The Scorpios

Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers

Thursday, March 23, 2017

Puns, Jokes and Pertinent Questions

Ojas- Pushp and Suman plucked flowers and then they died. Why?
Me- Why?
Ojas- Because they themselves were pushp and suman.
Hindi Lessons!

Bhishm can marry Satyavati. Problem Solved. Says Ojas when things got complicated with the fisherman Dad of Satyavati. Why didn't we think of that solution?

Tejas- Green house effect should be called red house effect because red is hotter.

Tejas- before going to do the big job- I am going to do excretion - Bio lessons!
Ojas- Mujhe urine aa raha hai.

In a great moment of bonding, we decided to sing to karaoke. I started with Last Christmas.
Tejas- Politely- I think you should try something sung by a woman.
I tried another one, increasing the volume of the TV
Tejas- Let me close the door.

Kids- Open the door, I want to go to susu.
Me- do outside
Kids- cc TV will see my anus penus
Ojas- and chaddi
Tejas- I am not wearing chaddi

Me- Do you know when Mamu was small I pulled his pant down so he crawled towards me and tried pulling my skirt
Tejas- He should have just done this- made a lifting gesture
Simple Revenge Solutions

Tejas wrote a poem for my bday (2016)
A hen set out in a good mood to look for food. She got too angry and she ate her own brood.
Very Phoebe-isque poem

Why did you pull my hair Mamma
Tejas to Ojas- Mamma will say it is pyaar pull

Dialogue Check
Mummy help me
I am your mummy. Nobody will help you

In another news, both children wanted to vote for the guy who wanted to cut language classes and add more PT classes.

On a road trip Tejas was jealous of Ojas who was reading on my kindle. Since it was a pdf he couldn't access dictionary.
Tejas happy- little pleasures

Tejas when he saw cousin's Arabian dress picture
Who is this? Jesus Christ ? Why is he Arab?
Valid Religion questions

In a spree of environmental friendliness I asked Tejas to pee in the two compost pots.
Tejas- how will I pee in one, stop and pee in the other. I cant stop in the middle
Biologically sound question

During Doopaadoo Launch
Ojas- Mamma, Shruti Hasan asked my name when I was tying my shoelace.
Tejas- My friends will be J when I say I met ARR and Shruti Hasan
Ok. ARR I understand. But...
Isn't it too soon?

Ojas upon finding a chocolate in the fridge
Tejas- Which date did you get it in the birthday party? Cant you remember which friend gave you? Why didn't you eat.
He checked the date. Checked with me whether it was old. Finally couldn't control and ate it
Enlightened  Shoppers as usual

Tejas- I know about valentine's day. The day people make friends
Proud that he knows about it since 2013?
Wasn't that too early to know it?

Ojas- name one thing which is solid, liquid, gas
Me- Water etc?
Ojas- poop, pee, fart

The thing I hate is the plastic bat thrown on the dining table.
So I threw the bat outside.
He went promptly to my cupboard and threw my things on the floor.

One power-less night we played bull cow game. (number mental hangman)
We started with numbers
I asked Tejas to think of a four digit number.
My first elimination guess was - 1234
Tejas- surprised- correct
Ojas- ha ha Tejas Gandhi

Ojas- childish insult- eat cockroach saliva
Tejas - They don't have saliva

Me- Ojas- take this honey water and gargle
Ojas- Cover kar do. Flies aa jayega. Sweet hai na.

Me to Ojas- I have eyes at the back of my head
Ojas- Wait let me poke and check. No. No water in my eyes. Now let me poke your real eye and check.

When I had said the same to my brother when he was the same age he had asked a genuine -really?

Ojas- Mamma tell me honestly. Are you going to Delhi for office work or to meet all mamis?

Ojas when I didn't answer him- Mamma, kuch question poocha. And repeated the question
Beta bada ho gaya

Me- I am going to litfest for fun
Ojas- I know why you are going. Tumhara book dekhne

Tejas- why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7,8,9
Ojas- 7 doesn't have mouth. how will he eat?
#Kaise joke banaate ho

Ojas- If Hindu man marries Christian woman, will the children be Christian?
Tejas- I know an example- Murugan Mary

Ojas - a friend told me I kept lava in bottle. huh
Tejas- You cant even go near a lava.
Ojas- true

Not getting fooled!

One night I wore a sleeveless nighty
That day Ojas didn't want to sleep on my arm
Because- arm pit smell. Finally he put a pillow on it and slept

Ojas tells Mamu- Waiter, make juice for me (he was making drinks)
Mamu- get lost (in politer manner)
Ojas- I will complain to your manager. Goes and complains to Mami

Mamu- Cant find Barcelona T shirt
Ojas - What about Argentina, Germany
backup always ready
Ojas- look for Messi t shirt. Will be written at the back
Mamu- Doondhna padega
Ojas- Toh Dhoondho.
Never take no for an answer
No excuse shopping

Nani- Why didn't you write Hindi notes
Tejas- I was sent out of class so how would I write?
Casual Class

Ojas- did you sneeze on my French fries? Bacteria will come and infect it.
Tejas- So I can eat both French fries.
Ojas- Bacteria will come in your mouth
Tejas-- My bacteria only. Its coming out and the same is going in so no problem

In another news, I coughed on Ojas' head so that he shampoos.
He shampooed three rounds!
Fear of Bacteria works

Ojas- wake me but not in a terrible way
Me- what is terrible way
Ojas- switching off fan and mosquitoes bite

Me to Tejas- mera bachcha ko (Ojas) mara
Ojas- Main bhi tumhara bachcha hoon


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