I took a lot of care to ensure that I did not see any antagonising scene on TV or books or net when I was pregnant.
I did not read the Mahabharata.
I controlled my fits of anger and became sweet and nice and patient and uncomplaining.
I did not even quarrel with the husband.
Why would you understand all this?
Why wouldn't you remain glued to the TV when the woman on that all important programme is crying over another person who has hanged herself. Or when a woman is throwing a hysterical fit and screaming at such a decibel that even my children of 8 months are attracted towards the TV?
Why would you bother to lower the volume or change channels?
The Scorpios
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Friday, May 30, 2008
Tiny Thoughts- Jealousy
I cannot say I am unaffected when I see the two of them kissing each other with gusto and excluding me inspite of my repeated pleadings.
I am actually jealous that they would exclude me from their circle so easily.
These 2.5 year old tiny pieces called my sons have this knack of bringing out the worst in me.
I am actually jealous that they would exclude me from their circle so easily.
These 2.5 year old tiny pieces called my sons have this knack of bringing out the worst in me.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Taking Pleasures for Granted
Last Sunday I noticed a family of 5 on a bike- 3 kids & 2 adults. I responded with my usual reaction- how foolish. Why take such a risk.
Why actually?
1. They do not have the money for public transport & they would rather risk their lives and take their own transport.
2. Hassles of Mass transport system- overcrowded, cannot get a seat, alighting points not convenient.
3. They just do not imagine it is so risky - rather the adage- tragedy happens to others.
4. Saving that extra rupee- if everytime the family needs to go out, and they take a public transport- it is a huge drain on their finances.
Overloaded buses, almost tilted to one side due to the more than extra weight on the door side is a common sight. Mostly during college/ school hours or office time. In their desperate attempt to save every extra rupee and every little minute to reach their destination on time, they risk their lives everyday by travelling on the footboard and beyond.
I have a big one with these helmet wearers also. They only believe that the rider needs this protection and not the pillion rider. As it is I find bikes unsafe because staying on seat depends on your hands- the moment your hands leave the handlebar- you have a close to 100% risk of falling off.
Made me think how we take life's little pleasures for granted. Today I cannot imagine a life without a car or rather more than a single car per family. It is not my right to judge the above set of people because there was a day when I was travelling these crowded buses & vans & share autos so that I could reach office on time. So that I could save a 100 bucks of auto fare.
There was a time when I did not mind eating a quick breakfast a the cheap hotels. Today, even a Sangeeta hotel is not too good for me because the last time I went there, I found a hair on the table. Considering that I was pregnant at that time, it is excusable that I found it revolting and vowed never to eat there again.
I solemnly promise, I will never take that coffee day cake, sandwich & frappe for granted. Atleast for the bomb they charge they are giving me a clean place to relax.
I have lived in a place where there is frequent loadshedding expecially during the day to divert the power to the factories. We have lived through power cuts during summer taking our chairs outside in the garden or the terrace and enjoying a moonlight chat / antakshari and a lovely breeze if lucky. We studied by candlelight and slept with the little breeze that came in via the window or used a hand fan.
Today even a few seconds of power cut is enough to make us grumble and start calling the Electricity Board for quick service. I have spend 3 hours straight one night just fanning my sons through the power cut because I knew if they wake up, the troubles are multifold. So it is easier to fan them while they sleep.
Makes me appreciate the joy of air conditioning & continuous supply of electricity in offices.
Same with water- every drop is precious to me also because only here I have experienced 24 hour water supply. Water was rationed to one or sometimes 2 supplies during the day in our town. That is why I scream everytime I see a leaking tap or find that the maid has opened the tap in nearly full blast. It is so precious that I am scared to enjoy it.
Infrastructure, convenience, hygiene factors- one can never be satisfied- the bar moves everytime we feel we have reached it. But that is also in a way a name for progress!
The point of this post is to appreciate these little pleasures thrown my way- a clean toilet, greenery, on time delivery of mail/ on-time landing of flight, safety, security in my apartment complex, long distance calls on the mobile...
Why actually?
1. They do not have the money for public transport & they would rather risk their lives and take their own transport.
2. Hassles of Mass transport system- overcrowded, cannot get a seat, alighting points not convenient.
3. They just do not imagine it is so risky - rather the adage- tragedy happens to others.
4. Saving that extra rupee- if everytime the family needs to go out, and they take a public transport- it is a huge drain on their finances.
Overloaded buses, almost tilted to one side due to the more than extra weight on the door side is a common sight. Mostly during college/ school hours or office time. In their desperate attempt to save every extra rupee and every little minute to reach their destination on time, they risk their lives everyday by travelling on the footboard and beyond.
I have a big one with these helmet wearers also. They only believe that the rider needs this protection and not the pillion rider. As it is I find bikes unsafe because staying on seat depends on your hands- the moment your hands leave the handlebar- you have a close to 100% risk of falling off.
Made me think how we take life's little pleasures for granted. Today I cannot imagine a life without a car or rather more than a single car per family. It is not my right to judge the above set of people because there was a day when I was travelling these crowded buses & vans & share autos so that I could reach office on time. So that I could save a 100 bucks of auto fare.
There was a time when I did not mind eating a quick breakfast a the cheap hotels. Today, even a Sangeeta hotel is not too good for me because the last time I went there, I found a hair on the table. Considering that I was pregnant at that time, it is excusable that I found it revolting and vowed never to eat there again.
I solemnly promise, I will never take that coffee day cake, sandwich & frappe for granted. Atleast for the bomb they charge they are giving me a clean place to relax.
I have lived in a place where there is frequent loadshedding expecially during the day to divert the power to the factories. We have lived through power cuts during summer taking our chairs outside in the garden or the terrace and enjoying a moonlight chat / antakshari and a lovely breeze if lucky. We studied by candlelight and slept with the little breeze that came in via the window or used a hand fan.
Today even a few seconds of power cut is enough to make us grumble and start calling the Electricity Board for quick service. I have spend 3 hours straight one night just fanning my sons through the power cut because I knew if they wake up, the troubles are multifold. So it is easier to fan them while they sleep.
Makes me appreciate the joy of air conditioning & continuous supply of electricity in offices.
Same with water- every drop is precious to me also because only here I have experienced 24 hour water supply. Water was rationed to one or sometimes 2 supplies during the day in our town. That is why I scream everytime I see a leaking tap or find that the maid has opened the tap in nearly full blast. It is so precious that I am scared to enjoy it.
Infrastructure, convenience, hygiene factors- one can never be satisfied- the bar moves everytime we feel we have reached it. But that is also in a way a name for progress!
The point of this post is to appreciate these little pleasures thrown my way- a clean toilet, greenery, on time delivery of mail/ on-time landing of flight, safety, security in my apartment complex, long distance calls on the mobile...
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Circle of Bonding
I have often argued that it is mandatory to have a sibling. Because after your parents, the sibling is your only close family - someone who has shared your childhood, your room, your parents and your clothes. Someone who knows you almost as well as you know yourself. When I see Ojas & Tejas rolling on the bed laughing together, play acting, quarreling, protecting each other, I can see the wisdom of having siblings. And more than just siblings, I am probably coming to terms with having two male children. My theory about men and women bonding with their own gender better.
Lot of people say that I have enough cousins to share my childhood with. I argue again. For your child your cousins' children are further removed from the family. Even your sibling's children are first cousins. And no longer in today's context they will share their childhood. The bonding is stronger with own sibling anyday! So are you ensuring that you are securing your child's future interms of having a companion in the form of a sibling after you?
What would I have done if I did not have siblings whom I can call up anytime and ask to baby sit so that I could go to the gym or the parlour or the movie? Who is my fall-back in times of great emotional need? Whom do I pick up the phone and call when I want to gossip or share the latest?
We siblings lived together in chennai- both sisters working and brother studying. There were times when we fought, argued, did not speak for a few days and then were back to normal. Just like how I do that with my husband now.
I feel heartened everytime I see my or K's sibling(s) spend time with the kids, treat them as their own and indulge them royally. I sometimes wonder what is it that they enjoy about spending time with someone else's kids? What prompts them to take them for a quick drive or enjoy playing with them? I don't know whether I would live up to the standards they have set in enjoying my children. Or maybe I would know when I see them! The call of blood will perhaps come into play.
My another deepest wish is to have a close circle of friends with whom I can bond emotionally and socially. It is a little inexplicible but i mean the kind who fall in the category of "best friend in school"- one can have many friends but only a few will make a gang or a circle- who will eat lunch together, play togther during recess, may be live in and out of each other's house and freak out together. And among the lot, maybe one can have one or two- best friends.
These category of friends would be someone whom I will not hesitate to call in times of greatest need. Families with whom we could spend the weekend/ go for a trip/ or have a simple weekend or anytime dinner.
Someone who will not mind babysitting my kids or would not think twice before letting their kids have a pajama party in my house. Where formality would not be allowed or expected.
Someone who will not mind holding my kid's hand while I shop in peace. Someone with whom I will not quarrel to pay the bill or my share of dinner in a hotel, or would be equally comfortable doing frequent dutch meals. We could together rant away to glory and not be judged but supported and also neither would the subject(s) of the rant be judged. They are the sort of friends whom you will call up and inform the important, unimportant, exciting and random events of your life- because each of you would understand exactly why the event is interesting to you. My friend AD called me up to tell me that she got her copies of Jeffery Archer books signed by the author himself, after standing in a long queue. She called me exactly for this reason because she simply had to share that elation she felt after shaking hands with the author incarnate.
I have seen friends who routinely take my kids out for a drive or indulge them with their favourite snack - when one does it once or twice it could be ajudged as just a formality- but doing it regularly does mean something.
All of us need family friends like these where both spouses can connect else it becomes difficult to continue the friendship.
On this note I count my blessings that there are a lot of kind souls out there who genuinely take interest in my kids.
Lot of people say that I have enough cousins to share my childhood with. I argue again. For your child your cousins' children are further removed from the family. Even your sibling's children are first cousins. And no longer in today's context they will share their childhood. The bonding is stronger with own sibling anyday! So are you ensuring that you are securing your child's future interms of having a companion in the form of a sibling after you?
What would I have done if I did not have siblings whom I can call up anytime and ask to baby sit so that I could go to the gym or the parlour or the movie? Who is my fall-back in times of great emotional need? Whom do I pick up the phone and call when I want to gossip or share the latest?
We siblings lived together in chennai- both sisters working and brother studying. There were times when we fought, argued, did not speak for a few days and then were back to normal. Just like how I do that with my husband now.
I feel heartened everytime I see my or K's sibling(s) spend time with the kids, treat them as their own and indulge them royally. I sometimes wonder what is it that they enjoy about spending time with someone else's kids? What prompts them to take them for a quick drive or enjoy playing with them? I don't know whether I would live up to the standards they have set in enjoying my children. Or maybe I would know when I see them! The call of blood will perhaps come into play.
My another deepest wish is to have a close circle of friends with whom I can bond emotionally and socially. It is a little inexplicible but i mean the kind who fall in the category of "best friend in school"- one can have many friends but only a few will make a gang or a circle- who will eat lunch together, play togther during recess, may be live in and out of each other's house and freak out together. And among the lot, maybe one can have one or two- best friends.
These category of friends would be someone whom I will not hesitate to call in times of greatest need. Families with whom we could spend the weekend/ go for a trip/ or have a simple weekend or anytime dinner.
Someone who will not mind babysitting my kids or would not think twice before letting their kids have a pajama party in my house. Where formality would not be allowed or expected.
Someone who will not mind holding my kid's hand while I shop in peace. Someone with whom I will not quarrel to pay the bill or my share of dinner in a hotel, or would be equally comfortable doing frequent dutch meals. We could together rant away to glory and not be judged but supported and also neither would the subject(s) of the rant be judged. They are the sort of friends whom you will call up and inform the important, unimportant, exciting and random events of your life- because each of you would understand exactly why the event is interesting to you. My friend AD called me up to tell me that she got her copies of Jeffery Archer books signed by the author himself, after standing in a long queue. She called me exactly for this reason because she simply had to share that elation she felt after shaking hands with the author incarnate.
I have seen friends who routinely take my kids out for a drive or indulge them with their favourite snack - when one does it once or twice it could be ajudged as just a formality- but doing it regularly does mean something.
All of us need family friends like these where both spouses can connect else it becomes difficult to continue the friendship.
On this note I count my blessings that there are a lot of kind souls out there who genuinely take interest in my kids.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Ojas Tejas on a Roll
Me- Tejas say Lion
Tejas obediently- Lion
Me- Ojas say Lion
Tejas- No. Tiger
Mausi- what is my eyes colour
Tejas- Black
Mausi- what is Tejas eye colour
Tejas- Brown. (aspirations, aspirations)
Cutest act of the week-My neighbour with twins visited us. After a while she got up to leave and lifted one child in her arms. Ojas pointed at the other one and frantically shouted- "some more, some more"
What made me laugh the most this week- One night at bedtime, I was singing to them. I started with "Dilli ki sardi" my favourite corny number. They listened politely.
Then I sang "Jhalak dikhla jaa"- their favourite song at 6 months age. Ojas asked for "dhoom macha le". Tejas immediately asked for 'lakdi ki kathi". An argument ensued. I ended up singing Jhalak dikhla ja yet again. Tejas says- no 'lakika lakika". So I asked "lakdi ki kathi" he says no wrong, correct karo. "Lakika lakika" and tried to sing it in similar tune to "jhalak dikhla ja" confusing me.
I again sang "dilli ki sardi". He says- no, that is finished , sing "lakika lakika" . Ultimately I sang "lakdi ki kathi" and he says- Haaan correct.
- When one of them is talking on the phone and the other is creating a commotion, he says- Ekdum Choop (Keep your mouth shut)
- The other day I caught them telling each other "basket". We never use that word at home. Wonder where they picked it up.
- Tejas- pointing at an imaginary point on his knee- dekho, big chot, no touch ok. (see, this is a big bruise...) (Actually I have a big bruise on my knee and he is aspiring to get one too)
- If they don't like anyone- baikuff (bevakoof- foolish)
- Or if someone or they themselves is doing something silly- buddhu, bamash (foolish, naughty)
- After "breaking wind" or whenever he smells any odour, Tejas says- Mamma smell (mamma has done it). I am glad that his olfactory skills take after me.
- Seeing my new nightie/ new nailpolish- Mamma, nice!- Atleast 2 out of the 3 men in my life are noticing me. The take after their father (maa- bhakts)!
My future is secure. (Perhaps they will insist on taking me along for their honeymoon) (evil grin)
Monday, May 26, 2008
Happy Week
Naturals Salon- Wednesday-Pedicure
Got noticed by the kids- Mamma- white (silver nailpolish)- very nice
Barbecue Nation- with AD. also recieved a lovely belated b'day gift.
The surprise factor of the restaurant is the unexpected proportions. The place is huge and has deep pockets. Nooks & rooms and sections built all over offering open seating as well as private rooms and close to 200 seats I am told. The place was unexpectedly buzzing with activity on Thursday afternoon. For Rs 400 a plate- we were served 10 varieties of kababs- 5 veg which were largely untouched. There was the buffet which was given the royal ignore in favour of the unlimited kababs served with great gusto. A drink was included. I chose a Lychee based. One can choose an alcoholic drink too. The decor is all low height seats, bamboos, a bow& arrow on the wall gave a rustic touch. Diners are supposed to lower the flag when we want them to stop serving. We attackd the desserts which according to me was not too great but not bad either. Anyway- they more than make up during the kababs.
Olympia IT park- Food court- Subway for lunch on Friday with hubby whisking me off from the office for lunch
Wang's Kitchen- for dinner on Friday. Lovely chicken lollypops. I think I like it better than Cascade.
Got noticed by the kids- Mamma- white (silver nailpolish)- very nice
Barbecue Nation- with AD. also recieved a lovely belated b'day gift.
The surprise factor of the restaurant is the unexpected proportions. The place is huge and has deep pockets. Nooks & rooms and sections built all over offering open seating as well as private rooms and close to 200 seats I am told. The place was unexpectedly buzzing with activity on Thursday afternoon. For Rs 400 a plate- we were served 10 varieties of kababs- 5 veg which were largely untouched. There was the buffet which was given the royal ignore in favour of the unlimited kababs served with great gusto. A drink was included. I chose a Lychee based. One can choose an alcoholic drink too. The decor is all low height seats, bamboos, a bow& arrow on the wall gave a rustic touch. Diners are supposed to lower the flag when we want them to stop serving. We attackd the desserts which according to me was not too great but not bad either. Anyway- they more than make up during the kababs.
Olympia IT park- Food court- Subway for lunch on Friday with hubby whisking me off from the office for lunch
Wang's Kitchen- for dinner on Friday. Lovely chicken lollypops. I think I like it better than Cascade.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Boy, 2-Boys, Yet Another Boy
The family welcomes another boy in the fold.
4th in line in the extended family on my Mom's side.
The scales are weighing down in favour of men.
So long it had been equal- 2 brother, 2 sisters- Followed by 4 cousin boys & 4 cousin girls.
This generation is totally skewed!
4th in line in the extended family on my Mom's side.
The scales are weighing down in favour of men.
So long it had been equal- 2 brother, 2 sisters- Followed by 4 cousin boys & 4 cousin girls.
This generation is totally skewed!
Friday, May 23, 2008
Boy or Girl
"Do you want a boy or a girl?"
Almost every parent-to-be has been confronted with this dirty question. The poor parent of today especially in India has no choice but to reply in politically correct terms- I have not given it a thought, anything would be ok or I have no problem as long as it is a healthy baby...
Then there are the ones who do serious guess work looking at the size and elevation of the stomach. Family members predict the gender based on the horoscope. Like my Mom was told that we girls were born because of her (bad) luck because my Dad had boys in his destiny. Notwithstanding the fact that the person who told her had more number of daughters than sons.
Like I got a reaction from unexpected quarters- kahin do ladkiyan na ho jaye ( Hopefully you don't have 2 girls). Since the reasons behind the statement were wrong, I did not like it at all.
Yet another person said that hope you don't have 2 boys because boys are unmanageable.
Then there was a guess work from someone who did not know that I was carrying twins- definitely boy - the tummy is so big!
Now what is this all about hoping and wishing on my and my husband's behalf? It is all upto us what we want and what we don't right? Why is someone else concerned. What if I had wanted 2 boys wouldn't I have cursed this lady to hell for wishing I didn't have 2 boys?
I don't know what people get with asking such questions. Do they really expect answers? They may be talking shop just for the sake of conversation but those comments made me fiercely protective of whatever child I was carrying. Why should my unborn child be inflicted with wishes of preferred gender?
Well, inspite of myself, I used to corner hubby with this question. Since we were expecting twins, we could dare to wish for the best of both worlds- a boy and a girl. Infact we did not want to give Destiny a chance of any other combination because on one go, our options were going to close, in our context.
But then I used to take a tougher stance with hubby. What if you have the option of either 2 boys or 2 girls only. My husband would answer 2 girls. Then I would remind him - what about cricket? Who will talk cricket with you then? He immediately answered- then 2 boys!
When I introspect, the very reason I want a girl is to have a life long companion for gossiping, girly talks, bitching, shopping expeditions, discussing the latest fashion, reading similar genres of books. To me, daughters are like soul mates to the mother. They will bear with you till your doddering end. I am literally scared that I will have nobody to turn to at that crucial juncture when I badly want to connect. Probably a man feels the same about wishing for a boy. A back-slapping buddy who will enjoy the same stuff, have man-to-man talk with him, and ultimately become a companion over boyish exploits. This need to connect with the same gender is primitive.
A neighbour used to say- I am very clear I want to have a boy. I don't want my child to go through these troubles of being a woman. Very clear about her wishes and not afraid to speak it out loud. I respect her for that.
I really don't think there is anything wrong in parents wanting a baby of a particular gender. Tomorrow when my children are going to read this, I don't want them to think that I love them less because one of them is not a girl. It was just a wish to be blessed with having both experiences. For days after they were born, I could not believe that one of them is not a girl because I was sort of sure that it is going to be that way. But it does not mean that I love them less.
Probably in the Indian context it is easier for one to say wish I had atleast one girl and not hurt any sentiments. But had it been the other way round, if they were both girls and I would have been going all over the place telling wish one of them was a boy, it would have hurt sentiments and activists perhaps making them feel I am regretting not giving birth to a male child. People would have sniggered- oh, a modern, educated woman is speaking like this and setting a bad example.
My question again- is it so wrong to wish for a particular gender? Probably yes in the Indian context.
So can we make a beginning by not judging any parent who says that they want a boy baby?
Almost every parent-to-be has been confronted with this dirty question. The poor parent of today especially in India has no choice but to reply in politically correct terms- I have not given it a thought, anything would be ok or I have no problem as long as it is a healthy baby...
Then there are the ones who do serious guess work looking at the size and elevation of the stomach. Family members predict the gender based on the horoscope. Like my Mom was told that we girls were born because of her (bad) luck because my Dad had boys in his destiny. Notwithstanding the fact that the person who told her had more number of daughters than sons.
Like I got a reaction from unexpected quarters- kahin do ladkiyan na ho jaye ( Hopefully you don't have 2 girls). Since the reasons behind the statement were wrong, I did not like it at all.
Yet another person said that hope you don't have 2 boys because boys are unmanageable.
Then there was a guess work from someone who did not know that I was carrying twins- definitely boy - the tummy is so big!
Now what is this all about hoping and wishing on my and my husband's behalf? It is all upto us what we want and what we don't right? Why is someone else concerned. What if I had wanted 2 boys wouldn't I have cursed this lady to hell for wishing I didn't have 2 boys?
I don't know what people get with asking such questions. Do they really expect answers? They may be talking shop just for the sake of conversation but those comments made me fiercely protective of whatever child I was carrying. Why should my unborn child be inflicted with wishes of preferred gender?
Well, inspite of myself, I used to corner hubby with this question. Since we were expecting twins, we could dare to wish for the best of both worlds- a boy and a girl. Infact we did not want to give Destiny a chance of any other combination because on one go, our options were going to close, in our context.
But then I used to take a tougher stance with hubby. What if you have the option of either 2 boys or 2 girls only. My husband would answer 2 girls. Then I would remind him - what about cricket? Who will talk cricket with you then? He immediately answered- then 2 boys!
When I introspect, the very reason I want a girl is to have a life long companion for gossiping, girly talks, bitching, shopping expeditions, discussing the latest fashion, reading similar genres of books. To me, daughters are like soul mates to the mother. They will bear with you till your doddering end. I am literally scared that I will have nobody to turn to at that crucial juncture when I badly want to connect. Probably a man feels the same about wishing for a boy. A back-slapping buddy who will enjoy the same stuff, have man-to-man talk with him, and ultimately become a companion over boyish exploits. This need to connect with the same gender is primitive.
A neighbour used to say- I am very clear I want to have a boy. I don't want my child to go through these troubles of being a woman. Very clear about her wishes and not afraid to speak it out loud. I respect her for that.
I really don't think there is anything wrong in parents wanting a baby of a particular gender. Tomorrow when my children are going to read this, I don't want them to think that I love them less because one of them is not a girl. It was just a wish to be blessed with having both experiences. For days after they were born, I could not believe that one of them is not a girl because I was sort of sure that it is going to be that way. But it does not mean that I love them less.
Probably in the Indian context it is easier for one to say wish I had atleast one girl and not hurt any sentiments. But had it been the other way round, if they were both girls and I would have been going all over the place telling wish one of them was a boy, it would have hurt sentiments and activists perhaps making them feel I am regretting not giving birth to a male child. People would have sniggered- oh, a modern, educated woman is speaking like this and setting a bad example.
My question again- is it so wrong to wish for a particular gender? Probably yes in the Indian context.
So can we make a beginning by not judging any parent who says that they want a boy baby?
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Some More of Ojas Tejas
1. Height of exaggeration- If I slap them-they say hands tooti / buttom (buttocks) tooty. Cream lagao- meaning hands/ bum is broken. apply cream
2. Height of orderliness- I was cutting a mango and kept a plate near the kitchen sink. Tejas asks me to put the plate on the proper place- kitchen slab. I held the mango in my hand to cut off. He advices me- no hands, plate mein rakho, gir java. (put in the plate and cut else the mango will fall)
3. Height of naming- The forceps are called spoon scissors- because it looks like a pair of scissors & is placed in the spoon drawer I suppose. And then they say give me scissors because this is Koo. (now what is koo- don't ask me)
4. I asked them what is Ojas' name- Tejas replies "Anna". What is Tejas name? Ojas replies- "Tambi", followed by a lot of laughter. Now I don't go around teaching them to call each other anna / tambi because I don't want to differentiate just bcause of th birth order as in my eyes they are equal, even though Ojas is considered first among the two equals.
5. I asked Tejas how does Ojas cry?- he says- Baaaaaa
6. I sometimes discuss with Ojas - is Tejas a bad boy, just within hearing of Tejas. Tejas is quick to say- Aaai, Tejas goo-boy.
7. Confused- Ojas confused between the words Pizza & design
8. They talk on the phone & when I ask them who they are talking to- they say An(o)ushka- now don't know which one of the 2 they know
9. Blame Game-
me- who broke this?
Both- Tejas/ Ojas- pointing at each other
Me- Ojas you broke?
Ojas- No, Tejas
Me- Tejas- you broke?
Tejas- No, Ojas
Together- smiling conspirately at each other, point at me and say- Mamma broke
(mujhe hi chor banaa deta hai)
2. Height of orderliness- I was cutting a mango and kept a plate near the kitchen sink. Tejas asks me to put the plate on the proper place- kitchen slab. I held the mango in my hand to cut off. He advices me- no hands, plate mein rakho, gir java. (put in the plate and cut else the mango will fall)
3. Height of naming- The forceps are called spoon scissors- because it looks like a pair of scissors & is placed in the spoon drawer I suppose. And then they say give me scissors because this is Koo. (now what is koo- don't ask me)
4. I asked them what is Ojas' name- Tejas replies "Anna". What is Tejas name? Ojas replies- "Tambi", followed by a lot of laughter. Now I don't go around teaching them to call each other anna / tambi because I don't want to differentiate just bcause of th birth order as in my eyes they are equal, even though Ojas is considered first among the two equals.
5. I asked Tejas how does Ojas cry?- he says- Baaaaaa
6. I sometimes discuss with Ojas - is Tejas a bad boy, just within hearing of Tejas. Tejas is quick to say- Aaai, Tejas goo-boy.
7. Confused- Ojas confused between the words Pizza & design
8. They talk on the phone & when I ask them who they are talking to- they say An(o)ushka- now don't know which one of the 2 they know
9. Blame Game-
me- who broke this?
Both- Tejas/ Ojas- pointing at each other
Me- Ojas you broke?
Ojas- No, Tejas
Me- Tejas- you broke?
Tejas- No, Ojas
Together- smiling conspirately at each other, point at me and say- Mamma broke
(mujhe hi chor banaa deta hai)
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Working Life Status Quo or Change? Questioning Self
Yesterday I entered into the 10th year of my working life.
Life in the city began 9 years ago when I walked into my ex-office, all apprehensive, eager and raring to go.
I was a mere trainee but none the less in terms of attitude, expectations and opinion.
I wanted to learn as much as possible, spent hours dogging the experienced ones, learning, soaking, absorbing every new thing that came my way. For in the business of fragrances, no great MBA degree would help. It all depended ultimately on your smelling, relating and recalling skills. It was all a game of aptitude, attitude and creativity rather than plain degrees.
It meant you have to remember details, correlate experiences and above all be extremely curious. It meant smelling a new perfume or a chemical and searching the depths of your memory and extracting the most relevant one so that you could learn, commit to memory and classify this new perfume that you have experienced. It meant picking up this new perfume out of your memory or physical records and submitting at the time of a new project. It required constant oiling of wheels and practice unfolding each dimension of the fragrance in our mind's eyes.
I am a kind of person who gets comfortable with status quo and thrfore I thought fragrances will remain my first & last love and I would end up staying in the fragrance industry if not the same company. But after 7 plus years, I changed. Not just the company but also the category- I moved from fragrance to flavour and it has taken more than a year for me to realize that I am enjoying working in flavours as much if not more than fragrances in terms of the creative width it gives me. There is always a new project to work on and new concept to generate or new ideas to think of.
And here comes the conflict-I am enjoying it here & am comfortable but do I want to spend a lifetime doing just this? Nothing new to do/ explore/ try out? Do I want to spend my entire life working for someone else and dreaming of flexi time and other convenient arrangements? After all we work to get easy access to pleasure and then we cannot take time off from work to splurge the money on a holiday or pleasure. We look to work hard now and enjoy later. But how soon is later? Is it anytime now or when we get old and tired and are nearing retirement.
In the last 9 years, I have hated, loved and become comfortable in Chennai city. I have reached a plateaue in terms of expectations and amazement for the city that has modernised right before my eyes. The IT parks never fail to fascinate me and those are the times when I wish that I should have taken IT as a career or atleast have an office in such a location. There was a time when Spencer mall was the hangout in Chennai and today we are lagging behind malls of Gurgaon / Bangalore etc.
At this juncture, I am facing a conflict of sorts- do I want to end up living my entire working life in this one city itself? When I retire from working life, will I regret not taking a chance? Will hubby agree? He seems to be pretty much wedded to Chennai.
I got married, bought an apartment (on EMI) in a prime location, got pregnant, had 2 lovely kids to show off, and now they are going to start school next month. On the face of it, what more could one want? A bigger house (with EMI paid up), better location, more facilities...it doesn't end anytime.
I managed to hold on to my job through this despite conflicting emotions of not giving enough time and attention to the kids.
Now what? Is in't it a little late in the day for hoping to explore more cities for living? After so much of time and investment in identifying the correct school here? After Hubby started his business here?
What is my net worth today- few close friends, family, rare personal phone calls, hardly a place where I could land unanounced and still get invited to stay for dinner, a handful of people who would care enough to take my child to the toilet if needed or pay for my food without making me feel obliged to pay back or return the favour. Can my children call any house here as the one where they almost lived in their childhood apart from their own home? The sort of homes where you are always in & out of, you can do a pajama party & sleepovers- a little too soon for me to think about as they have not yet reached the age when they pick & choose their buddy?
Am I going to end up feeling sorry that I did nothing different from status quo all this while? Thinking I did not enjoy life at all? As I take each day as it comes, I am happy. But from a wholistic point of view, I am not sure the resume of my life will be full of variety.
Life in the city began 9 years ago when I walked into my ex-office, all apprehensive, eager and raring to go.
I was a mere trainee but none the less in terms of attitude, expectations and opinion.
I wanted to learn as much as possible, spent hours dogging the experienced ones, learning, soaking, absorbing every new thing that came my way. For in the business of fragrances, no great MBA degree would help. It all depended ultimately on your smelling, relating and recalling skills. It was all a game of aptitude, attitude and creativity rather than plain degrees.
It meant you have to remember details, correlate experiences and above all be extremely curious. It meant smelling a new perfume or a chemical and searching the depths of your memory and extracting the most relevant one so that you could learn, commit to memory and classify this new perfume that you have experienced. It meant picking up this new perfume out of your memory or physical records and submitting at the time of a new project. It required constant oiling of wheels and practice unfolding each dimension of the fragrance in our mind's eyes.
I am a kind of person who gets comfortable with status quo and thrfore I thought fragrances will remain my first & last love and I would end up staying in the fragrance industry if not the same company. But after 7 plus years, I changed. Not just the company but also the category- I moved from fragrance to flavour and it has taken more than a year for me to realize that I am enjoying working in flavours as much if not more than fragrances in terms of the creative width it gives me. There is always a new project to work on and new concept to generate or new ideas to think of.
And here comes the conflict-I am enjoying it here & am comfortable but do I want to spend a lifetime doing just this? Nothing new to do/ explore/ try out? Do I want to spend my entire life working for someone else and dreaming of flexi time and other convenient arrangements? After all we work to get easy access to pleasure and then we cannot take time off from work to splurge the money on a holiday or pleasure. We look to work hard now and enjoy later. But how soon is later? Is it anytime now or when we get old and tired and are nearing retirement.
In the last 9 years, I have hated, loved and become comfortable in Chennai city. I have reached a plateaue in terms of expectations and amazement for the city that has modernised right before my eyes. The IT parks never fail to fascinate me and those are the times when I wish that I should have taken IT as a career or atleast have an office in such a location. There was a time when Spencer mall was the hangout in Chennai and today we are lagging behind malls of Gurgaon / Bangalore etc.
At this juncture, I am facing a conflict of sorts- do I want to end up living my entire working life in this one city itself? When I retire from working life, will I regret not taking a chance? Will hubby agree? He seems to be pretty much wedded to Chennai.
I got married, bought an apartment (on EMI) in a prime location, got pregnant, had 2 lovely kids to show off, and now they are going to start school next month. On the face of it, what more could one want? A bigger house (with EMI paid up), better location, more facilities...it doesn't end anytime.
I managed to hold on to my job through this despite conflicting emotions of not giving enough time and attention to the kids.
Now what? Is in't it a little late in the day for hoping to explore more cities for living? After so much of time and investment in identifying the correct school here? After Hubby started his business here?
What is my net worth today- few close friends, family, rare personal phone calls, hardly a place where I could land unanounced and still get invited to stay for dinner, a handful of people who would care enough to take my child to the toilet if needed or pay for my food without making me feel obliged to pay back or return the favour. Can my children call any house here as the one where they almost lived in their childhood apart from their own home? The sort of homes where you are always in & out of, you can do a pajama party & sleepovers- a little too soon for me to think about as they have not yet reached the age when they pick & choose their buddy?
Am I going to end up feeling sorry that I did nothing different from status quo all this while? Thinking I did not enjoy life at all? As I take each day as it comes, I am happy. But from a wholistic point of view, I am not sure the resume of my life will be full of variety.
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