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Tuesday, April 24, 2007

The Nappy Confusion

My take on cloth nappies vs disposable nappies

There is an endless debate between tree huggers and earth lovers and disposable nappy users and manufacturers on the benefits and otherwise of cloth nappies and disposables. Being a self proclaimed tree hugger I campaign for cloth nappies and shorts for kids any day. On a regular basis I use cloth, sometimes the nappy pad, but when I am going out, I swear by the disposables.
Since I use cotton shorts the entire day nowadays and used to use cloth nappies when they were younger, I had the practice of taking them to the washbasin or their potty chair and making them pee very often- as soon as they get up from sleep, before taking bath, before making them sleep, before putting a diaper, sometimes if they wake up in the middle of the night, every 45 minutes- 1 hour during the day, when they are playing. I feel it is comfortable for the baby also to pee comfortably rather than tied in a nappy. Also, after breakfast and after evening snacks I make them sit on the potty for the big job. According to me, when they pass it in their diaper/ nappy they do not do a thorough job.
At night I use the nappy pad so that the wetness does not spread to their clothes or the bed and they stay dry for some part of the night.

In this post, I offer my opinion on the good and the bad side of both kinds

Cloth Nappy

Comfort-Cool cottons / terry cloth used for cloth nappies is good for the skin as long as the baby is not left in the wet nappy for a long time. The frequent changing and may be washing/ wet wiping at every nappy change helps in airing the skin too. A wet nappy is extremely uncomfortable for the baby and the wetness/ poop tends to leak out creating a messy and embarrassing situation. So what if they are babies? They do have their self respect. Since it is changed more often it may be less responsible for rashes or skin infection. Cotton shorts or a cloth diaper is much more comfortable any day.

Convenience- Extremely inconvenient when outside. May need to carry the soiled ones back home in a separate bag or anyway you might throw it away and that adds to the garbage. Cleaning them is a lot of hard work and time taking. And then one has to dry them and fold them back and keep them within easy reach for the day’s use.

Cost- Low or no cost. Many people use old duppattas, saris for making cloth nappies. Best of waste. They are recyclable and can be used atleast for 6 – 8 months. Some people also invest in the washable foam & plastic nappy wraps that holds the cloth nappy and does not allow the wetness to leak out. Some people iron nappies and therefore there is electricity cost added.

Environment- In terms of not creating landfills, this is a good one. But one does waste a lot of water in washing soiled nappies and pumps in a lot of detergents into the earth. Better to invest in energy saving washing machines which uses far lesser water than the standard ones. Eco friendly detergents could be another answer. And offcourse club the washing. Important to train the maid/ child care person in this. And since cloth diaper tends to leak, the bed gets wet and adds to the wash load.


Aesthetics- Low on the aesthetics score. Especially while going out, the look of the dress is spoiled by the cloth diaper. Take a lot of space in the cupboard. Soiled nappies in the bathroom are not a grand sight and neither a good one for the senses.


Diapers

Comfort-The latest ones are getting baby skin friendly. There are diapers with wetness indicators to alert the parents too. The discomfort factor with the wetness in a diaper is less. But the problem comes when the diaper is left overnight or beyond 4-5 hours and one tends to become lax and does not frequently check the diaper for soiling. The baby may be left in the soiled / wet diaper for a long time causing rashes/ skin infection/ fungal infection. And my famous thought- may feel like wearing a sanitary napkin all while.

Convenience- Scores highest on convenience. Use and throw, no need to worry about washing, drying, ironing. Space saving. Tightly packed in the pack it comes in. Does not spoil the chair, does not wet/ spoil the bed. A blessing when you are outside. Easy to carry spares.

Cost- Expensive especially in India. Atleast Rs 10 per piece. Minimum 5 diapers daily if there is no poop done in a newly changed diaper is Rs 50 per day and therefore Rs 1500 per month. One needs to be prepared for the expense. Not affordable to someone below the consuming class/ middle class. The nappy pad costs Rs 5 per piece and tends to be more economical but cannot be conveniently used inside shorts. If one can get the diapers from abroad during their trips, it may cost as less as Rs 8/ I believe Naidu Hall has their own brand of diapers which is Rs 8-9 per piece and available in the T Nagar Branch. Some statistics-

  • A baby will use around 5,000 nappies over their nappy-wearing life. That produces a mountain of waste equivalent to 130 black bin-bags full.
  • Nearly 8 million nappies are thrown away every day in the UK; that's 3 billion a year.
  • More disposable nappies are found in UK household waste than anything else. It is thought the plastics in disposable nappies could take hundreds of years to decompose.

    Environment- Bad for the earth. The 8 million nappies that are thrown away each day, contribute to about 4% if the UK's total waste. We are running out of room in landfill sites and as the plastic used in disposable nappies may take up to 500 years to degrade, the impact this 'convenience' product has on the environment is questionable.
    The long term impact of chemicals used in nappy production has not been studied.
    But,
    - Disposable nappies contribute an average 2.4% of household waste which equates to around 0.1% of total landfilled waste. Paper and card contribute 17% to household waste and garden waste contributes a further 15%. Household waste is a fraction of all waste which is landfilled in the UK.
    - Manufacturers have decreased the overall weight of disposable nappies by around 40%. Technology ensures the continued improvement of the overall environmental profile of disposable nappies.
    -Disposable nappies are compatible with all prevalent forms of waste management.\
    Biodegradable diapers may be the answer. And may make the tree huggers happy.

    Aesthetics- High on aesthetics score. Does not spoil the look of a good attire.

    Training- A baby may get used to passing urine only in the safety and comfort of a diaper. A friend mentioned that a child she knew used to poop only in his diaper and he refused to use the potty for a very long time. Trainer pants are extremely convenient for potty training and for older children when traveling and one does not have access to a clean bathroom- especially for girls.

As parents it is left to us to decide what we wish to use without feeling guilty either way as the impact of both on environment, wallet, convenience, comfort in total is more or less the same. Depends on what is the key to one as parents, is it comfort, convenience, cost, water or landfill.

To me the prime deciding factor is comfort for the baby. I rather leave them in shorts and let them run around comfortably than tie them in either diaper or cloth nappy which they try to remove nowadays. But at night, they may wet themselves or the bed and that is very annoying for them. Therefore I use a nappy pad on the cloth diaper or sometimes the diaper.

Friday, April 20, 2007

My Take on being a Feminist

Apu started the tag and here it is.

I have never really fathomed why this big deal about feminism and being a feminist.
I do not think we need a separate movement or a war or a symbol or an act like burning a piece of clothing to depict feminism.
To me, feminism is a woman being herself. A woman taking pride in the fact that she is a woman who has been created because God could not be present everywhere.
And as the joke goes- God made man and he was pleased. He then stood back and said, I can do better. And then he made woman.

All of us will have incidents of feminist glory to our name. And in the face of the heavily protest led feminist movement, we do not even realize that we are all feminists in our own way.

Foremost, it is important to be comfortable with oneself- a woman is a feminist when she says that she is happy that she is born as a woman, and she accepts herself, warts, facial hair, labour pains and all.

A girl who insists that she will be the bats(wo)man in the boys team because she is bored of standing in the corner and fielding, is a feminist. The act of defying the norm is not feminism but doing it because she wants to do it despite the norms, is feminism.

A girl who can walk across a group of boys without checking 100 times whether her strap is showing or wondering whether her skirt is too short, or the blouse too transparent, is a feminist not because she is being shameless but because she is comfortable with her body. I have seen girls who refused to drink water in school if there were boys gathered at the water taps. And I have seen girls who say, Come off it, have it? flaunt it!

When a woman’s self confidence is very high she never gets affected with what others are saying or whether some men are sharing jokes at her expense. After all, don’t we as woman take digs at men and bitch about them among ourselves? Then why are we so conscious if men are doing it?

Theoretically, a man can never be sure whether the child is his, but a woman is 100% sure that the child is hers. That, to me, is the ultimate power of being a woman.

A feminist is not ashamed that she loves the stereotypical girlie things like shopping, shoes, clothes, jewelry, gossiping, cosmetics, mahila mandli etc. Albeit she loves being labeled as the typical woman. I would not like to be called a typical man; you know what that would make me.

Being a feminist is realizing that being a woman gave me the power of choice in situations mundane to critical –
choose what to wear from various shades of colours and various types of outfit, unparalleled by the stereotypical palette which a man can choose from
choose how to run my household
choose whether I want to have a career or stay at home
choose partly how I want my child to come to this world and who can witness it (it is largely decided by the baby)
choose how my child will be brought up
well, the list has just begun…

It is a feminist who can choose to put double digit weight in 9 months, carry it all along, get marred by stretch marks on her otherwise flawless skin and turn the washboard stomach to a sagging belly and love doing all of it.

It is feminist to revel in the glory of being the only one who can nurture- she is the one who experiences the joys of being a mother, she is the one who can feed her child and bond in those exclusive moments and she is the one who after all this can wake up and say, yes I want to do it again.

Feminism is to be bold and bashfully add splashes of colour to the dull blues and grays in corporate world.

The attitude of a feminist towards a particular chore is different. When she does a chore, it is because she knows she is good rather better at it not because she is supposed to do it. And when she does not have the ability to do something, she doesn’t mind it being delegated without getting her ego hurt.

Being a feminist is not turning a hair when the husband brings in unannounced guests for dinner. Rather, confidently assuring that the job will be done. It is not un-feminist to be responsible for the kitchen. Rather I find the attitude of being perfect and confident extremely feminist. Well someone has to do the cooking, and since I can do a better job, why not me?

As far as I am concerned, if my car needs to be serviced, my hubby will get it done for me not because I am uncomfortable going to the workshop and not because I find it unladylike but because I know my hubby will do a better job.

A feminist knows that she is not the weaker sex but the better half.

It is not about- “Woman without her man is incomplete” but, “Woman! Without her, man is incomplete. ”

Friday, April 13, 2007

Oops!!

Oops of the month…

· Instead of writing “look at the concepts in the other categories and adapt them for another category”, I wrote “loot at the concepts…. “ and mailed it to the entire team in office.
· In the store I told my sons ‘say hi to didi (meaning older girl)’ and the mother said ‘no he is bhayia (meaning older boy)’ . (his hair was tied up either because he was a sardarji or he had not got the 1st tonsure done)
· While rehearsing a customer presentation, instead of Lebanese I said Lesb1an
· I was coming in the right lane. The cop stopped the cars to allow pedestrians standing at the median to cross. The cop actually escorted the pedestrians, and smartly I crossed the zebra line and the cop who started coming back towards the median got hit
· I almost missed a wedding that was happening in the morning, thinking that the invitation was for the evening. Bless AD who called me to check whether I was coming
· I called up my cousin’s wife and spoke to her for 20 minutes and again sms ed her for something and forgot to wish her for her son’s 3rd birthday (happened in February)
· I closed my eyes just for a moment to rest my tired eyes and a senior colleague had a great laugh thinking I was fast asleep. (I had a hard time convincing him that I was not)
· I went to the airport via a short cut, missed the important turn and finally saw myself arrive at kattipara junction that I wanted to avoid and facing the opposite direction
· I was trying to show my mom a short cut from my sister’s house to mine and found myself in another street all together
· The odd-job boy of in the complex went on leave without permission and was missing for a week. I built up a lot of anger and scolding lines and when I saw him today, I was about to scold him and I burst out laughing instead– I think because of the relief to see him back so that things can come back to normal. Then sarcastically I asked him “why didn’t you stay back home for tamil new year also”. The sarcasm fell flat as he never understood what I was trying to tell in my wonderful tamil and he replies- “ok madam I will come and collect the circular for the monthly meeting’

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

A Bloggers Motives

Why do I take the trouble to blog?
It is a cool (kewl?) thing to do
I am too lazy to maintain a baby book and I wish to record my kid’s activities and let them read it when they grow up
I am too lazy to write my diary
I am too lazy to write
Cathartic
Express myself to a wider audience of similar taste
Possibly network if opportunity presents
Can proclaim this as my hobby to the rest of the world- though I write under a nick name, all my relatives and associates know about my blog. In fact I urge them to visit and comment
A nice way to take a breather break.
Something to look forward to in an internet session
I always dreamt to publish a book and this is the closest I can do to it
To elicit other’s opinion
To have a voice in the web world

Why do I take the trouble to blog hop?
Forms good reading matter
I always love a good story
To expand my thinking space
To trigger ideas for my other posts
To get ammunition for my gossip sessions
For a good laugh – we bloggers do spike up the posts with humour
To take a break
Mom blogs- To see if others have similar experiences with their kids

Why do I take the trouble to comment?
To express my views/ substantiate/ give another perspective for the post
To contribute information if sought
A way of saying “hi” and marking my attendance to jack up the number of comments for the blogger – I know all of us love comments
So that the blogger comes to my blog, reads & comments- I love comments too
So that the bloggers on my blog roll/ my regular visitors are not offended that I do not visit them and take the trouble to comment


Why do I love comments?
Makes me feel good about myself
I feel good that the post has helped someone in some way
Lets me know approx how many people has seen my post - the stat counter vanished when I changed to new blogger
To get a different perspective to my post
Subliminal message- lurkers please de-lurk

Monday, April 09, 2007

300 Movie- Review

Statutory Warning- “Spoiler Ahead”. Read on if you don’t mind a few details being let out from the movie
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"Because only Spartan Woman give Birth to Real Men", said Queen Gorgo.

As a Mommy Blogger, this line touches me the most. As a Woman, this line touches me again. The order is intended. Before I became a mother, I never realised the intensity of feeling that a woman or a man experiences for one that has emerged from self. And therefore the phrase "it's my baby" is used for any project or creation that one does and one needs to emphasise the feeling of ownership that one experiences for that particular project. “The sight of the headless body of the Captain's son filled his heart with hatred (towards the Persians)”, made me realise how powerful the love towards an offspring is.

Before I started, this post was intended to be a cursory review of the movie and thereafter an analysis of the strategy and when I began, the course somehow changed to the above track. And I am glad that I watched this movie in a theatre else I would have never been able to concentrate on the nuances and links.

I did a little googling on the ancient Sparta war and their tribe and I am yet to understand the full import of the movie and their story with respect to ancient history. Also, while there are shades of dramatization, and the author has taken liberties with the plot, attire and rendering of the characters to lend emphasis or otherwise to the storyline, bearing the fact that it is a story from the point of view of a Spartan, I give credit to Frank Miller and Zack Snyder. It makes the viewer empathise with Spartans and even admire their militancy. As Frank Miller himself says, that in truth the Spartans was much crueler than depicted. The policy of 'you don't shoot the messenger' is not at all followed here, yet one tends to applaud when King Leonidas throws the Persian messengers into the pit for the slight to his queen when she joined the political discussion. Was it the woman in me applauding or the viewer in me, I do not know.

Spartan culture to me seemed like a blend of (modern) society with animal like touches. The reference to the customary infanticide to maintain healthy stock and the women & men seen as a means to creating a superior gene pool is almost animal like whereas women empowerment, shades of political grays, reference to democracy reflects our society.

If I were to equate the movie to modern corporate world, it could be explained in the following manner from the Spartan point of view-
Strategy- The Military strategy of the Spartans (& Persians)
Core Competence- the main profession of all Spartans were warriors not a potter/ craftsman engaged to do military duty like the Greek ally soldiers
Merger- Greek forces rallying up with Spartans
Back-end Support- Women back home, male progeny, reinforcements
Insider- Ephialtes
Competition – Persians

From strategy point of view bearing in mind the period we are talking about, the phalanx formation employed by the Spartan troop was nearly impenetrable. The Spartan army played by logic and physical strength whereas the Persian army fought with sheer numbers.
With my limited understanding of military strategies I cannot give much input on it but from what I could observe,
The formation emphasized on unified, almost programmed, nearly orchestrated, coordinated movement, speed and action.
The emphasis was on not creating any weak link in the formation.
The shield was the key for self defense and self-preservation. The importance of the shield is highlighted when King Leonidas rejects the application of the hunchback Ephialtes into the military after his failure to use the shield correctly. The dramaticised depiction of the entire army escaping unscathed when the Persian army rained poisoned arrows on them, further reinforces the importance

The drama involving Queen Gorgo that happens back home helps one relax a little in the midst of the war and also delivers the following messages-
a reflection on the society- the active role of women in politics and their empowerment
the moral (and otherwise?) support given by women to their men in their “career”. As King Leonidas rightly put it, in not so many words that a Spartan woman is as capable as a Spartan man to fight the war.
On a baser level, men across ages will be men- they will definitely attempt to eve tease!!

The Spartan warriors and the king slighting the “stupidity” of Persian strategy and throwing various one-liners from the pages of history gave a breather break to the serious war situation.

A few one-liners forced claps and laughs in the otherwise dead theatre including- “we shall fight in the shade” the answer given by the Spartan soldier in response to the Persian who says that the Persian army's arrows will blot out the sun. Infact there was one enthusiastic young guy repeatedly clapping for every good scene and one-liner and if my husband had been encouraging or supportive or if I had gone with a large group of friends, I would have joined him in his enthusiasm.

The blogger in me tried hard to look for anomalies which are spotted in period films quite often, like a watch or a (Reebok) shoe, but gave up after some time for the sake of enjoying the movie.

The makeup artists have evidently worked very hard to make some of the characters look despicable. The sages of the Oracle, the hunchback Ephialtes, the immortals when shown prompted me to shut my eyes lest I get dreadful dreams. Especially watching from the 1st row in Mayajaal, multiplied the eek value of the characters by several times. If the movie had been released when I was carrying, I would not have watched it. It’s truly “Prepare for G(l)ory”

In fact the androgynous (or metro sexual?) depiction of King Xerex has been criticized by some groups. I found him interesting but not repelling.

The narrative by Spartan soldier Dilios made it easier for me to follow, especially with my long-forgotten knowledge of history which is limited to chapters and classes and I do not have a bigger picture understanding to it. With the hazy memory of the dates I really fail to appreciate which kings or warriors were contemporaries and which ones were far removed by centuries -BC/ AD or otherwise.

Therefore, I request fellow bloggers to recommend one complete history book which renders the world history in an easily appreciated story form.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Double Trouble or Double the Fun- Part III- The Early Days

Read Part I & Part II
As far as I remember, and as soon as I was old enough to start thinking about it, I have always wanted to have 2 kids, preferably twins so that I would do the hard work only once. I also allowed myself to imagine it would be 1 boy and 1 girl so that I could experience the best of both worlds. (I keep harping on that that don’t I?)

Well, that’s besides the point. What I want to document here is the dilemmas and tough decisions you take when you are brining up twins. A mom of more than 1 kid also goes through similar dilemmas but when the kids are twins (or more??) things are different in many respects. (Before the Moms of more than ones begin to protest- ladies, I just said different, I did not say more difficult or less difficult!!! And that goes for the Dads too, I hate to leave them out of this)

So here goes.

At the most basic level, it is ok to have different levels of feelings/ love/ affection for either of them. There I have brought it out in the open. You may like one's smile better or the other’s looks better or likewise. It is ok to instinctively pick one child up close and let the other be comforted by another care giver. You can’t be doing both at the same time. As both the babies would crave for the Mom’s individual attention, that needs to be given. As far as they are concerned, they are the only baby for their mom & dad and they do demand their space, attention and time. It is best if it is given on a rotation basis. Even in animals you would observe that the mother takes care of the weakest the most. An animal follows its instincts as it has no social self to display. Nobody will censor the animal mom for not taking care of each baby impartially but the ani-mom instinctively supports the ani-babe that is weakest and needs her most at that time. But we human moms tend to worry about what others will comment if she pays more attention to either of her kid. This gets more obvious if the two children are of the same age and their needs are exactly the same at the same time. I was often asked which baby I love more, or I know moms love their older/ oldest kid the most or the youngest is the dearest. I still refuse to answer clearly and yes if I have to analyze in detail, there are reasons why I like Ojas better and there are other set of reasons why I like Tejas better. But nothing will make me share that, as I don’t want them to grow older, read this and mould themselves according to my blog sentiments or otherwise. I want them to be as they are and I will like them for what they are. But yes, it is difficult to choose between the two and decide whom I like better. Maybe equality does exist at a higher level.

Human beings are not designed to feed a litter. Day 1 my Gynaec recommended that I feed one and at the same time give the other the bottle else, in her own words I could never manage it. Especially when they both are hungry at the same time. The pediatrician said strictly no top feed and encouraged me saying you are doing a great job. The ped’s focus was the kids and the gyn’s was me!!
Is there a middle path?
To tell you the truth, with all due respect to my gyn ( as obvious in most of my posts related to my pregnancy and later), I did not want to give them top feed. In the backdrop of all recommendations that Mom’s milk is the best, for the 1st 6 months keep on exclusive b- feed, together with my Leo ego that refused to believe that I could not manage the two, I went by the ped’s instructions.
And it hurt. It hurt me physically when every 45 minutes or less I had one baby hanging on to me for 8-10 minutes or so. I used to sit with a time piece and stop at exact 8 or 10 minutes because of the pain. The duration of each feed increased gradually and a time came when even after 40 minutes the boys refused to relieve me. And the nights were terrible. I never slept for more than 1 hour at a stretch. Even during the day, when the boys deigned to sleep I had other activities like taking bath, kitchen, maid, cleaning etc to take care of. (I had a lousy, lazy, messy maid during that time; even I with my limited jhaadoo pochcha skills could do a better job).
It hurt me emotionally when the other baby was screaming his lungs off and I was in the midst of feeding one baby. And i could not make him release me so that the other could take over. i could feel one being frantically on the job if the other was screaming on his head and waiting in line to be next. Even they could feel the stress.
After 1 week I asked the doc whether I could express milk and give. Another no. But I did that anyway to make things easier for me. The only issue was that the boys did not give sufficient time gap for the expressing to be easy.
There were desperate situations when I used to hold one baby and feed him and prop the other one on a pillow or even better ask my mom to hold the other one and let him feed on the other side.
Everyone said that they cry as they remain hungry inspite of the frequent feeds. They cry as the milk quantity is not enough. They cry as they digest the milk fast and therefore they are hungry quickly. They cry as they are not getting my exclusive attention.
Excuse me! I disagree; the quantity was never a problem. The 60 lactation tablets I took ensured that. It was the ability to feed for enough time that was the problem. it is humanly impossible to do that every 45 minutes for a duration of anything from 10 min to 40 min.

15-20 days into this and I decided to leave egos aside and follow the gyn’s advice. I gave them cow’s milk and that day I cried for being a bad mom. For letting them assimilate germs and diseases from the outside and facing a lifetime of low resistance.

However, I agree, that life became a lot easier. (When I say ‘a lot’ it is still a lot less easier than a normal life.) I switched them to cow’s milk every morning post bath and before bed to ensure a rested sleep post both occasions. Infact they used to sleep easily and cried lesser as their stomach was fuller perhaps. I used the bottle despite advices against it. Practical Problem. I did not have the stamina and patience (yes I am really using that word!), to sit and spoon-feed milk to both of them at that stage.

There were days when both decided to take turns in their sleeping time. When one sleeps the other does not and vice versa. In effect, the entire day I was battling with their needs- feed, clean, sleep, nappy changes. I did not believe in diapering them so I had to always have the paraphernalia, of cloth nappy, rubber cloth, washable diapers whenever needed or simply unlimited number of chaddis/ shorts. Believe me it is annoying. Diapering is much easier. But the tree hugger in me did not allow me to burden the environment. Also, my pet question- what if I had to wear a sanitary napkin all day all month all year? How would I feel then?

For a mom, the easiest way to calm the baby is feeding him/her. And even the baby expects it when he comes to the mom’s lap. So when both are crying for comfort feed, it really becomes difficult to choose. At that time it is very important to have help on hand whether it is maid, relative, mom or MIL. And it always helps to keep the milk bottle ready. The other baby who is left out gets really impatient.

When one is getting a wash and the other is left in the room alone (s)he can bring the roof down with screams. So help is handy in preventing the crying scene! Especially in the stage of- if-I-am-left-alone-I-should-cry.
Infact, I used to squirm at the idea of a maid touching my kid, forget giving them their food/ handling the bottle. But today I am depending on my 2 maids to help me maintain my sanity.

I was keen to sun them everyday for their Vitamin D. My flat does not get direct sunlight all the time which is a blessing, being in Chennai. But I wanted my babies to soak up strong, direct sunlight for atlast 20 minutes straight. So i used to take them for a walk everyday in their double pram. Rather I wanted to take them out in their new double pram instead of my old single pram. But just my luck. I will notice that both are in a good mood and not doing anything in particular (for that age!!) and will plan to take them out. Promptly one will fall asleep and I will have to take the other guy out in the old, single pram. Later on I made it a point to take them out / send them out at the same time every day to make them used to it. Also, the walk gave me the much needed exercise.

While shopping or going for parties, we do not have the luxury of Mom eating while Dad holds the baby or Dad pushes the shopping cart and Mom holds the baby. Both hold their respective charges and also the dinner plate or shopping cart. we do not know the concept of relief. Or we must always request someone to accompany us or look after the babies while we do a quick-but-always-looking-at-the-watch-and-calling-up-home-to-check shopping.

But things get better after the 3rd month and around 6 months even better. Infact progressively the situation gets better. They begin to play with each other, follow you around and have other activities to occupy them. Also we get sensitized and used to handling them better than what we were earlier.

This is as far as the early days- the first 6-8 months go. I will continue with more insights in the post- As they Grow Older which will follow.

I want to tag specifically apu for telling the other side of the story. also any other twin who would like to take it up.
The topic is- A twin's perspective towards others - how they ask you about being psychic with your twin or how similar or different you are or how they compare you both or how your parents bring you up similarly or differently, make you dress alike, you know the works. This will be a great help to me in becoming a better parent.