Height of Thetharpan (Shamelessness)

Email 1- from Safety Officer to Me

[As you are aware that the Driving safety Policy ISH 043 is in effect since 12/06 , which requires mandatory anchoring of Seatbelts while driving/ travelling in 4 Wheelers.
At few occasions during the last fortnight, it was observed that you were not complying to this requirement while at office premises.]

Email 2- from me to Safety Officer answering the quiz

And Now Maternity becomes a Career Hazard

CV's of women at childbearing age get binned...
Pregnant women lose promotion chances...
Employers wary of employing women who may marry & leave or get pregnant and take a long break...
And now this blatant statement that it is a career hazard.
It screams discrimination to say the least.
I think it's time we women stop being apologetic about being pregnant.
Instead, we should be worshipped for bing nice enough to bring into this world and take the pains of rearing the future workforce of the world.

Fine discriminate at your risk-
- Studies say a diverse workforce including women bring in more diverse thinking or approach to the problem. Also lends a competitive edge calling for more participation from either gender in a diversified situation.
-Studies also hint at women being more stable employees and men top job ditchers, also women negotiate less and thereby companies face less loss of time & resources for replacement search, training and settling down before they actively contribute to the new job.
- Are corporates willing to give up 50% of their workforce contributing to the GDP? Considering the overall office/ house/ child rearing work women do, they are mor
-Some industries like mine actually regard women as better suited to the job than men - especially the roles that require creative thinking and ideation for FMCG products as they have more women focused approach to brand building.
- On a tangent, Imagine the film/ Television industry without women in the workforce?- What would we do without our dose of saas- bahu drama- Watch Sasur-Damaad drama or what? No way!
-On a lighter note,
-the ad/ modelling industry would suffer greatly if there were no women advertising their cars/ cigarettes/ male grooming products etc.
-we would have only male gyneacs! when the preference is largely for female
Heartening to note that someone in Corporate India is luring more women in the workforce

Kiss of a Perfume

A woman should wear fragrance wherever she expects to be kissed
said Coco Chanel
A perfume ought to enter the room with you and leave a mild lingering trail when you leave the room- not like people smell you before they see you and feel your heavy cloying presence long after you have left the room!
My first memories of perfume dates back to the time I must have been about 8-10.
- My grandma's complaint that Grandpa always picks up a Charlie! To date I do not know why because I do not really like that fragrance.
- the crisp and warm smell of Old Spice that Dad used in his younger days
- Mom's Opium by YSL- I still love that perfume sweet, spicy, powdery.
It must be the past link that made me love heavy, oriental, warm, woody and spicy fragrances like- Poem, Obsession, Organza, Ysatis along with florals like in the initial years of my career in the "scent company". I would swear by these styles and my liking reflected in my choice for most fragrance projects.
I was told that once you start really appreciating the structure of a chypre fragrance you have arrived. It is a structure that really grows on you- you need to learn to appreciate it rather than naturally like it I suppose. I took nearly 3 plus years to appreciate and like sophisticated chypres and the more modern transparent/ fresh/ watery fragrances.
I fell in love with
-Knowing, Gucci Rush, Miss Dior and Arden Beauty & Pleasures.
-Flower by Kenzo, Miracle & Sensi for their feminine floral accords.
I inducted hubby into the chypre family with Kouros and Paco Rabane so that I get to smell them everyday as he is a liberal user of "scent"
My legacy of love for perfumes and the way my nose flares up as any wanted or unwanted odour drifts past me is passed on genetically to Ojas & Tejas-
- They raise their arms to be liberally sprayed with deo everytime hubby uses it
-they mention- smell -whenever they suddenly get a bad/ good smell

Working Life Status Quo or Change? Questioning Self

Yesterday I entered into the 10th year of my working life.
Life in the city began 9 years ago when I walked into my ex-office, all apprehensive, eager and raring to go.
I was a mere trainee but none the less in terms of attitude, expectations and opinion.
I wanted to learn as much as possible, spent hours dogging the experienced ones, learning, soaking, absorbing every new thing that came my way. For in the business of fragrances, no great MBA degree would help. It all depended ultimately on your smelling, relating and recalling skills. It was all a game of aptitude, attitude and creativity rather than plain degrees.
It meant you have to remember details, correlate experiences and above all be extremely curious. It meant smelling a new perfume or a chemical and searching the depths of your memory and extracting the most relevant one so that you could learn, commit to memory and classify this new perfume that you have experienced. It meant picking up this new perfume out of your memory or physical records and submitting at the time of a new project. It required constant oiling of wheels and practice unfolding each dimension of the fragrance in our mind's eyes.
I am a kind of person who gets comfortable with status quo and thrfore I thought fragrances will remain my first & last love and I would end up staying in the fragrance industry if not the same company. But after 7 plus years, I changed. Not just the company but also the category- I moved from fragrance to flavour and it has taken more than a year for me to realize that I am enjoying working in flavours as much if not more than fragrances in terms of the creative width it gives me. There is always a new project to work on and new concept to generate or new ideas to think of.
And here comes the conflict-I am enjoying it here & am comfortable but do I want to spend a lifetime doing just this? Nothing new to do/ explore/ try out? Do I want to spend my entire life working for someone else and dreaming of flexi time and other convenient arrangements? After all we work to get easy access to pleasure and then we cannot take time off from work to splurge the money on a holiday or pleasure. We look to work hard now and enjoy later. But how soon is later? Is it anytime now or when we get old and tired and are nearing retirement.

In the last 9 years, I have hated, loved and become comfortable in Chennai city. I have reached a plateaue in terms of expectations and amazement for the city that has modernised right before my eyes. The IT parks never fail to fascinate me and those are the times when I wish that I should have taken IT as a career or atleast have an office in such a location. There was a time when Spencer mall was the hangout in Chennai and today we are lagging behind malls of Gurgaon / Bangalore etc.
At this juncture, I am facing a conflict of sorts- do I want to end up living my entire working life in this one city itself? When I retire from working life, will I regret not taking a chance? Will hubby agree? He seems to be pretty much wedded to Chennai.

I got married, bought an apartment (on EMI) in a prime location, got pregnant, had 2 lovely kids to show off, and now they are going to start school next month. On the face of it, what more could one want? A bigger house (with EMI paid up), better location, more facilities...it doesn't end anytime.
I managed to hold on to my job through this despite conflicting emotions of not giving enough time and attention to the kids.
Now what? Is in't it a little late in the day for hoping to explore more cities for living? After so much of time and investment in identifying the correct school here? After Hubby started his business here?
What is my net worth today- few close friends, family, rare personal phone calls, hardly a place where I could land unanounced and still get invited to stay for dinner, a handful of people who would care enough to take my child to the toilet if needed or pay for my food without making me feel obliged to pay back or return the favour. Can my children call any house here as the one where they almost lived in their childhood apart from their own home? The sort of homes where you are always in & out of, you can do a pajama party & sleepovers- a little too soon for me to think about as they have not yet reached the age when they pick & choose their buddy?
Am I going to end up feeling sorry that I did nothing different from status quo all this while? Thinking I did not enjoy life at all? As I take each day as it comes, I am happy. But from a wholistic point of view, I am not sure the resume of my life will be full of variety.

Eventful 2 days

Lost-
The Solitaire Diamond on my engagement ring dropped off...the 2nd thing that hubby presented that I have managed to lose- the first being the gold+ platinum bracelet that he so thoughtfully bought for me- I had been yearning to buy one for a few years. I don't think I will ever buy another bracelet for sometime- I feel so bad just thinking of it.

Overheard-
Ojas pointing at the picture of the sun- Chunn
Tejas correcting him- Na na Sunn

Won-
The first project that I had been briefed on exactly a year ago has materialized. This is a new guy entering confectionery. Though we did get random wins over the year, this was a must win and was giving me jitters all year with hopes raised high on it. This was my first presentation that I had created for this company and was very appreciated both on home ground and customer site.

Hi Bye
Ojas & Tejas were playing. Suddenly they come to me. Ojas clasps my hand and says- "How do do."
Tejas quickly tells - "Bye" and runs off.

Discovered
Dreamworld board books in Tamil at Words&Worth, Besant Nagar. Those interested can pop in. I need some in Hindi now! Maybe the Bihar trip will help.
Also they are offering 15% discount on selected copies of Tintin & Asterix.

A new, lovely looking boutique near Kalachetra Foundation- ned to explore them and blog about them.

Controlled
Duggi chased Ojas when he was trying to poop. Ojas wriggled his index finger at him and said- Duggi, no, sit. Duggi obediently sat down at a respectful distance.

Revised
Re-read "not a penny more, not a penny less" by Jeffery Archer. The magic is still there. He should do a sequel to give back all the money.

Purchased
Dilbert Future, Coma- Robin Cook, John Grisham- Skipping Christmas. I am one of those few who have never read Robin Cook. I intend to start with one as it seems less daunting now rather than during my school days.

Hurt
Tejas dashed against the sofa and bled on the lips. His teeth hurt his lips and the upper lip got mildly swollen. Kind of scary- his lips full of blood and as usual my nose picked up the smell of blood before actually seeing it when he came crying into the kitchen.

Notes from Calcutta

Landed yesterday morning and the incorrigible shopper in me is itching to visit the shops. Oh I could do anything to swipe my credit card, hear the grating of the machine and sign the smooth slip with a flourish. The shops in this city of joy have been eluding me from yesterday morning by opening much after 10.00 am and closing much before 8.00 pm. And the rains today have been a mega spoiler. The roads are flooded and the shops remain stubbornly closed at half past eleven too. As I wait for my afternoon meeting, I am stuck in the office. So time to engage in my favourite activity- blogging.

I just hear and fret about the wonderful sari shops around Shakespeare Sarani, cursing the rains and the business sense of the shop owners.

Visited the impeccably neat and organized biscuit manufacturing plant. This local player in Calcutta market seems to have done extremely well for himself in just 5 years and his fully automated plant and machinery is one of the most expensive varieties. Saw the Marie biscuits being made and collected souvenirs of the same. But sad to see that the workers do not use gloves or head gear while handling the food ingredients and finished products. And none of the national players do the same, I am told. At the same time I am proud that both my current and ex-company adhere strictly to the gloves & head gear part since our ingredients (flavour) gets into food products.

Making a presentation on the biscuit market to the clients was a novelty. Firstly they are a family concern and every chacha and mama will be a Director. Secondly they dislike national players and no word of praise should be said about them. So a category presentation becomes difficult as the category is governed by the national players. Thirdly they are not too comfortable with English so my entire presentation was done in flawless Hindi, and I surprised myself at that. I was unsure about my capabilities to translate the English presentation smoothly into English, though Hindi is my mother tongue but I managed extremely well. The client also appreciated my comfort level with presenting in Hindi.

Today I hear that the guy who matters in the company has highly appreciated the efforts and is looking forward to doing business with us.

Hand pulled rickshaws are still seen inspite of the recent ban.

Things to do in Calcutta is Eat the road side gol guppa and kaati roll but will not for lack of guts! The huge Haldiram outlet en route to airport may be will be visited but the weight watcher section is holding me back by the scruff of the neck.

Looks like the kids have not given much trouble on account of my overnight absence- first one after last November. But I was bored without them and missed them a lot. Even woke up several times during the night and missed their presence next to me. Spent some time looking at their pictures on my laptop and listening to their voice recorded on my mobile.

12.00 pm and I am going to rush off to the closest market to do a quick dekho…

Edited to add-Lighter by Rs 11000- 6 saris, 2 salwar suit material bought at Ratiram Ramvinod in Shakespear Sarani and 6 t shirts for the kids....Now I feel contented.

A Working Mom Places Her Case

My two bit on the debate between working moms and stay at home moms

First things first- ever since I remember, I have always wanted to work. Work either on my own or get a job. The prime motivation was that I would be independent and have money of my own. The rest of the frills of working were not given much thought to at that stage. To me, it meant an uninhibited license to shop as and when I wished, buy all the books I wanted to read, fly off to any place I wished, and have a nice, big house of my own.

Well, I leave it at that. Today I realize that working life is not one big celebration or shopping festival. It is one big responsibility to be sitting in that position and playing the role one is hired for. Working would mean jubilation at times and disappointment at others. It could mean getting accolades on one occasion and being brought down ruthlessly from cloud nine at another. And the money does not flow in and out as freely as I thought. The increment may not be always a wow. And one may not spend at the blink of an eye.

Working is not about going to office as you please and coming back long before the cows come home. It is not just jet-setting at company’s cost – the fringe benefits could be as basic as missing a meal when you are in transit or as bad as not being able to adapt to the food that is aplenty all chargeable to expense account. It means getting up at unearthly hours according to your bio clock, in a different country when your home town is still fast asleep. It could mean long hours of sitting in a cramped seat when the rest of the world is stretched out comfortably on the big, fluffy bed. It could be as disappointing as not being able to attend that function where all the relatives had great fun or as heart wrenching as not being with your child when he wants to cuddle up to you and sleep.

There, you know what I am driving at. It is not easy to be a Working Mom. While the benefits are many, the sacrifices are equally so. But do not for a moment think that I am trying to martyr-ify (help me with the apt word) myself- no there is no halo behind my head, period. And neither am I the power hungry, mean money making machine. I am a flesh & blood person who has a right to make a choice.

The desire to work had been ingrained into my system and there was no way that I could change my DNA. And once I was truly into it, it felt like tasting blood. Getting to grassroots level I love the set routine of getting ready to go to work everyday, experimenting with my attire and get-up and running the show at work. At a materialistic level, I am in love with my pay cheque, I love seeing the account summary getting heavier in my favour towards the end of the month and love the extra width it gives us as a family. At an intellectual level, I enjoy the stimulation, the chance to network, and move beyond the domain of self and family. I would have never sailed through my pregnancy without quarreling every minute with my hubby if I didn’t have the distraction of my workplace. Imagine a pregnancy without the laughs at the lunch table with the girls, or without sharing the graphic pregnancy notes with the woman colleagues, or without the royal treatment by all the colleagues and their genuine concern and support. It really made the discomforts worthwhile. What is life without gossip and bitching about boss(es) and others in office or discussing the latest TV programs and borrowing and lending books/ food. Love them, like them, hate them but you can’t do without your colleagues.
I believe that colleagues are equal to your best friend minus that necessity of being nice and friendly always. You can get away with not chatting with them for a few days and then taking off from the next day without the hassle of justifying why you did not bother to even spend 5 minutes with them over coffee. Convenient!

Frankly, I did not give serious thought to whether I will work after kids or not. It was always a given that I will continue after a mandatory 6-month break to coach them into getting used to the world.

While I am committed to my job, yet there are days when I do not want to let go of my kids who are blissfully playing with me. I wish that I did not have to go to office and I wish that I could spend the entire day playing with them and taking them thorough the animal books and getting dazzling smiles in return. Truly, I feel sorry to go to office those days. But one can always play truant and take leave.

After the kids, I have rearranged my priorities and I am not ashamed to do so. I do not doubt that it will impact my marketability in the corporate world. No matter what, I take the responsibility to give my kids the total attention they deserve. A couple of years ago, I would have jumped at a chance to make a tour to Delhi/ Mumbai, combine the weekend and shop/ visit relatives. But today, I come back the same day and take the earliest available flight so that I can come back home to my kids.

I love to soak up in the admiration and awe of other moms/ non-moms who try to fathom how I manage work, home, kids at one go. I love it and I take pride in it. Unabashed, immodest, unladylike pride.

Just because I am a Mom, I do not want to hang up my (running) shoes and stop living. Rather, I want to keep doing everything that I was doing before and more.

It means that I get up at 5 am in the morning and hit the gym so that I am able to be back home at 7 sharp after which hubby gets to go to the gym. I am appalled at myself for being one of the freaks who supposedly wait outside the shutters so that they are the first ones to enter the gym. All so that I lose the ever-pregnant-never-delivery flab and tone into shape.

Since I do not have time to read my books, I take them to – don’t say yuck- the loo. Well, I have to read, no two things about that, and I will not let go of the books.

It is after becoming a mom that I started blogging, became the Secretary to my building and changed jobs. 3 things that I had never done before.

While I do not go to every other exhibition and every sale in the city but I do make it a point to be out with or without the kids every weekend. Even if it is just to buy the grocery. My kids are not sitting at home and watching TV just because their Mom & Dad get just the weekend to relax and stay at home.

While I may not have watched the movies in the theatre in a long time, we do have DVDs to the rescue, albeit watched at god forsaken hours or when the kids are asleep or if we are too desperate, we pause, attend to the kids and keep watching if they are awake.

When I get back home, there is no such thing as a relaxing snack and watching TV or taking a nap. It is getting down to business. If the kids have not had their walk, I take them out in the complex. Otherwise after the mandatory cuddling I sit with their books/ toys and really play with them. Just like the good old days when you get back from school and play! It is not out of compulsion but out of genuine love for them that I do it. I really enjoy it when my kids manage to make a sound like the tiger and manage to stack the rings correctly. And the way they clap after the achievement is a reward good enough for me. Not that I do not feel tired or impatient but then, I love the accolade of being a super mom too!

It is not that I am doing everything myself. I keep 2 maids and I make them work for their salary, to put things bluntly. The rule is simple- if the task keeps me away from the kids, then the maid does it. Even filling the water and making my bed. The ironing has been delegated to the ironing guy so that I am not tied up with it on the weekends when I could be doing fun things with my kids.

The day I do not have the help or a reliable person to supervise them and my kids (in this case the MIL), I place it on record that I will quit. And yes, as all moms have mentioned, the way the kids are brought up is my decision, even though the facilitators are others. And hubby dear stands by his promise of letting it be so.

So far I have managed to catch all the milestones and I am glad I didn’t have to come back from work and hear about them and feel sorry for missing them. The kids have cooperated!! I do feel bad about rushing away in the morning and letting them cry their heart out. I also used to sneak away to the house if I found them out in their pram with grandpa – not to avoid holding them, but the moment they used to see me they used to refuse to have their stroll. It broke my heart to do this to them but I did not want them to miss their share of fresh air.

I hope that my kids will be proud of me and my work and will not resent me for leaving them and going to work.

I end saying that I do not know whether I have made the right decision and I do not know whether I have made the decision for the right or wrong reasons but for the time being, I wish to stand by it. I feel this is the right way to get all round enrichment, and therefore so be it.

Kicking the Monday Blues

Guess how I kicked away those Monday Morning Blues! Guess how I gave Monday a big inferiority complex today! I beat Monday flat at it's own game. Monday would have been demotivated by seeing me thoroughly enjoy my work.

Another upside of working in the taste industry is buying market samples. I spent half a day starting this Monday morning buying confectionery samples. Officially working and unofficially enjoying the exploration of various stores. At all the stores I went today, the in-store music playing was foot tapping and fun - added bonus.

And maine behti ganga mein haath bhi dho liye-(simultaneously utilized the trip for purchasing other stuff)- I picked up a CD of my current favourite music (along with Guru) gangster too- combo with kalyug- which is currently playing on my laptop.

A perfect drive - no rush on the roads- Did not check the timebut reached office in just 2.5 songs from Adyar.

PS- My sister was horriified at me spending Monday morning in the shop and calling her to ask whether songs of kalyug is better or zeher (coincidently these were the 2 options available with Gangster combo).