport Coffee Day Lounge. Treating myself to a chicken club sandwich and tall glass of frappe. The club sandwich here is a must try- oodles of cheese & mayo with chunks of chicken and absolutely bround bread, generous amount. Half way into it I am already full. I don't think I can do a dessert now.
The day was perfect as of now. Touche'
Watched rerun of airtel darde disco & koffee with karan and a CID episode on Jet.
Had a lovely Mc Meal- the one in which you get 2 toys free.
The presentation went off well without hitches and a lot of praise from the client for the efforts and the good work done- he mentioned it was worth the wait, inspite of us being late with getting all global products. Let's hope it translates to good briefs and business from the client.
A thought- do you think kids sense that the Mom is going on a trip? The little ones jumped on my trying-to- sleep form for almost an hour after the lights were off and woke me thrice for "susu" & "paani" - a record so far. Tejas insisted on sleeping with the handbag I had packed for next day and Ojas insisted on putting the string of a drawstring pouch round his neck while sleeping. Not to forget that each of them were having coins in their hands. I could not take a wink until I had persuaded them to remove them and sleep and until I had removd all coins from their reach. When I woke up at 5 am, I took both of them for toilet visits and inspite of that, half an hour later, Tejas woke up crying 'susi'. Ojas woke up screaming. I had a tough time putting them back to sleep.
Bought an auto & bus toy each and a small basket yesterday for them to carry their wares. They loved both public transports. Infact they slept with them yesterday and I had a tough time pulling out toys from under my bum or back everytime I shifted.
Adding to the height of blog commitment- I was downloading data sitting in client's office right before the meeting. I could not resist checking the blog and very much wanted to do a mini post. Unfortunately the client came and we had to enter for the meeting.
The only blip for the day is that my phone is acting strangely. I can hear people who call but they cannot hear me. So all my planned phone calls to Mumbai friends are gone and I am resorting to blogging.
The client's office had people dressed up in their holi best- lovely ethnic kurta pajamas. Extremely nostalgic moment for me- who hasn't enjoyed a proper Holi for years.
Reminds me of 2005 when Good Friday & holi came back to back. We had discovered the existence of the twins on Good Friday- 25th March when we went for the consultation after doing the home test a week before. The next day was Holi and my apartment friends had forced a treat out of us in our home. We had got takeaways and I had gone to sleep out of legitimate exhaustion before the party was over. The ladies had very sweetly completly cleaned up before leaving!

Polythene Packets

I confess I have a fetish for polythene bags. I swear it is hereditary. Runs in the family. Infact the affection for shirt dabbas also run in my family. My uncle used to joke that if there are 2 shirts to choose from, my grandpa will pick the one that has the better box.
Inspite of all the hulla I do on being environment friendly and refusing polybags whenever possible, old habits die hard. I cannot resist a good poly-bag sometimes. And after the kids, the ordinary opaque white ones have served me well as trash bags.
The choices are limitless. You have the thin noisy ones that will wake up a sleeping child. They get worn out pretty soon and you cannot re-use them for too long. Then there are the waxy finish ones which have a smooth feel and pastel shades. They look sophisticated and are ideal to put gifts in, despite the name of the shop printed on them. I personally love the pastel shade sixth sense shop bags. The good quality thick glossy plastic bags given by men's clothing stores especially are highly durable and stay fresh for long.
It takes me a lot of time to pick up the right polybag whenever needed. The lovingly and carefully sorted and folded bags placed safely in the cupboards out of the reach of greedy polybag hunters. I face an emotional situation everytime I have to part with one. Each bag has a story to tell. Memories are evoked when one chances upon a long preserved bag, guess works are done as to how the bag found its way into the house, what was purchased, where is that item now. I once used a shopping bag to trace the phone number of the shop in question.
Paper bags of Fab India have a great feel-good factor. The crisp brown-paper smell, and the stiffness of the bag- 2 factors that work in favour of them, but very low durability. The Titan bags are lovley for that matter but for the size.
I once bought a diamond ring from Ishi's. They gave me a stiff plastic tote bag in white and purple that I still cherish.
Jute bags of the Nalli variety offer great utility value but for the looks. I prefer the Hidesign drawstring cloth/ satin bags and make it a point to ask for them everytime I purchase something at Casablanca, Pondy. Unlike the Nallis they do not discriminate between value of purchase and the bag they give. Cottons in Gurgaon pack the purchases in cotton drawstring pouches of several patterns and sizes. A Singaporean colleague carefully selected patterns and colour combinations for the gifts she purchased for her family.
The Metro shoe bags serve the purpose of packing my sandals while travelling.
I even had a mini argument with a stall owner in the craft fair at Kalakshetra for not giving me his memento cloth bag for my purchase!
I guess the love for poly bags could be a starting point of what develops as a fetish for handbags, purses, wallets etc at a higher level! That explains why I am always in search for the perfect handbag.

Train to My Destination

There is something about the train whistles in a fast moving train amidst a green foresty landscape that makes me go weak in the knees. They sound romantic and thrilling, mysterious and exciting, makes me feel part of some action, dynamic and ever-changing. The rhythmic chug chug of the wheels on the tracks and the musical whistle sound to go with it and a view from the open window... My idea of bliss.
The typical Bihari style poori-aloo bhunjiya and mango pickle were our inevitable train dinners. Sometimes a well garnished chole with raw onions and lemon replaced the bhunjiya and a boiled egg accompanied the dinner. Open the packed dinner and all the aroma trapped in the headspace of the pack hits the senses automatically generating a larger appetite. Mom recalls we both sisters finished the entire stock of pooris in one go and there was nothing left for her. From then on she made it a point to pack extra. Smart Tip- she makes the dough using milk instead of water. The pooris stay good for even 2 days.
Solo or in a group, I have never had a problem with passing time- I can spend endless hours day dreaming, looking out of the window and I really do not need the company of co-passengers. I have carried a stack of books and spent the entire 2 days on the top berth because there was absolutely no space on the lower berths. I have carried cuttings of Hindu crossword to solve on the train. I can do without company unless they are really interesting or perhaps I can be a mute listener. Pearls of wisdom are doled out by great individuals during long train journeys. Heated discussions over political parties, corruption, strategic plans to revolutionize India, technical knowledge, trivias on trains and the inevitable discussion on the eccentricities of each state. Discussion groups are formed, sides are taken, great singers collaborate to form instant bands using available surfaces for background music and several card games are played.
Nothing beats a sleeper class window seat. The panorama of view streaming by, the blast of cool air hitting the face and sunlight brightening the compartment, not to forget the innumerable purchase opportunities at each station. A/C coaches take 75% of the fun away from the train journey. You can't bargain with the hawker in peace, the coach is always dark and there is absolutely no scope of fresh air. The only bright spots are hassle free journey with no one trying to wriggle into your seat whether you are asleep or awake, no need to carry extra baggage of blankets during winter, marginally better security, slightly better service with less incidents of water getting exhausted, relatively cleaner toilets and no stinky sweating in summer. These hygeine factors make me book A/C coaches every time I travel.
Last December I took my first train journey after 2004. And to think I have been doing train journeys ranging from once a year during work life to atleast 3 times a year to & fro during hostel days. Time constraints and logistic problems with the kids make me go for the boring and regimental air travel each time. You pay a hell lot of money and then you need to arrive an hour in advance else thy may not allow you to board. You take a little extra luggage on you and you end up paying a hefty price for it, you need to sit cramped into a small space, rupee by rupee you get a comparitively bigger space in the train. You need to consume the lousy refreshments on board- for that same amount you could have eaten a large buffet. The airhostess will disturb you for juice and candies even if you have dozed off and by the time you catch up on your 40 winks, it's time to put your seat in upright position.
If only we had better and faster trains, I would have loved journeying on them.

Don Pepe on Saturday

Mexican outfit at Cathedral Road, right above Hot Breads. Housed in Copper Chimmney & Zaras building.
Semi casual ambience. Like a cross between a Cascade and Pizza Hut. A stained glass window on the floor gives a view of Hot breads below.
We tried 5 diffrent steaks- served with either pasta & bread or Mexican rice.
At about Rs 250 average, each stake is good enough for 1 plus persons.
Plenty of chicken on each plate, little rice/ pasta and potato fries/ 2 slices garlic bread.
The apple pie is a must have. So also brownie with icecream. The desserts were a little over priced though. Dinner for 5 plus 2 kids worked out for Rs 1800/-
We ordered chicken wings and Eshan ordered a 2nd plate as soon as it was over.
They got their individual plastic mugs to sip water.

Work Politics

What would you do if you come to know from the client that your meeting has been postponed, I hope your Account Manager has informed you? First you try to brush it aside saying he must be busy, he will call me. Then the client makes it a point to tell you that I informed him 3 hours ago. You can't fool a client who worked in your company with the same Account Manager a few years back. So now, the internal politics are out in the open.
Time for ITW to stand up and raise her voice. She calls up the bosses and updates them. She is asked to take the account manager's pants off in a conference meeting with the Sales head and entire Marketing team.
He has done this before. He pushed me to get samples from abroad last year. He fudged dates- altered his previous mail in a new forwarded mail and thankfully I had the good sense to check the original and report to the boss. He never presented the cracker samples to the client and told me that he wanted to give it due importance. I will present it separately. I am still waiting for the presentation to happen.
He did it again. He never informed the client that a team from Head office is travelling for this meeting. He infact mentioned that ITW is coordinating for samples, not making the concept presentation. He wanted me to leave behind extra set of samples to show to another client. I refused to let him peddle it anywhere until I make the presentation fit for the new client.
Is it not urgent & important to inform me that the meeting is postponed, right away? More so because I am booking tickets and hotel too. He also asked me if I have grabbed portions from a Global presentation? WTF? Does he think I am like him? He infact presented a complete presentation from his previous company to our clients! Without bothering to remove the logo! Cheat, but cheat intelligently.
We had a session with him this morning to sort out issues. He said that he forgot to raise the project in the intranet for the creative to take charge, I could have called him to remind him. He asked me why I didn't update him on the status at various stages. I told him I forgot, but you could have reminded me, I am just a phone call away. Aren't we quits! This time I played the game by his rules. Never call him, never update him until he asks for it. He never fixed the meeting date until I called him and reminded him. And since his Global boss was coming, he decided to prove a point to him and rush me on my presentation and do it before he arrives, to look good in front of his boss.
I told my boss clearly, if he would have taken me into confidence and asked me to bail him out on this one, I would have gladly obliged. Instead he tried to push me to the corner, shifted the blame on me and never kept me in the know. Then I pay him back in his coin.
Afterall I am a Leo, I have to live up to a reputation. And I am taking lessons from my Scorpio sons to pay him tit for tat.