Ps and Queues

Scene 1
Me at 2nd position in the queue at Reliance Fresh outlet.
A guy and a girl come over. The guy has lot of veggies / Chocolates gathered in his arms. He placed it on the billing counter. I knew what was on his mind. I quickly put my shopping basket on the counter. The billing guy started billing the other person’s items. I told him “would you please bill mine first since it is very obvious I was waiting in the queue”. The guy quietly billed mine. The lady sniggered and passed some comments which I couldn’t quite well catch.
Mind you, I voluntarily allow people with 1 or 2 items to go ahead and get theirs billed before mine. What irked me that day was that these people behaved as if it was their birth right to jump the queue and be first. They could have lined up behind me and needn’t have created this scene. Or they could have politely asked if they were in such a rush to catch some train or flight!
This total lack of manners appalls me. Even school kids have more sense. They know how to take turns and use the swing or how to wait in queue to get into the bus or say please and thank you. As adults we tend to forget the basics.
Scene 2
2 years ago we were waiting as a parking slot at Poompuhar was getting vacated. Just when we were attempting to park, a Qualis cut us from the left and moved in. I was carrying that time and normally was scared of confronting people at that condition but don’t know what happened to me, I just walked out and told the driver that we were waiting to park. My God! The whole bunch of those inside began yelling at me. Finally the security chased them off that area threatening them with police and all. I was shaking for quite some time at my foolishness in attempting to get them see reason especially when I was carrying and was obviously on a weaker wicket!
Scene 3
I remember in my hostel days, I was waiting to buy the ticket. Would you believe it, a policeman shoved his way through? I told him off saying you are the one who has to guard the law and not break it. You should protect us from miscreants but you are being he culprit. Sheepishly that guy removed his large hands from the ticket counter and allowed me to be first!
Scene 4
I was trying to buy some cakes from Nilgiri’s counter. A father, mother, son trio were waiting for their bill. The 3 of them were hogging the entire space of the small counter in such a way that nobody can come near the display and make their selection. After all it takes a while to choose from the assortment to cakes & snacks! I don’t know what is the compulsion for the entire family to gather at the counter that too for the bill? As if they are the only customers and nobody else matters. Why can’t they just back off? That too after I made 2-3 polite circles around them and obvious attempts to break the inner circle. They just looked at me and turned away, and I somehow I found it even more difficult to look through the gaps between them.
I don’t know why nobody wants to be 2nd. Everyone wants to be first as far as self gratification is concerned. Why not be the first to volunteer for something worthwhile? Why not be the first to speak out where it matters? We keep our traps shut that time but when it comes to self, oh we break queues; we curry favours from everyone starting the door man to receptionist to get in first. Try observing people in a doctor’s waiting room! The way they follow the receptionist to be able to get in faster on some pretext or the other!
Oh, well as rants go, this one will keep going if I don’t stop it!
Take it up as a tag! Share your worst "ps & qs" related memories!!

Ojas & Tejas Update

Inside the Glass Lift at GRT

1. Ojas has responded to teasing in a not very sportive manner. He broke his pencil into 2 and I laughed at him and began to rough him up a little bit. He gave me a tight slap on my right eye. He spent a few minutes pacifying me when I began to cry. He and Tejas were fighting over a particular cloth diaper and he lost the battle. Hubby teased him and Ojas gave him a good beating in response. Need to watch out before provoking him.
2. Both have developed a sudden interest in fitting the puzzle pieces in the right slot. They know what goes where in their transport trays (2 nos), animal tray and Alphabet tray. Hey don’t like if any piece is missing and bug us to find them. Many times during the day, Tejas can be seen moving from one room to the next with the Alphabet tray and pieces in his hand and a few pieces clenched between his teeth. (this one is going to be a multi-tasker like his mom). Ojas likes to encourage Tejas and direct him from far when he working on the puzzle. He gives a hearty clap and wah wah when Tejas slots them correctly.
3. Ojas tried to put a diaper for me. He asked me to sit on the diaper and when I did so, he got annoyed as he could not see the ends of the diaper for securing it.
4. Tejas was pleasantly surprised watching a just taken-off plane from the car window on airport road.
5. They have got fairly settled on their sleeping routine. Both sleep on either side of me with their feet on my face preferably and milk bottle in their mouth.
6. They have started wearing slippers at home, albeit for short stretches. Got some good ones – footfun from liberty with a strap behind to secure it. Also a pair of bubblegummers from Bata which they love. Unfortunately I am yet to find another pair. I am trying to get them into this habit. I hate seeing them walk bare foot collecting all the dust. Infact picked up a couple of good sandals from Foot Fun for Rs 250 and their usual Kittens from Metro for Rs 450.
7. Tejas has got into the habit of selecting his and Ojas’ dresses for the day. Infact sometimes during the day, if he feels like it, he picks up another dress and asks for a change. Fast becoming an extreme clothes horse like his Dad, and his Mom’s genes is not helping either. Ojas is also picking up this habit now. They love new clothes and refuse to take them off once worn.
8. When Tejas cries, Ojas calls him, “Bah Bah Bah” and then tries to pacify him by running his hands or feet on Tejas’ face.
9. They can stand and touch their toes to nose.
10.They play ring a ring a roses and try to sing Rojes, Rojes, hatha hatha (Hasha whoosha) and then sit on the floor.
11.Anything on TV is either Cartooo (cartoon) or Kaate (will bite/ scary). Yesterday Dhoom II and Harry Potter last week got a fair share of such comments
12.They have picked up this nasty habit of chewing on cloth. When caught, Ojas tries to cover his head and Tejas tries to clean his ears with it.
13.Both lift their arms to get the deo sprayed.

Check out the Globus Sale. To my surprize I found some good kurtas!!

Are we channeling our child’s creativity?

‘No’, ‘Don’t’, ‘Stop’, ‘Sit quietly’, ‘Out of the way’, ‘Don’t mess’
Familiar words aren’t they? How many times we let kids be just that and not try to make them behave like semi adults? Rarely!! We are either over protective of the kids, our material possessions and our sanity or too tired to clear the mess after them or plain impatient. And the more we try to prevent them from doing something the harder they try to make sure they do the same.
I did exactly like that and one fine day realized that I am transforming more and more into a tyrant mom rather than the cool, hip mom I always intended to be. And I was not helping one bit in maintaining decorum as the double trouble found had their own methods of getting their way. Somewhere down the line, after motherhood, the real me got lost. I was no longer the same "Itchy Aunty" for whom the kids in the complex used to wait so that they could ask silly pun-lined quiz or tell PJs or discuss the curent story book they were reading.

Time to chill!

Principle 1
If you cannot beat them then join them
They love opening the drawers. I emptied the lower drawers and filled them with their toys and locked the others. Win-win situation.
Sometimes they cry when they can’t get things right like buckling/ unbuckling the belt. Lend them a helping hand.
Principle 2
Don’t stop or mollycoddle, attract with distraction
Take out puzzle or a toy and start playing with it as if it is the most interesting thing in the world, preferably turn your back against them. You bet they will sneak up behind you and join the fun
Principle 3
Time Out
No mine is not -stand in the corner. They will probably think it is some other game. Mine is “time to show belly button or chubby cheeks”. They just drop whatever they were doing or whatever tantrum they were throwing and play along.
Principle 4
Out
Put on their shoes and send/ take them out and have a nice time pointing at various stuffs.
Notes for future
Creative Play when they are bored
1. Scrap Book/ Collage making- mess up with pictures, cutting, pasting and cataloging.
2. Greeting Card making- we could even get the good ones scanned and printed
3. Story telling/ writing/ read and explain the story to me- an aunt used to ask my cousin to write his own story and he used to be quite imaginative for his age
4. Play with Clay
5. My favourite- jigsaw puzzles, jumbles, word games, building blocks, 20 questions, dumb charades
6. Drawing, Painting, Coloring book
7. Kinder – Garden- Nurture a plant, even if it’s a money plant in the bottle or a 9 o’clock rose in the pot. The easier the better.
8. Simple tasks- re arrange the cupboard/ book rack/ kitchen shelf in a self planned order- all whites together or all English books together etc. There is something extremely therapeutic about cleaning and re organizing.
9. Count up your collection in the piggy bank, buy something out of it.
10. Go shopping
11. Monopoly
12. Music- sing, play or listen
PS to self-Don’t forget the activities need to include you or hubby or both

Factual Fiction- Illness

The friend mentioned that she had a mysterious pain at the back of her head.
She started worrying. Wishing well for her friend.
“May be it is because of the root canal treatment I am undergoing.”
“Yes, it could be because of that. May be it is that only. I am sure it is because of the tooth problem. Any tooth or ear problem often affects the neighbouring regions. Check with the doc, it must be that.”
Her mind was at rest. After attributing the ailment to a cause.

What lengths people go to annoy a pregnant woman

1. Tell you not to tell anyone about the pregnancy until 3 months are over- well I have told you, why can’t I tell anyone else
2. Worse still, they do it for you- flash your news to the world
3. Ask loudly in a crowd- How many months?
4. Wonder looking at your tummy- you look as if you can deliver anytime
5. Always focus on your tummy while talking to you
6. Looks like it is a boy as the tummy is outwards/ Looks like it is a girl – when they did it for me I almost laughed out loud- especially those who did not know I was carrying twins- they could be right either way.
7. Touch your tummy without asking to feel the baby
8. You don’t have edema? Wait till next month, you will get it. They almost rejoiced when my feet began to swell.
9. You are not having nausea? It will come, wait and watch.
10. You must do more exercise- like sweep & mop the floor for easy delivery – (irrespective of whether the doc advised bed rest)
11. Prescribe what you must eat and what you must not to ensure getting a fair child.
12. This one tops- sit with the wife in the gynecologist’s waiting room and never vacate the seat for another pregnant woman.

Dress Me Up

3 years back when we bought our apartment, the first thing the visitors noted was the wall colours followed by the light fixtures and then the woodwork.
The bright sunflower yellow breaking the light green (jasmine wisp) and beige (sugarcane) colours of the rest of the walls were proving to be a talking point for our visitors.
I remember the pains we took in deciding the colours. The long hours spent at the Asian paints colour screen deciding the shades in various simulated lights. To tell you the truth what we picked up based on the computer turned out to be unpleasant on the walls. So finally we had to beg or buy a single can and try out on the wall directly before taking a call.
We were sure that we wanted a yellow breaking wall in our rooms. Apart from the reasons of it being a happy, cheery, welcoming colour, we choose it because it was the safest bright colour. I would love to have a red brick like effect or a crimson/ deep pink wall with a self pattern right behind the bed but hubby was strictly against such bashful bright colours. With both our Leo temperaments, we did not want too much of red adding fuel to the fire, not to forget that we chose the South east rather than south west room as the master bedroom. So yellow it was to break the monotony of jasmine wisp and sugarcane. And the jasmine wisp has a role to play in toning down the fiery nature of the yellow.
We also went overboard with the lighting. We did not want to leave even a single space unlit. Apart from the tube lights for everyday use, we added extra light points for “yellow’ lighting which gives a warm, cozy, romantic feel and also imparts a different glow to the skin. We found a nice shop at Mount Road called MS Lights which had a lot of trendy, modern fixtures and the owner was talking in marketing language- defining the concept and whether it is modern or traditional or futuristic. We selected quite odd shaped fixtures the prime method of selection being the quantum of light they were emitting rather than keeping it to themselves. Usually there are these flower shaped ones that don’t allow the light to emit into the room. All the yellow walls were given Picture lights so that when we invested in paintings, the light would highlight them well. We also selected a crazy looking chandelier.
For all our pains, the 1st year was spent in paranoia, nobody allowed to lay even a finger on the wall, no furniture should be touching the wall etc. Today all has gone for a toss. With Ojas & Tejas competing with each other on who scrapes the wall better with the mobile phone or the rackets, we cannot even dream of maintaining the walls now.
So tell me, what colours you chose for your walls and why? What is a nice colour or texture to experiment with? May be the next house or the next painting time we could think about it!

Welcome Home

The 3rd car Ojas & Tejas have purchase in the last 6 months- Innova in October, Swift in February and now The Honda City that replaces the Innova.

Both had a ball at the Honda showroom near the airport, running all over the place - they have never seen such a huge space that's why. Since we walked in on a Sunday evening, the place was empty of people. The rains and the starless sky contributed to the choice of the colour- Galaxy Grey! This and the Midnight Black Swift, together they make a good pair!

The Judgment Day

MM puts me on the jury to be judgmental. Here I spew the venom of my pet peeves
1. I judge those who do not value time- keep others waiting remorselessly, don’t care for their time and nor for other’s, exceed their presentation time limit and believe that the longer they speak, the clearer their message. Includes trolls like clients who believe that the supplier deserves to be treated like shit, doctors who walk in fashionably hours late (regularly, not one off case mind you) and then give audience to medical representatives or take long phone calls, bosses who allow phone calls to interrupt important meetings like appraisal.
2. I judge those women whose prime occupation is being a door mat. The things they love to do is cook for the family and the friends, force feed you, fill your plate with mounds of stuff that you were better off not eating while you were looking away, not allow the people to remove their plate and put in the sink but grab it from them, ask you all sorts of questions centered around food- what did you eat, what you will eat, what did your wife cook for you for breakfast, lunch & dinner, what did you eat at the party, are you hungry, the baby is hungry (say this every 1 hour or less- believe me). The end result of all this will be food served by her for you, your kid, your friends, the driver, the maid, the watchman and then packed for you to take it home. They will make your bed for you, spoil you rotten, fold your clothes, tidy your cupboard, pick up after you, spoon feed you, tie your shoe laces (yes), wash your undies, you name it and they do it for you like a genie. They never allow their kids to be self sufficient or responsible and make them a pain in the backside for their wife/ children/ room mates in the hostel.
3. I judge people you don’t value money or things bought out of money- they give it to every undeserving beggar in the street, buy the most expensive thing in the name of good taste (I call it foolishness, not to hunt for a good bargain if it is available), over order food and then waste it, tip over handsomely to appear uber generous, prevent others from driving a bargain, prepare humongous quantities of food and then pack up for every person they see (why do they tend to forget that those people are perfectly capable of cooking their own food and may not even like your style of cooking) . If you don’t respect wealth, wealth will never respect you.
4. I judge those girls who think all boys in school/ college are staring at them and trying to make a pass at them so they don’t want to go alone to the water tap or to another class or across the play ground.
5. I judge those who are uncaring for the environment in the name of convenience or forgetfulness- forget to switch of the fan/ light, convenient to take a print rather than do it on the computer.. well if it was your own paper and your own printing machine would you go so easy on paper or do hundred screen edits before taking that print?
6. I judge credit stealers- peers, bosses, friends who bring out the I word when we was more apt. 2 classmates of ours had to go for a paper presentation. After round 1 she comes and says “my paper got selected”. After round 2 she says –“we lost”.
7. I judge filthy tongued people who cannot digest their food without using swear words, dirty ones that too. I wish for them that their kids use the same words for them.
8. I judge people who chose only extremely dull colours for themselves and then judge others who are comfortable with bright colours. Look at your own tastes first before judging others tastes. Includes people who do not believe in dressing up for the occasion. Always visible in their filthy nightie or the ugliest clothes inspite of calling people home for dinner. C’mon, move it! Make an effort to look presentable.
9. I judge people who don’t read. How can they deprive themselves of the charms that the books/ magazines provide? Even if you read only the level 1 of books and are not into heavy reading, please read. Broaden your avenue.
10. I judge people who are glued to TV every waking moment. So much so that they don’t hear what’s going on.
11. I judge people who cannot multi task.
12. I judge people who spend long hours on the phone at the dining table / when guests are around.
13. I judge self appointed BBC. They want to be the 1st one to tell the news to everyone even if it does not belong to them or is not too sensational- who is pregnant, who came home, what milestone did the kid achieve (let the poor mother/ father do the honours). Included are those who published the Harry Potter spoilers. GROW UP AGAIN! WHY RACE?
14. I judge those mothers who try to be one with the crowd with their sons or daughters. They want to be present at every function, every dinner party, every gathering of friends, want to be included into every conversation, want to know every dirty secret or sordid love affair about the friends. Grow up and find your husband or friends to supply you with nasty gossip.
15. I judge uncles who try to boisterously back slap you on every occasion or even try to play holi with you or ask you why you have painted your nails. (my scorpio sis pinched one such uncle and kicked him hard when he tried playing holi with her, verbally applauded by another onlooker uncle who commented- who said you are supposed to play holi with daughters?).

16. I judge parents who don't have time to play with their kids - with books, toys, puzzles.. if you don't then who will nurture them?

17. I judge people who are sloppy about their work- if you have taken it up, do it, format it well and take the effort to make your work presentable.

18. I judge those relatives and friends who don't make the effort to stay in touch and then taunt- oh now you remembered me when I call them up.

19. I judge those who create a big fuss at any photo opportunity. You need to coax them to come for the photograph. Beauty Queens

Pant pant pant.....this is exhausting... And I also judge those who don't take up the tag-collection of stars, suki, lumi, just like that, minka, nm

Meanwhile, are my HP obsessed eyes playing tricks on me or do you also see the likeness? (Tejas is going to kill m for this)

On Why is This Important to Me

Does it really matter? All this ho hulla over getting slimmer, losing weight and looking fit? Usha did a post on it some time ago. Honestly, sometimes I too feel like giving up everything and live to eat as usual. Why am I taking all this trouble? Why am I torturing myself with diet control and so many hours of workout? Why am I denying myself of all the foods that I love so that I could lose all those extra baggage I am carrying. Sometimes it depresses me and I wonder how much time more before I can fit in my pre- maternity trousers. I have talked to fellow gymmers and they have assured me of good results. And then there is this very fat guy whom I know who says I must not do diet control but only exercise. Sometimes it is a torture to wake up in the morning, slipping away silently so as not to wake up the kids, then worry in the gym about the kids- what if they wake up and look for me?

Well so what actually motivates me?
1. when I think of the wasted number of hours in trial rooms. Me moving slowly and steadily from a size M to XL and beyond. As if it is not bad enough that the Fab India guy keeps telling you loudly enough that Madam, you are looking in the Medium section.
2. I don't want to be called the fattest among all as MM said about someone who declared that it is official she is the fattest.
3. I recall how I could run the entire length of the train without feeling out of breath and tired (treadmill experience) - and it felt good to be able to do that.
4. I love clothes of all kind and it is a pity that my saris are wasting in the cupboard as the blouses protest when I try to get into them. Chiffons and georgettes are absolute no nos with the spare tyre around the waist. Not to speak of some very good trousers and skirts.
5. When I remember the looks people give me when they see my loaded plate. (somehow it doesn't matter if thin people eat lots- nobody laughs at their plate)
6. My rings were getting too tight to wear
7. I don't want to be known as someone who has gone over the hill mentally and physically after having the kids.
8. When I think of Madhuri Dixit after 2 kids
9. I imagine that once I reach the zone of ideal weight, how nice it would be to eat an entire bar of chocolate without worrying that my weight will go out of hand. (so all boils down to being able to eat, which I was anyway doing)
10. I am tired of sucking my tummy in at every photo opportunity
11. Last but not the least, the competition hubby is giving me- getting fitter day by day, I don't want to be called the perfect 10 couple, me the zero, he the 1!
edited to add courtsey comment of whatsinaname,
12. a client when visiting our premises said- let's not do the tour of the premises, since you are expecting, you may have difficulty walking around! That bad eh!! come to think of it, it was a chimmney calling the kettle black situation still it hurt....

And people, in deference to my torn ligament happened when I thought let me do that extra 5 seconds of grapevine on the stepper, last Friday, I am not posting on weight management for 2 weeks- the entire duration that I will not be gymming- proud to inform you this is my first sports related injury that I can sport!

Waiting for Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows

Call me nuts but though I got into Harry Potter a little late in the day, I have read every single one of them multiple times. Sometimes I thank God for making me discover the series late. Otherwise the suspense would have killed me. I got to enjoy 5 books in quick succession that way. Call me silly but at times I have found myself wishing that such things really existed.
I wish Tejas & Ojas grow to like and enjoy the books eventually.
What I really like about the books and admire Rowling for, is that each element in the books are supposed to fit in like pieces of a huge jigsaw puzzle. Whether it is the so called “gleam of triumph in Dumbledore’s eyes in ‘The Goblet of Fire’” or the death of Sirius Black not being a mere tear jerker introduced to make Harry’s woes even more profound. Rowling has got logic for every incident, name and character she has used. The legends and beasts she has employed in the book are solidly backed so no wonder there is a book written on the background of the legends cleverly hidden in the Harry Potters.
Just to recall a few of my favourite episodes in the books, apart from the fight scenes-

1. Philosopher’s stone- Dumbledore dishing out points in the end to Gryffindor and the Chess scene.
2. Chamber of Secrets-Harry’s encounter with Riddle’s Memory
3. Prisoner of Azkaban- Lupin’s lessons with Harry on creating Patronus, the one in which Hermione discovers Lupin is a werewolf.
4. Goblet of Fire- Harry & Cedric decide to take the cup together- loved them playing fair game, Rita Skeeter’s secret getting out
5. Order of the Pheonix- Umbridge and McGonagall pitted together, discovery of Dumbledore’s Army.
6. Half Blood Prince- Everytime Harry uses the Potions book and Hermione’s reaction to it.
Well, right now, I wished I had paid more attention on the details and therefore could have drafted my own thesis on the whys and what next and what may happen in the next. But, I read the books more for the story than anything else. Not to try to find out gaps that would be answered in the subsequent books. Not to try and identify potential spoilers and do a lot of guesswork on what will happen next. But as each book got launched, the heat and excitement seems to catch on and I find myself wondering what happens in the next book.

Here’s my wish list for book 7 apart from Dumbledore & Sirius comeback-
1. Neville gets to use the Crucatius curse on the Death eaters that tormented his parents, his parents get cured and he gets to do something impressive
2. Dolores Umbridge gets her punishment – not death- something that she lives to remember and get tormented.
3. Snape getting redeemed- I wish Dumbledore was right about him and he is indeed my favourite villain character. Sharp witted, sharp tongued and talented.
4. Another wizard Chess equivalent from Ron. He always seems to get overshadowed in brains by Hermione and talent by Harry.
5. More of McGonagall
6. Lupin avenges Greyback
7. Do something about Draco please, he is so pompous and sure of himself.

That makes me look so sadistic right!

Go on, tell me what your favourite scenes are and your wish list for book 7.
Which character do you identify yourself with most and why?

It’s Hermione for me- always in the library, worried about homework and being proper in school, being ready with complete notes for exams.

Edited to add- I wonder what reason Rowling has to make Dumbledore mess up some things inspite of being the greatest- whether it is the way he misjudges Harry by not telling him what's going on- the order, prophesy etc, Occlumency lessons, not being around when Harry needs him the most and eventually dying!