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Thursday, May 17, 2007

Why Couples Fight?

The dirtier fighter is the one who refuses to fight at all.
Ha! I do enjoy a good, full blown quarrel which lets out steam and bottled up filth. There are times when I am really spoiling for a fight. I goad hubby into arguing back with what I think as his baseless arguments. And in reward, I get to use the choicest of vocabulary, sarcasm and bring forth all complaints. Sometimes the fights get so muddled up that we forget what the issue was.

What annoys her
Lack of Appreciation- Face it; she likes to be appreciated, even if she has blended watermelon juice. And if you garnish it with “you make it better than Mom” she is your slave for life. But the problem is that the “he” species does not want to say it and get into trouble.
Lack of vocal indication of undying love- She knows it but he still must say it again. His logic, well I am living with her so isn’t it obvious?
Maid did not come- This upsets the orderly running of the household and to make things worse he seems unaffected by it. Now, that irritates.
Silent treatment- he appears to be apparently unconcerned about silent treatment or sometimes unaware that the operation is on.
The wet towel on bed and newspaper all over the place factor- yes, it is a big deal for her. It grosses her out, while he feels that instead of cribbing about it she should remove it herself. Say please, she might soften but don’t assume that if he says “why can’t you do it”, she will feel guilt ridden and do it.
Untimely Humour- She is hopping mad about something and he dares to laugh it off.
Gadget affliction-if not cricket, there is football to watch, or the conference call on mobile phone or pending work on the laptop. She wants to talk and he responds in monosyllables as his prime occupation could be any one of the 3 above.

What annoys him
1. Non-cooperation- he has suddenly decided to cook something or clean the house and wants her to cut all ingredients and give to her or help him in the cleaning. She refuses to cooperate. Her logic, cooking includes cutting, preparation & cleaning.
2. Apparent Nagging- when she asks him to do something that faintly resembles multi tasking- like buying vegetables on the way back from work, keeping an eye on the kids while watching TV or ensuring that the kid doesn’t pull down most of the items placed too close to the edge of the kitchen table while he decides to make juice for the whole family that blue moon day. He claims he is engrossed, she feels he is plain careless or unconcerned.
3. Perfectionism- She insists that the photo frame has to be placed at that particular angle or only a specific size of potatoes has to be bought or a trip has to be planned down to the smallest detail like who will carry which bag.
4. Taking a long time to get ready- He can never understand the importance of not repeating attire or wearing the right coloured hair clip or sandals.
5. Solicited advice that is never taken- Why does she ask which outfit suits her best in a shop and then buys something which he ruled out in the first place.
6. Faux Dieting- He orders coffee/ coke / dessert hinting heavily that he doesn’t want to share this time. She refuses vehemently but digs into it all the same.
7. Control Freak- She stops him from drinking, smoking, night out with guys. Her logic, it is for his good she stops him. He thinks she is exercising control. She wants him by her side rather than spend time with his friends. He feels he deserves to do his own things sometimes


Kodi's Mom said...

is this ur list or a list based on ur observations? imo, its hard to generalize something like fighting btn couples - for instance, in my case, the wet towel factor goes under 'what annoys him' :)

Orchid said...

:)...i knwo you were writing about you two but a lot of things happen int he orchid household too, so I say amen to that!

Tharini said...

LOL...a comprehensive list as any. :) Could totally relate to the What annoya her bit!

Krishnapriyacr said...

awwww Itchy! I would substitute the he for she and vice versa in my case!! I am the lazy slob while he is the cleanliness perfectionist!!

itchingtowrite said...

u guys r right.. mostly by my observations and what the close friends say./.. since i saw a lot of commonalities between mine and the other friends i thought i cud largely generalise it..

Kowsalya Subramanian said...

What annoys her - excatly matches with mine.. Selfish I am that I don't care for "what annoys him".. :)

SM said...

Apparent nagging,faux dieting, untimely!
itchy, u've done it again! Wonderful post!

Just like that said...

Could so relate to your posts on both sides. Lol

Just like that said...

Could so relate to your posts on both sides. Lol

Collection Of Stars said...

You got it absolutely right :)

Ruchika said...

Oh the great divide between men and women!! Will it ever get bridged?!! I sometimes feel scared about stuff like this which comes after marriage!! Hmmm...

Btw, do you mean to say sometimes fighting is therapeutic?! Hehehe.. sounds good!

Alan said...

Humorous post showing the view from both sides. Guess we're pretty lucky or just extremely compatible. I can only remember a couple of disagreements during the past 21 years.