Factual Fiction- Together we are famous

It is strange that nobody is noticing me in this place. Normally I am the object of everyone’s curiosity. There are questions directed about me and my brother. Everybody smiles at me and asks my name. Some even ask whether I am a boy or a girl or how come we brothers do not resemble each other or how do the parents tell us apart or how do they manage us (what gall!).

Oh, now I realize. I have come alone and my twin brother is back at home. Therefore nobody is noticing me.

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These series of stories called factual fiction are stories based on facts with elements of fiction added to spice it up. I have taken a lot of writer's liberties here. I have blended separate incidents and stories about different people and knitted them into single stories. The experiences may be mine or may not. Hope you guys are enjoying it. If yes, it is not evident in the comment tally!!

Hey, I live for your comments and feedback. Keep it coming... Lurkers, pls de-lurk...can you sense the desperation here!! I am sick of single digit figures in the comments section.


Soon I would be starting a series of my learnings in the gym. Hope you guys will enjoy that too.

Factual Fiction- Meeting

Extremely important not to let your guard down. To appear animated, fully interested in the proceedings, be alert for loopholes in the talk/ plan and ask intelligent questions at the opportune moment, have the data and reference material prominently in front of you to answer sticky questions, take copious notes obviously and intersperse your two-bit every now and then.

You just could not control yourself. Just when you quickly whisper a snide remark to your neighbour and are having a quick laugh about it, that the boss poses a question to you. You splutter, stutter and grope randomly for the answers in the projected screen in front or in the speaker’s face and at the right time you vaguely remember the topic on hand and give a generic reply hoping that it makes sense.

To make it worse, the smarty pants strategically seated next to the boss snorts- wake up call eh!

footnote- ironically, posting this while seated at a meeting, the screen strategically directed away from the boss's / colleague's eyes. That really elevates me in everyone's eyes na!!!

Factual Fiction- Biological Clock

The biological clock was ticking away. You could say she almost eagerly waited for it to signal.

Yes, the signal went off, on the dot. 4.00 pm as always. Time to get up and have tea and snacks.

Factual Fiction- Crossing 60

Finally I crossed 60 today. After a long wait I got to experience the carefree, exhilarating feeling of crossing 60. So that’s how life is on the fast lane! I had done 4o and that was great. Then there were other milestones like 45, 50, 55. At 59 I was waiting to get at 60.

Today, albeit for a few minutes on Raj Bhawan road, she shifted me to the 5th gear.

Celebrating,
Midnight Black Swift

Factual Fiction- Water Bottle

She passed the strict rule in her home. Nobody drinks water straight from the bottle. She hated it when people drank right out of the bottle, accidentally or intentionally brushing their lips on the rim of the bottle. It becomes jootha then, doesn’t it. "Rather than make me wash the entire bottle, I would be glad to have just the glass washed. So please use the glass."
She turned her face away and ignored as the aunt pulled drank straight from the bottle. She rather not see if she touched her lips to the bottle. She was tired of arguing and stopping people from doing this in her house.
This is the reason why she avoided drinking water in anyone’s house. Everyone seems to be drinking straight from the bottle nowadays.

She opened the refrigerator door and took out the bottle. She looked around to see if anyone happened to be watching. Quickly, before anyone came, she tipped the bottle above her open mouth and drank heartily straight, not bothering about using the glass as per her own rules.

Factual Fiction- Chivalry

Chivalry is not dead, it has changed hands.
There are times when I find myself trapped in a narrow lane with a car coming from the opposite side. Our eyes lock and there is a silent communication, each one mentally urging the other to move back. More often than not, I find myself reversing back to a clearing so that the other car can pass first. Sometimes there is an appreciative acknowledgement from the other driver. Most of the time there is none. I don’t pretend that I like being gallant all the time. There are times I wish to be treated like a damsel in distress and allowed right of way.
And that goes for times when I am lugging the heavy laptop for client calls too, along with the Account Manager. An offer to carry it for me would be welcome.

Factual Fiction- Friday

It’s Friday evening finally. Her favourite day of the week. There is the weekend to look forward to.
They study the menu hungrily and order a chicken sandwich each. ‘But it’s Friday.’ She almost said it. An inner voice said, let him have it, he feels like it. But he would have wanted to know, the inner voice began acting up. Well I always remind him but this time let him have it. His subconscious wants to eat it. It won’t hurt. “Quickly, we are in a rush”, she said to the waiter.

She cannot concentrate on what he is saying. Still debating about the Friday thing and trying to fight out the demons within. ‘Shit, It’s Friday,’ he said. He jumped up to cancel the order and call for a veg burger instead. And she could not even say, “I remembered.”

Factual Fiction- Diary of a . . .

Those filthy bodies give me the creeps. I hate it when they brush past me threatening to rub a part of themselves on me. The perfect, impeccable me. So much so, I rather stop and let them pass despite whatever rush I may be in.
That pesky, yellow and black bug-like creature, that filthy, green bully and that raucous selfish, always me-first giant. All attempting to force you off from where you are. How I despise all of them. Another breed of despicable characters is the seemingly spotless ones that could be mistaken as those of my league. But their devil-may-care attitude and reckless behavior puts me off and I take care not to rub shoulders with them too. After all they have nothing to lose, unlike me.

I repeat, I do not want any of their colours rubbed on my Swift, midnight black form.

A child hugs you only if you deserve it!

I love the feel of the babies curled up against me. Ojas likes to laze around for a while after he wakes up. So I hug him from behind while he lies down staring into space, deep in thought(?), and blinking at regular intervals, his lashes sweeping on his cheeks. I savour those few moments of cuddling he allows me to have. I bury my nose into his neck or hair and enjoy the cuddle the few moments it lasts. A little later he becomes alert and sings a few words from his self composed song- pucha pucha…and then stands up and tries to wake up his bhai.

Tejas on the other hand will never reward me with a cuddle. He will lie straight, stiffen his legs and cry. This is a signal for me to give him his feed. The reward I get by relenting is his little body curling up against me while he feeds. If I happen to lie on the bed he assumes that I want to feed him and he in turn starts either pulling at my clothes or takes up the afore mentioned position. He blissfully closes his eyes and feeds while Ojas watches apparently curious and amused. Ojas has completely forgotten that 4 months ago, he was doing exactly the same thing. He likes to put his head against my tummy and Tejas copies him too.

I feel that it is about time that he weans off. I have been on 2 overnight trips hoping that when I am back he would have weaned off. But he simply continues from where he left. Sometimes I wonder whether I am sincere enough in my attempts to wean him off. SM mentions that it was she who needed to be weaned off and not her baby/ I realize that she is right. Tejas likes to feed when he is sleepy or feeling whiny or cranky. Sometimes this is the only way we can stop him from crying. It is comfortable for me since I do not need to do the extensive butt patting to make him sleep but a few minutes of feed does the trick. Even if he wakes up in the middle of the night, this is the easiest option to comfort him. I do not want to let go of this comfort. At an emotional level, I am possessive about this exclusive experience with Tejas and it also gives me an excuse to be able to hug him.

I have already noticed a little bit of discomfort he is showing while nursing. He is much more playful about it and also attempts to change his posture while at it. Perhaps he is getting ready to wean himself off. So the mantra I am following is, don’t force the issue. Probably he is a little insecure since I am not there at home all day and this is his method of possessively curling up to me. I notice he is a little more possessive as he tries to bag a place in my lap if he notices Ojas coming near me or me picking up Ojas. (Vice versa also true but not as often).
I am going to enjoy this while it lasts and until he is read to let go completely.

But any suggestions to a quick wean off would help any case…

Why Couples Fight?

The dirtier fighter is the one who refuses to fight at all.
Ha! I do enjoy a good, full blown quarrel which lets out steam and bottled up filth. There are times when I am really spoiling for a fight. I goad hubby into arguing back with what I think as his baseless arguments. And in reward, I get to use the choicest of vocabulary, sarcasm and bring forth all complaints. Sometimes the fights get so muddled up that we forget what the issue was.

What annoys her
Lack of Appreciation- Face it; she likes to be appreciated, even if she has blended watermelon juice. And if you garnish it with “you make it better than Mom” she is your slave for life. But the problem is that the “he” species does not want to say it and get into trouble.
Lack of vocal indication of undying love- She knows it but he still must say it again. His logic, well I am living with her so isn’t it obvious?
Maid did not come- This upsets the orderly running of the household and to make things worse he seems unaffected by it. Now, that irritates.
Silent treatment- he appears to be apparently unconcerned about silent treatment or sometimes unaware that the operation is on.
The wet towel on bed and newspaper all over the place factor- yes, it is a big deal for her. It grosses her out, while he feels that instead of cribbing about it she should remove it herself. Say please, she might soften but don’t assume that if he says “why can’t you do it”, she will feel guilt ridden and do it.
Untimely Humour- She is hopping mad about something and he dares to laugh it off.
Gadget affliction-if not cricket, there is football to watch, or the conference call on mobile phone or pending work on the laptop. She wants to talk and he responds in monosyllables as his prime occupation could be any one of the 3 above.

What annoys him
1. Non-cooperation- he has suddenly decided to cook something or clean the house and wants her to cut all ingredients and give to her or help him in the cleaning. She refuses to cooperate. Her logic, cooking includes cutting, preparation & cleaning.
2. Apparent Nagging- when she asks him to do something that faintly resembles multi tasking- like buying vegetables on the way back from work, keeping an eye on the kids while watching TV or ensuring that the kid doesn’t pull down most of the items placed too close to the edge of the kitchen table while he decides to make juice for the whole family that blue moon day. He claims he is engrossed, she feels he is plain careless or unconcerned.
3. Perfectionism- She insists that the photo frame has to be placed at that particular angle or only a specific size of potatoes has to be bought or a trip has to be planned down to the smallest detail like who will carry which bag.
4. Taking a long time to get ready- He can never understand the importance of not repeating attire or wearing the right coloured hair clip or sandals.
5. Solicited advice that is never taken- Why does she ask which outfit suits her best in a shop and then buys something which he ruled out in the first place.
6. Faux Dieting- He orders coffee/ coke / dessert hinting heavily that he doesn’t want to share this time. She refuses vehemently but digs into it all the same.
7. Control Freak- She stops him from drinking, smoking, night out with guys. Her logic, it is for his good she stops him. He thinks she is exercising control. She wants him by her side rather than spend time with his friends. He feels he deserves to do his own things sometimes