Thursday, December 07, 2006
Double Trouble or Double the fun? Smart Ways of Bringing up Twins
I have done a lot of Internet search looking for articles on bringing up twins and have come up with the following pointers that I am trying to follow:
1. Individuality- Never refer to them as a combination like the twins, the boys, the duo, the sisters. Always refer to them by their names. It's fun to dress them alike but sometimes I try not to dress them alike just to protect the individuality. I may use similar styles like T-shirts for both or rompers for both. People more often than not gift identical dresses. I do try to drop heavy hints to do otherwise!
2. First among Equals - Don’t follow the same order while referring to them nor designate one as older. Try to reverse the order too. Especially in c- section, the difference is usually a minute. Refrain from forcing one to call the other bhayia, didi etc. Help them adopt a non –hierarchical reference or use the name.
3. Birthday Parties- Have individual cakes for each of them and insist on the birthday song being sung twice. Record for whom it was done first and the next year cut the cake for the other one first. (I was unable to do this as each cake was of 2 kg owing to the shapes I wanted and since there were 2 parties and I wanted the cake to be cut during both, and more than 4kg of cake was not desirable so I had to make do with 2 cakes only and both cut the same cake both times)
4. During rituals and ceremonies don’t always have the same fellow being attended to first.
5. When someone asks who is the smarter one or who is your favourite- never give a clear answer. Be non-committal
6. Don’t compare them in any aspect or say one is good and the other is being bad
7. Don’t promote rivalry. Some people give one toy to one of them and wait for the other to react by crying or snatching. But true that they often try to fight for the same piece after comparing two identical pieces. In that case, divert their attention
8. They are not parts of a whole but individuals as well.
9. Milestones- May not be same for both.
a. Tejas started walking last month after many days of attempting to walk. But Ojas got up and started walking all of a sudden yesterday.
b. Similarly Tejas got 4 teeth all together in August, and Ojas has 1 full, 1 half & 1 emerging tooth.
c. Ojas imitates us in whatever we do and Tejas only smiles, albeit picks it up later from Ojas.
10. Illness- when 1 gets the other will soon follow so precautions have to be appropriate.
11. Sometimes I feel I have not paid attention to one of them the whole day may be if the other one is ill or cranky. I try not to feel guilty as I went by need of the child for that particular day.
High chair- The high chair is serving the purpose of feeding and generally seating them
However despite being strapped they stand up on the chair. Quite dangerous hence back to the bouncers…
Bath Tub- a little late in the day – gift from grandparents- they are enjoying the group bath, yes even the finger pointing is happening!! Ojas enjoys lying flat in the tub and “back float”- off course- need to be careful
Tri Cycle- even before they have started walking, grandparents have gifted them. For starters they are sitting on them with support and pressing the control button to switch on the song and lights. Both like to hang on to the same cycle inspite of having 2 of the same kind. One sits on it and the other holds on to the handle to watch the lights