Dedications- Humour in the Family & Office

For those who missed them, You could read the first 2 parts here & here

Humour in the Office

We were at a training session in Rain Tree. We had booked a conference hall and the package included cost of lunch. Since it was 10 am by the time we started some of us ordered for coffee for which the company would pay separately. A few minutes later, the boss walks in. We suggested that he could take coffee if he wished to.

MS to the Boss- you can take but it is not included in the package, we have to pay for it.
Boss (Poor Guy!!)- If everyone is having coffee then why should I miss out! I also want one….

MS-Who is the Father of nation
Me- Gandhi
MS- Who is the Mother of nation
Me- ??Kasturba??….
MS- No – Mother Teresa

We buy hair swatches for our shampoo/ hair oil evaluation process wherein you have to smell the hair and give the feedback
I was queasy about touching that hair and evaluating
MS- why are you worrying, I have washed that hair swatch so well and so many times –I can assure you even that person would have not washed it so well when it was there on her head.

Does it change things?????

MS - my ex-colleague

Humour in the Family
N- Mom has got 6 mangoes. Each of us will eat one.
She takes one and gives another one to P. N finishes her portion and goes off. P continues to eat
After an hour N finds P still eating
N- how dare you eat another mango, followed by one mild slap.
P- crying.. this is the same one I am eating.

Setting- The family is sitting one afternoon and chatting
Ru- Anise is supposed to improve your memory
Everyone- yes our memories are getting really weak nowadays
Then each one relates her experience of failing memory. After about half and hour
N- You know someone told me someday that anise is very good for your memory
Ru- I said! Half an hour ago

N & P – my mom & her sister, Ru- their SIL/ My aunt

Sh to M- Can you get me a summer project in your company
M- Ok, send your CV to my colleague in Delhi branch with a cc to me.
After a few days-M’s colleague to M- Sh’s mobile number is not accessible
M calls up Sh who is sleeping in her hostel at that time- Hey you have given your old mobile no in your CV
Sh- half asleep- how do you know? And how come you have my new number. (Conclusion- when they are half asleep, some people ask silly questions instead of answering the question they have been asked)
M-helpfully- Ok I will ask my colleague to call you on this number and you change your number on your CV
Sh- Ok, ask her to call after 5.00 pm, I am sleeping now.
M- ???? I thought you wanted the project

M- my sister, Sh- my cousin

Uncle to R my brother when he was young- Do you know the meaning of puling- streeling (meaning masculine & feminine gender resp)
R- I know the meaning of puling not streeling- puling means apney taraf kheechna
(one pulling someone else towards one’s direction)

This one makes me sentimental-

My paternal grandma to R my brother when he was young- When you will grow older I will select your bride
R- How come? You would have died by then?

R- my brother

R my cousin leaves a super clean plate on the rack next to the kitchen sink
Maid begins to keep it on the plate rack
R- arree don’t keep it there, wash it first, I had eaten in that plate.

On another similar occasion R’s wife D tells the maid who is watching in obvious disbelief at R’s ultra clean plate- please clear R’s plate. He has in fact finished eating

R’s son A wants to go out of the car while we are driving. His ploy to get him out real fast- Mummy, susu potty jaana hai…meaning I want to pee and poop….

R wanted to take his son to an amusement Park. We went to VGP. After we finished enjoying (?) the meager entertaining facilities of the park, I asked him how he liked it.
R- I was amused

R’s wife D- Kehte hai (It is believed that …)
R- hold on, if she starts a sentence with “it is believed that..” it means she does not know who said it, there is no proof that it is true and she has never experienced it first hand.

R -my cousin


Grandpa to R my brother on his anniversary (within earshot of my Grandma)- If I had seen your grandma before marriage I would have never married her
Grandma- looks at Grandpa with disdain (he had got a boil on his foot a week ago and was somewhat limping)- Huh, who would have married this lame fellow anyway!

Grandpa & Grandma went jewelry shopping for the anniversary gift for Grandma
Grandma likes one ring and asks Grandpa- What is your budget for the gift
Grandpa- Rs 10k
Grandma- I like this one which costs Rs 12 K, you pay Rs 10K & I will pay the rest.
They do exactly that- with neither one willing to let go.

K takes Rs 5 from his dad and goes to buy pencils. He spends Rs 3 on pencils, Re 1 on candy and returns Re 1 to his Dad
K’s dad- where is another rupee
K- I spent Rs 4 on pencils
K’s dad gave a tight slap and said next time you must tell the truth. Then I won’t hit you

A few days later K breaks his Dad’s sun glasses while sneaking and playing with it
K boldly walks up to his Dad- I broke it. See I am so truthful
K’s Dad- ???

K- my hubby