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Monday, May 21, 2007

A child hugs you only if you deserve it!

I love the feel of the babies curled up against me. Ojas likes to laze around for a while after he wakes up. So I hug him from behind while he lies down staring into space, deep in thought(?), and blinking at regular intervals, his lashes sweeping on his cheeks. I savour those few moments of cuddling he allows me to have. I bury my nose into his neck or hair and enjoy the cuddle the few moments it lasts. A little later he becomes alert and sings a few words from his self composed song- pucha pucha…and then stands up and tries to wake up his bhai.

Tejas on the other hand will never reward me with a cuddle. He will lie straight, stiffen his legs and cry. This is a signal for me to give him his feed. The reward I get by relenting is his little body curling up against me while he feeds. If I happen to lie on the bed he assumes that I want to feed him and he in turn starts either pulling at my clothes or takes up the afore mentioned position. He blissfully closes his eyes and feeds while Ojas watches apparently curious and amused. Ojas has completely forgotten that 4 months ago, he was doing exactly the same thing. He likes to put his head against my tummy and Tejas copies him too.

I feel that it is about time that he weans off. I have been on 2 overnight trips hoping that when I am back he would have weaned off. But he simply continues from where he left. Sometimes I wonder whether I am sincere enough in my attempts to wean him off. SM mentions that it was she who needed to be weaned off and not her baby/ I realize that she is right. Tejas likes to feed when he is sleepy or feeling whiny or cranky. Sometimes this is the only way we can stop him from crying. It is comfortable for me since I do not need to do the extensive butt patting to make him sleep but a few minutes of feed does the trick. Even if he wakes up in the middle of the night, this is the easiest option to comfort him. I do not want to let go of this comfort. At an emotional level, I am possessive about this exclusive experience with Tejas and it also gives me an excuse to be able to hug him.

I have already noticed a little bit of discomfort he is showing while nursing. He is much more playful about it and also attempts to change his posture while at it. Perhaps he is getting ready to wean himself off. So the mantra I am following is, don’t force the issue. Probably he is a little insecure since I am not there at home all day and this is his method of possessively curling up to me. I notice he is a little more possessive as he tries to bag a place in my lap if he notices Ojas coming near me or me picking up Ojas. (Vice versa also true but not as often).
I am going to enjoy this while it lasts and until he is read to let go completely.

But any suggestions to a quick wean off would help any case…

8 comments:

Hip Grandma said...

No need to rush things.The children know when to let go.Enjoy the day while you can.

artnavy said...

i agree with hhgmom

loved the couple one- comical as it sounds it can really be great cause for irritation

so much catching up with older
posts i have to do.....

theanalogkid said...

thats the best title for a post .. EVER ! :)

Kodi's Mom said...

Tejas likes to feed when he is sleepy or feeling whiny or cranky

ditto with K. and also when he's hungry. so I either direct him to other food sources or offer plain water. usually works. the crankiness almost always has some other cause behind it - boredom, frustration etc..so I try to handle that before giving in.
And yes, this is so much easier, esp during sickness! SM said it right - weaning begins w/ the mother!

Orchid said...

hmmm...can't be of much help in this matter

Sunita said...

:) Oh I am working at the same problem currently. But as you said, nursing seems lot easier than patting, singing, thumping her to sleep.

SM said...

Wonderfully written Itchy!
I thought Ananya would be extremely weaning resistant. Given that she loved to nurse when she was sleepy, cranky, bored, hungry...I was under the impression that it would be tough to get her off and so I took the easy way out-postponed it. I had figured I would probably leave her with my mom for a couple of days and that would do the trick. For various reasons that wasn't feasible. So I had to own up the responsibilty. I wanted to stop mainly because she refused to take regular milk since she knew she had a backup. Anyways, one fine day I stopped feeding her in the day and and told her 'dudhu khatam', she understands the word. She fussed a little for 2 days but then forgot about it. I gave her milk in a glass before naps. Then over a week I weaned her completely. It wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be. Obviously I underestimated her.
It was easier, i think, because putting her to bed wasn't difficult to begin with. Generally I lie down next to her and pat her for a few minutes and she's out.
Sorry, this is almost a mini post.

How do we know said...

Thanks sm for that tip!