Dizzy Heights-3, Addendas

Height of Association- Ojas says “Thaa” for Kutta (dog). I tied up my hair high on my head with a clip and he pointed at it and said thaa thaa

Height of Starting Early- They don’t know how to walk properly but love to sit on their tricycle (gift from grandma)

Height of (Dis)advantage- Ojas crawling away in top speed with a toy and Tejas following him-haltingly walking

Height of Dodge- Tejas playing with the cordless phone and when he saw Ojas coming to snatch it, he pushes the mobile cover towards Ojas for him to play with it.

Height of Dodge 2- Both playing with cordless phone. Tejas happens to get the one that does not work; he throws it away and snatches the one that Ojas is having. Ojas refuses to give so Tejas surreptitiously pushes the phone that is not working towards Ojas and confuses him and snatched the good piece

Height of Socializing- Both sitting and drinking from their bottles and towards the end both drink bottoms up.
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Addenda to Only in Bihar
1. Chain pronounced like Man means Zip (pronounced as Jip)
2. When they say switch on the Mercury (pronounced- Mer-Ka-ree) they mean switch on the tubelight- wonder how I could forget that – I almost laughed out loud when I thought of it.
3. Glass (tumbler) is pronounced as Gilass
4. Labour means Labourer
5. Tempo means Autorickshaw
6. Ration- pronounced as Raashan means monthly grocery- what's the alternate hindi word for monthly grocery- any one?
7. Kerosene is also called Matti tel literally meaning mud-oil or of course Kiraasan
8. Cycle is pronounced as Cykil
9. Yellow is pronounced Yall-low
10. Funy is pronounced as Fun-nee

Only in Chennai
1. When someone says nice Salwar or nice Churidaar- they mean the Kurta or salwar suit- For very long I use to wonder why people never complimented my kurta but only the salwar
2. If a man and woman are sitting in a bus together it follows that they are husband and wife
3. When they say- you don’t have brine they mean you don’t have brain
4. Everything here is a cover- Envelope, Plastic Bag and the covers..
5. Most flowers are some "malli"
6. You don't put lipstick or nailpolish but wear them
7. I used to laugh when I heard soft drink is called cool drink - in North they are called cold drink

Only in Bengal
1. They don't travel in train without a mug
2. Rubber band is Gudder or gaarder(derived Garter? or Girder?)- anyone please enlighten us
3. In winter,they tie a scarf on their head even while going to the bathroom
4. You is pronounced as iu and We is pronounced as ui
5. And the best part- they serve a good variety of non veg dishes in weddings but if they happen to have a sit and get served system, they will start with lemon, salt, papad and proceed to vegetarian food, rice etc and towards the end only they will serve poori and non-veg in huge quantities- so adjust your eating speed and quantity accordingly
6. Ambassador is pronounced as Am-ba-sadoor (am & ba is slowly and sadoor is very fast)
7. Embroidery is pronounced as ambraidory

When does the cross over to too much/ extreme happens…& Tagged to Create a Scene

1. When every Saturday becomes working day due to work pressure
2. When everyone seems to be taking you for granted
3. When every thing you do seems to be criticised
4. When one (in-house) guest goes and paves the way for another one
5. When you take leave to sack at home and a long lost relative or the (in-law side) relative living in a nearby hostel drops in – believe me it his happened to me
6. When travel extends beyond 2 weeks at a stretch (for hubby)
7. When everyone in the house falls ill one after the other
8. When power supply goes off just for the duration when your favourite program is on TV
9. When your laptop crashes in front of the client
10. When dispatch sends wrong samples to client and advices that we should check the samples before it leaves. Well do I need a change in job description?
11. When deadline from client is yesterday and feedback happens the day after day after (repeat infinity times) tomorrow


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Tagged to Create a Scene
I was tagged by Aashun to write the best scenes I have seen. Well, since i am not too much of a movie critic and like to watch a movie for the fun and entertainment of it without putting too much of grey matter at work on it, I took quite some time to think it up. Like I told him, it was a difficult tag for me.


1. Jaane bhi do yaaron- the finale when the Mahabharat and Ramayana scenes interchange
2. Golmaal- old one- Utpal Dutt chases the eloping couple in his Ambassador- his expressions are world class
3. One fine day- the demure mom dressing up for a “passionate” night with the raunchy- rowdy hero- and the anti-climax
4. Deewar- mere paas maan hai – off course! Not funny to me when I saw that initially but after seeing the rip offs on MTV and the other forwarded SMS etc
5. Masoom- emotional one- when Naseeruddin Shah returns back to the car after supposedly seeing off his son
6. Lagaan- match and the Indian bowlers
7. Catch me if you can & Bunty aur Bubbly- everytime the authorities realize that their man has escaped
8. Namak Halaal- the shoe episode, espisode with the grandfather and his scenes as Shashi Kapoor’s attendant (gatekeeper and all)
9. Yaraana- Amitabh’s Tassshan dress in the song in the stadium- serial lights and all
Well, now the fun (evil look) part
I tag Patti, Art Navy, somethingtosay, analog, la vida

Strange Things that I like

1. Taking leave from office and going shopping/ parlour- playing the truant lends a strange sort of pleasure and excitement to the whole expedition
2. Reaching a destination in less than the usual time- even if it is just a margin of 5 minutes, I feel good
3. Collecting data even if it is not of any use to me- I feel learned after doing it
4. Catching any of my favourite song while channel surfing or on the radio-even if I have it on a CD. Also if I am listening to it on the CD / in the car just before going out, I just cannot switch it off before the entire song is finished playing
5. Changing the monthly calendar page- makes me feel fresh and the new picture gives a good feeling
6. Completing a project much before deadline
7. Buying / eating something at dirt cheap price/ sale/ offer even if I don’t need/ want it- If I don’t want to buy it I like to force someone else to buy it for themselves- gives me a sense of satisfaction that the offer was there and someone utilized it
8. Exhibitions of any kind. Until last year there wasn’t a single one which I had not gone to.
9. Making hubby drop me to work

Readers- you could take it up as a tag!!

Hateful Characters on the Road

Hi Guys
found some time to breathe and therefore a fresh post for the day. Will meet you on your blogs soon
1. Road Hog- drives in the centre of the road and does not allow anyone to pass
2. Zig Zag- drives in zig zag fashion. Very dangerous as the vehicle behind can never know where he will move next
3. Lane Straddler- at a given point of time will occupy 2 lanes, at times even the opposite lane- therefore vehicles on both lanes cannot cross him
4. Trend Setter- his pace- usually extremely slow, will define the speed of the whole queue in narrow roads. Usually a novice. On multi lane roads, he will typically occupy the fastest lane so that he can stay rightmost on the road and no one can overtake him from the right at least.
5. 3-wheeler & their types- I am calling the 3-wheeler auto-rickshaws as a separate category due to their unique characteristics. They encompass all irritating characteristics of other types like staying in the fastest lane even though they should not, not allowing anyone to pass through by zig zagging, filling even the slightest gaps thereby stopping in such a way at signals that one will never know whether they are going front, left, right or backwards. They have the special property of suddenly dashing off into your lane without any warning signal. Even 4-wheelers especially taxis do that as they have nothing to lose – even if their vehicle gets scratched, it does not hurt their sentiments
6. Bus, Truck and the likes- drive on the right lane, are Trend Setter and Road Hog, but they send smoke signals as if they are stranded on a lonely island. Especially in Chennai, the buses stop in the middle of the road some times as that is their designated stop. After halting at a bus stop that is on the left-most side of the road, they behave like auto-rickshaws with a size disadvantage-they suddenly turn sharply to the right into your and all the other lanes when they have to re-start the journey.
7. 2- wheelers- they Zig-Zag, occupy the slimmest gap and while stopping at the signal, position their legs in such a way that it automatically increases the total girth of the vehicle. (I would love to drive my wheel over that right leg that is in my lane!)
8. Clueless- Will decide to turn or not turn at the last moment.
9. Egoist- will not allow any one to overtake by emulating all the characteristics above
10. Cyclops- one-eyed monster- especially dangerous when coming from the opposite direction on it’s rightmost lane and with only the left eye in working condition
11. Diwali Celebrator- Drives in high beam and poses a menace to drivers in the opposite direction. We need to teach them the mnemonic- “high beam is for highway as you have to see far-away and low beam / normal beam is for roads and lanes as you have to see nearby.
12. Ass Kissers- stop so near to the bumper that your car feels (sexually) threatened
13. Passion Killers- they act spoil sport just when you are in the throes of passion- ie you would be accelerating or changing gears and these vehicls would appear from the middle of no where and you will have to reduce your speed and go back to the lower gear
New Company Update
Empty mailbox
Cautious and unsure smiles/ hellos
Curious questions, looks
Some people eager to please, guide and help out
Clueless participation in projects/ conversation
Instructed to follow rules religiously
Unsure on protocols- dress code, address code (Mr/ Name/ Sir/ Madam), Internet code of conduct (indiscriminate vs cautious)

I have already made a few good friends- colleague doing the same function, ex-company club (people who were earlier in my previous company and are now working here), the nice security person who helps me every morning in finding me a parking place and guiding me to park. He strategically places me away from the big bosses’ cars while the other security guys and drivers smile slyly.

First Birthday

How Time Flies...

We celebrated the first birthday on 1st November. Had 2 parties, one for the 50 kids in the apartment complex. Surprisingly managing them was quite easy as we kept the duration very short. Just enough to allow the kids to play 2 games (delegated to 2 of the kids of the complex), participate in cake cutting and eat their chole, bhature, gulabjamun, samosa and cake. We cut the car shaped cake then. We had gift wrapped the return gifts - activity books/ colour pencils etc and labelled them with names of the recievers. We requested the kids themselves to distribute the books and they had a nice time doing so - pretending to be class monitors.

The 2nd party was for around 60 close friends. We cut the mobile phone cake at that time. Surprisingly Ojas (Aryamman) and Tejas (Eshan) were quite cooperative through out. The difficult part was keeping an eye on them while entertaining the guests.

Back home we are surrounded with a room full of gifts, mostly toys and absolutely no space in my home to accomodate them. Hell, I am not going to celebrate another birthday for atleast a year- I vow to myself. Some gifts like colour pencils, building blocks, alphabets, modelling clay are potentially useful, thoughtful and likeable. Among the pothers some are broken, some obviously passed on/ hand me downs, some useful for infants below 6 months, some horribly expensive, some road-side purchases, some totally useless. Without sounding crass and ungrateful, I would like to mention that I have realised that when there is a big party, everyone tries their best to give what they think would be useful to the receiver, who ends up with duplicates and not very useful articles especially where toys are concerned. I mean how many pull alongs, drums or battery operated toys can a child use. I have realised that no matter how one feels that one has selected the right gift for the receiver, a gift voucher or cash in an envelope is most welcome and easy to handle.
A lesson well learnt and I am armed with a gift voucher for the first birthday party that Ojas & Tejas have been invited to today.

Howlers

She- shall we take the fresh cream cake or normal cream cake?
He- Fresh Cream
She- fresh cream cake is more expensive and for the quantities we have to buy, it’s better to buy normal cream
He- no I want to take the best one. No compromises
She- ok, let’s take black forest flavour then
He- Cheee, I hate black forest, so light that you will hardly feel you have eaten anything
She- But you said fresh cream
He- Yes, you use the fresh cream to make cake at home, that’s what I meant
She- Well, black forest is fresh cream cake and more expensive so the best (as per your logic) and normal cream is the ordinary cake and less expensive. Since you said you want the best you should take fresh cream and so black forest (She did not mention chocolate truffle as that is even more expensive and he loves that)
He- Ok we will take normal cream cake


Kid- Aunty I did not get the (return) gift
Aunty- What's your name?
Kid- Akshat
Aunty- Realising that the kid was a guest to the complex and was therefore not invited to the party- Did you eat?
Kid- I did not come to eat, only to take the gift

Since some return gifts were activity books including colouring books and some were colour pencils, some kids came and said- Aunty I got only the books and not the colour pencils!

Aunty- Who won the first game
Kid- Rupa
Aunty- ok, chocolates for whoever won the game
All kids (including those who were not playing)- Aunty I, Aunty I won...

Aunty- Why are you not playing
Kid- I don't want to play
Aunty- Pulling her along- join the game, you will enjoy it
Kid- aunty, actually I am already out (of the game after playing one round)

factual fiction-Pointless Experimentation

She looked at the mirror, putting the finishing touches to her make-up. She realized that she had not worn her earrings. She had removed it last night to clean it up. As she searched in her jewel box for the earring she thought, why not skip wearing it for a day. Will anyone notice it? Will anyone comment? Will I look different? Will it look good not wearing an earring? When I stopped wearing the bindi everyone commented on it but earring? Why not give it a shot.

A week later she still had not worn her earring. Okay, the world has not come crashing down, as I did not wear the earring. No one has asked me so far where my ubiquitous earring is. Nobody has noticed it at all. Not even he who used to object if I did not wear my chain or mangal sutra. As usual he is absorbed in the newspaper.

That is 7 days in a row that she has not worn her earring. Wonder what new style statement this is. First the bindi went off then other chains replaced the mangalsutra. Sometimes she does not wear the chain too and now the earring is suddenly gone. This time I am not going to mention it. Let her explain herself. He turned his attention back to the morning newspaper.

update- after I wrote this, I chanced upon an article that said that in Dhoom II as a style statement they did not use earrings. Shall I start thinking of an alternate career in style industry?