Monday, June 30, 2008
Siblings exchanging clothes, entire family sharing toothpaste, soap and some even sharing their shaving kit or towels!
What happens after marriage?
Does the same continue or are boundaries drawn?
The very reason I have graduated to shower gels & liquid handwash is that I cannot tolerate sharing soaps with the characteristic single hair stuck to it! One should see me asking hubby several times whether he is the only one who uses his soap in the Pondy house, before I use his soap reluctantly, incase we stayed overnight without prior plans. Somehow I always doubt it is a shared resource so I always carry my own shower gel.
I don't fancy using the same toothpaste that has come into contact with several toothbrushes unless it's my husband's/ kids or my parents/ siblings'. For the sake of hygiene and privacy, I wouldn't want toothpaste sharing to happen at all.
Earlier we siblings used to regularly exchange clothes. But somehow couldn't imagine cozying up with husband wearing someone else's shirts!! So stopped sharing clothes after marriage.
I feel the same about everyone drinking straight from the bottle. Somehow have learnt to live with it.
I have heard about guys who shamelessly borrow the entire shaving kit! Can't even begin to imagine what I would have done had someone asked for my hubby's shaving kit.
Now tell me what's ok with you! Am I having an attitude problem if I am particular about such stuff?
Friday, June 27, 2008
- I am happy that you have a place to go and enjoy with your peer group
- A place that will unfold your talents- I am still amazed at the finger painting & comb painting that you have apparently done.
- I go all senti that I am leaving my babies in the care of unknown strangers attributing every cut & nick to -something must have happened at school
- I am getting into serious control issues- requesting the teacher to allow you to play in the swings because that is what you look forward to most
- I feel more worthy of being your mom - because now I feed you breakfast & dinner and get you ready for school each morning.
- My car feels vacant every morning and I miss those mandatory - only one round before I go for work
- Now the tables have turned - I wave you goodbye every morning- and I do it better than you because I am not screaming my heart out every time you leave for school
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Happened to notice 2 sales woman playing name place animal thing...
The letter happens to be "B"- wonder how she said B when the caller had said stop after a while, enough to recite atleast till H.
She had written the entry for "thing" as "Bites".
The other woman asks - what is Bites?
1st one- Bites! you don't know? Snacks!
(typical Tamil Slang)
Reminded me of a time when we used to play these games.
I would invariably enter Latrine under things for L & Nicker for N (not knowing it is supposed to be knickers)
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
One looks around and sees a huge crowd assembled in front of the small non-descript looking barbecue counter right next to Spencer's.
One turns away one's nose at the mere thought of even looking in the direction of such a shop even if it sells chicken and entertains such pedestrian looking crowd and does a double take.
No the crowd is not at all pedestrian in-toto. Hip, mini skirts and sleeveless top types rubbing shoulders with lungi-dharis and checked hanky types- in the eyes of the guy sitting at the counter of Daawat- all are equal- there is no ladies queue, no pedestrian vs car wallah queue, no special consideration despite the attire.
This non-descript types shop comes with a glass window and counter and the most succulent and scrumplicious looking barbecued chicken kababs hanging in the window to tempt unscruplous chicken consumers like us.
Well, taste not guaranteed as one doesn't have the courage to stand in queue alongwith veg turned hubby and jumping jack children. But aroma is guaranteed to promise the most didn't I mention orga&mic taste.
Somebody please try and motivate self to wait in the queue.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
One of the reasons being Weddings & Parties.
We never get invited to happening parties. I have realized belatedly that the concept does not exist here. A friend had once commented that if you invite someone for dinner they look at you suspiciously. I had laughed it off but now I tend to believe it's true.
I used to do dinners before the kids. But they never got reciprocated except for a few cases.
And now on weddings-
I dread them here because-
1. If you dress a bit fashionably- you look over dressed. If it is not pattu (silk)- you are considered not dressed aptly/ grandly- so either way you are the odd one out
2. You can never expect to attend a hip wedding party in a posh hotel or a spacious farmhouse- its always a kalyana mandapam.
3. The food is normally not a big attraction. More often than not I treat myself outside to satiate my taste buds.
4. The food is vegetarian
5. There is no naach gana- dancing/ light music/ merry making - my feet are itching to dance but there is no event happening
6. Lack of fun and enjoyment factor
7. There is nobody whom I know or am related to among the guests- so I can almost be sure that I will have nobody to give me company at the party.
8. Since I am here, I miss out all the happening parties that happen in / around my place.
Monday, June 23, 2008
1. 1 large bowl of vanilla icecream every morning, 1st thing when I am not usually fond of icecream
2. 1 orange- lemon ice candy (kwality walls) every time I visited food world/ beach- and I had never in my life had that ice lolly before
3. pani poori everytime we went to planet yumm
4. chutney instead of sambhar (when I actually hated coconut chutney with dosa)
5. Subway sandwich only - everytime we went to spencer mall
6. 1 or 2 egg scramble everyday when I am not usually very hot on eggs- I like them but am not addicted to them
I can't believe
1. I hunted the streets for dhokla a few days in a row and had to make do with nilgiri's dhokla which got wasted because I no longer wanted to eat them
2. I begged my hubby to get daal vada from the shop next to adyar bakery sardar patel road- and after that have been put off that shop for life.
3. I went to Sangeeta, Gandhi Nagar with great longing for dosa and I found a hair on the table and got so put off that I never went back to that shop
I can't believe
1. that I could not stand non veg for a duration of 3-4 months
2. that I was off junk food and my favourite Lays Sour cream and onion chips
3. I stopped cold coffee completely
...During the 37 weeks of my Pregnancy
Friday, June 20, 2008
A nice cheerful place though tiny, may be around 10 tables, 50 seat capacity.
We got a tiny table for two right near the window. So road view rather than sea view.
The host was a nearly 6 footer goofy guy who kept forgetting stuff like the mocktail or our doggy bag.
We spent Rs 500 for 1 garlic kulcha, 1 aaloo paratha, a bhuna gosh gravy (garlic-tomato based), a paneer rajasthani, mutton seekh kabab and a strawberry - mirinda mocktail.
Though a little on the higher side for the size and genre of the place- unlike the dhaaba express which comes across as a complte paisa vasool, I felt it was ok and the best part is that you don't pay an arm & a leg for rotis/ naans etc, unlike in most other places.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
The kids of the complex united and refused to reveal names.
Ok, I am proud of the unity but ashamed of the mischief and the mischief makers. Ashamed that they choose to stay mum rather than fess up. Is this what we are teaching our kids? Is it because the kids are beaten up if they admit to a mistake anyway- so why admit- atleast they have a 50% chance of escaping the beatings if they don't confess and are not found out.
Another older kid snatched my son's balloon and played along until my son screamed and threw a tantrum. The Mom coaxing the kid gently asked Tejas to be patient- he will give it to you himself (in his own sweet time eh?)
The same kid's younger brother snatched Tejas' tricycle and Ojas beat him up. That kid is under control now.
This balloon snatching fellow hit my sons with a stick and the sweet mother looked on. Until a neighbour pointed it out to her.
The trouble with such troublesome kids is that the gentler ones end up getting hurt for no reason and the bullies get away because their moms are unconcerned or accept such behaviour as normal or endearing.
Fine, let's play it fair. Next time my kids get hurt, I might just smack the bullies silly. The protective mother lioness in me might just get unleashed.
And their mothers may continue to look on as far as I am concerned.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
We started with this picture puzzle gifted by Mausi. Frank's Jolly Jungle Ride.
The popular 3,4,5,6 piece-series proved to be a hit with the kids. We have fruits, animals & transport. The funny thing is that each favour 2 out of 4 pieces only in each set.
And my favourite are these that hubby picked from an exhibition in Pondy - they come with a board so they are extremely convenient. They are fairly advanced, self correcting but difficult to do the first time.
This is a 19 piece Lion that Tejas does effortlessly. Funny thing is that I start with the 4 black feet pieces- calling them Lion's shoes and Tejas starts with the red mane and then does the leg pieces- orange & blue ones and then does the feet. Strange how they decide their own methods
Another is a 22 piece owl- Ojas favours this but he is not as deft and focussed as Tejas.
The rabbit, elephant and tree are less popular- they are between 6-8 piece sets and little difficult to handle because they need a little effort to piece together.
Sad thing is that Hubby didn't manage to get the shop address inspite of me prompting him several times on phone. He told it's somewhere in Muthialpet. Now everytime we cross Muthialpet I look around like mad from the car hoping to spot the shop. But failed as yet.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Ojas pre-empts- duppatta tera !
CD- duppatta tera ...
Bum Bum Bole- (TZP)
Self, Ojas & Tejas dancing to Bum Bum bole in the morning- they would have heard the song actively for the 1st time.
Afternoon Ojas comes to me Mamma- Bum bum bole
Tejas- Mamma- Bumbi Bumbi
Wonder should I enrol them in a music class? Their reserves of energy do need some channeling!
But the best reason they give is that music is inherent in us and more than the host of benefits they talk of- it's pure fun.
The waking up to music is a suggestion that should be taken, so also the suggestion of spending some time just listening to music rather than taking it a side-along activity like listening while cooking or driving. Those were the days- when pregnant me & even otherwise me used to spend the entire afternoon & evening just lounging on the sofa and listening to music.
Was watching the re run of a music program on Sony - the one that happens at 9.00 pm on Fridays. (feeling lazy to search out the exact name).
Having a singer at home is like having one big party at home everyday. Since I am not a singer myself, I would have loved to have my own personal singer at home- singing songs of my choice at the drop of a hat. There used to be such singers who will sing almost the entire day and anytime on demand. These are people who are not necessarily trained but sing for the joy and the love of singing. I love these kind of people - they exude so much energy, fun and love of life.
Shaan was singing- tera mujhse hai pehle ka naataa koi and his wife had tears in her eyes- and frankly I had tears in my eyes too for no reason- just his singing, his voice and song that touched the soul.
Monday, June 16, 2008
The look on their faces when they saw me waiting outside when they came running out of their class was truly worth the hour long wait.
On coming out, we went for a go at the swings and I asked Ojas what they did in class- he mentiond- Husha wusha fall down!
They seem to be comfortable with the layout as Tejas walked off on his own to the swings and both had a go at the see saw together- advantage with twins is that they can do the see-saw between the 2 of them!
On reaching home, Ojas broke my heart again saying- Only Mamma not going, school chale- may be thinking this is the only way he can have me by his side- going to the school!
Friday, June 13, 2008
The Pondy house has a balcony and we slept right near the door on the floor for the breeze. We could see the stars shining down on us via the door as we slept. The restless kids were told to watch the stars as they slept.
We were the lucky few who saw a flock of birds in a v formation fly overhead in the night sky and then a lone one return - retracing the path back from where (s)he came.
The outline of trees, pale moonlight and rugged silhoutte of buildings constructed a picture perfect scenery.
Reading the Clouds
On the drive to Pondy, we had a great time naming the clouds
Since we drove in the afternoon, we had the wide road to our disposal... We decided to name this a dog chasing someone- well doesn't look like it now but it sure did at that time...
And oh, we admired the blue sky and the matching bluer sea...
Driving under the Lone So Called Doggy Cloud...
Thursday, June 12, 2008
With your own child?
And then reach the peak of annoyance with him everytime he crosses the limits of annoying you?
Forgetting all anger the moment he smiles?
Both forgiving and forgetting inspite of the whack in the bum?
I wonder- how much of the smacks he would recall as he grows up?
Will the number outweigh the kisses?
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Duration- 1 hour
Teacher asked us to carry our own bags and not give them to Mamma/ Dadda- they want us to become indpendent quickly.
Mamma was allowed in and she guided us through various toys & puzzles. We did the shape sorter puzzle, pull on truck puzzle and made coffee for Mamma & one aunty.
A classmate ate up our snacks- cake & biscuits- we were not hungry. Teacher gave us half a sweet each. We were the only ones to spread out a napkin and place our tiffin box on it. It seems Mamma used to do that when she was in school too & she wants us to learn that too!
3 kids spent nearly the entire hour crying.
We did not cry, we had each other & Mamma & many toys to play with.
Dadda peeped in once and we spotted him!
We held on to our water bottles the entire hour almost- until Mom snatched it away from us.
We got our school diary and a rhyme CD.
For 1 week we will go for an hour. And then for 4 hours.
We played on the slide and roundabout and in the sand for a long time before coming back home. We insist we want to continue going in the car but Mamma & Dadda want to send us by bus.
We think we are ok with the school! We did not cry - but then even Mamma had not cried on her first day at school!
School Bags - Red & Black
Water Bottles- Black
Tiffin Boxes- Steel (Mamma says no to Plastic)
Bath Towels for Swimming Days- 1 with a tiger print & 1 with fish- we quarreled for the fish- none of us want the tiger
New Shorts/ Shirts (Uniform only for 2 days- poor Mamma is cheesed off that she has to take care to find neat clothes everyday- uniforms would have been easier on her)
All Labelled with Mamma's Golden/ Brown Nailpolish!!
We were more interested in buying toy cars from Lifestyle store but Mamma & Dadda wouldn't let us go - we had to even do a demo of wearing the bag in the store!
We go for an hour today and for 2.5 hours from next week
The school has recommended what snacks have to be given each day. Friday is Mamma's choice snack though!
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Dadda goes to the courier office to collect Js' credit card. The incharge refused to give the card to anyone other than blood relative.
During the course of the argument, the incharge asks him where he lives.
Dadda- K Colony, S apartments
Courier - Oh, S apartments? Which flat?
Courier- Oh, XYZ flat, where the twins live?
Dadda- eagerly- yes, yes
Courier- oh you are ITW (uses my surname)
Dadda- suppressing his annoyance- no, I am K
Courier- then you can take the courier, I know the twins!
Says who is famous and in which order.
Ojas' Idea of a Joke
Points at Dadda and says- This is Mamma and this is Dadda (pointing at me)
We retort- this is Ojas (pointing at Tejas) and this is Tejas (pointing at Ojas)
Ojas- No, This is Ojas (pointing at Dadda)
and This is Tejas-(pointing at Mamma)
It Takes 2...
We have 2 dogs in Pondy- Duggi & Huggy
I told Ojas to give huggy to Tejas and demonstrated how to give a hug.
Ojas did so and then points at himself and says- Ab Duggi (Now Duggi)Problem in Pronunciation
Ojas & Tejas cannot pronounce R or Sh
So they call Rahul as Zahul or Lahul and Shalini as Salini
The other day I imitated them and said Zahul
Ojas corrects me- Zahul nahin - Zaahul (trying to tell me it is R not Z but becoz of his pronunciation problem, ended up saying Z for both)
Then I said Shalni. Tejas tells me- Aise nahin- Saaalinee- giving stress on proper syllables.
Ass Li... err Eater
I was acting as if I am eating their nose, hands etc and then spitting it out and returning them bcoz they are tasting bad.
Then they ask me to eat their bum. I grab a piece and eat.
They say- Aise nahin (not like this)
Then promptly pull down their pants and say- aise (eat like this)
Tejas' believes this is a Pillow ...
in its folded and packed stage.
Touch Me Not
I am putting Ojas to sleep
Tejas- mamma, buttom - meaning Ojas legs is touching his bum
So I adjust Ojas' position.
Tejas- Mamma, ab legs (now legs)
So I again adjusted him so that he doesn't touch his legs while sleeping.
After Ojas is settled to sleep- Tejas promptly jumps on him to give him a foot - massage.
Now what was that about not allow Ojas to touch him?
Clear case of history repeating- My sis used to sit on my face when I would sleep but not allow me to touch her at all! But Scorps behave similarly.
Tejas drops a box of chalks on the floor. Guiltily looks at me and I ignore.
Quickly sets to work putting the chalks back into the box muttering all the while...
Baikuff (bevakoof- foolish), gira diya (dropped it), no tuti (don't break)...blah blah blah...
I guess that's how I would have reacted.
In Pondy- Tejas tells me- ghar chale
Turns to Grandma and tels- Vita ke polla
(Let's go home in Hindi & Tamil resp.)
Wonder how they realize who speaks what language
Ojas is talking to Mausi on the phone and Mausi arrives at his doorstep while he is talking
Ojas looks into the phone and then at Mausi and says thoughtfully- 2 Mausi
Monday, June 09, 2008
I discovered our school community, discovered that a friend is now a mother of 1. I immediately asked her to get in touch with me using our code language for each other's name. She mailed back saying that she had mailed me the birth announcement at my old office id. So you see, Orkut has its benefits.
I discovered who had got married, who did not (lucky gals!), who is getting divorced, who has become a mom and who is trying to conceive, and who is blogging (albeit irregularly). I re-lived my school days. It was a bitter-sweet feeling- knowing about their lives and all. I wanted to reach out, scrap them or search them out.
But then again, I was unsure of how far I could continue. Would I be able to really carry the friendship further. Would they have changed. Will they be pleased about getting in touch with me and will they want to pick up the phone and talk to me from time to time or will I be the only one calling them up whenever I feel like doing it.
The close circle of friends- I am in sporadic touch with them via mails & phone. We normally pick up from where we began- like I did with this one.
But can I really bare my heart to any of them- No! Can I tell them about my blog? No - atleast not for the moment- I am not ready to become an open book to them yet.
Some in my family & extended family read my blog - that is fine.
Some friends also read and that is also fine. But the communication is 2-way.
Not like sharing my world & myself with everyone out there about whom I do not even know.
Well, that must be an understatement -yet I am not sure whether i want to reconcile my blog persona with my persona of school days and today's persona yet.
Somehow I am more comfortable sharing all details of my life with an unknown audience rather than a known one. Anonimity breeds security?
I discovered a lurker sometime ago via my stat counter. We zeroed down the webpage to the person because he has named it with his real name. We confirmed after he added his photo on his page. Now my fight is that you are reading me, you know me personally, I never invited you so doesn't propriety demand that you mark your presence by leaving behind a comment? Or just go on reading everyday getting all vicarious pleasure knowing whatever is happening in my life. Well, it is pretty much there for everyone to read but if one knows me and discovers me, I would expect a buzz.
My blog is a medium to reach out, to therapy, to record, to share, to connect- most of these which lack in real life. Most strangers will read & form impressions of the persona and will perhaps treat each blog post as episodes. Whereas someone who already know me will get a bigger & complete picture of my life as it is today. I may use my blogger's license to distort or exaggerate just to add a story value. A known guy will take it as real. That is what gives me a discomfort. They will try to unnecessary reconstruct what is happening in my real life basis my blog life. That's my rant.
Now should I go private and send passwords? Will people want to login everytime they want to read me? Will my ego suffer when I see no takers for a password protected blog?
Saturday, June 07, 2008
Friday, June 06, 2008
What was supposed to be for the parents only ended up as a mish mash of audience comprising grandparents & kids of all age/ size causing a general problem of accomodating the audience.
The kids being kids with low attention spans were either quarreling among themselves or crying or blissfully sleeping or locking horns with the not so amused me- pushing her chair into my already bruised knee repeatedly, or resting his shoes on my spotless clothes- funny how my patience level was at an all time low just because I had left my kids at home and was therefore in a good position to judge other kids & their parents.
Well, for parents only should not be taken at the face value. The whole purpose is lost if you have to struggle with your / others kid when you obviously want to know what methods the teachers employ, what curriculum is followed, why, what alternatives are offered.
The orators were the school management staff. Some of them skilled but some were just reading from a prepared speech and really failed to connect with the audience. Yours truly switched off and focussed on the one-upmanship with the child in front.
Thursday, June 05, 2008
Taking up JLT's open tag obligingly- to talk of 10 things that I hate about Men.
I love this line- All men are the same. They have different faces so that we can tell them apart better.
1. Their believe that when the woman does the cooking/ housework- she is doing her job. When the man does it- he is doing her a favour.
2. When we women plan something with friends - we do it in such a way that it does not clash with our family time. With men they have to do it when they should be with family- late nights, weekends, holidays etc because then it does not clash with work
3. All men want their wifes to be like their mothers- but they do not want to be like our fathers.
4. Their irrational/ misguided belief in their own kin and not the wife.
5. Their complete inability and unwillingness to support and stand for their wife in times of some specific great need when if the wife opens her mouth in defence- it will be seen as disrespect. And their ability to convert anything that is strictly about the husband and wife into an open family matter- but not vice versa.
7. Dropping in / Inviting a friend without checking with the wife and inviting the friend to dinner too.
8. Selective amnesia- about bill due dates- some not all.
9. Doing something for the kid only under duress and then making a big exhibition of it and recording it as the biggest job of the day done to help the wife.
10. Expecting the wife to adapt totally to his culture - not otherwise even partially.
11. Their ability to act like the king of the jungle in front of their family- when she wants to feel cherished and loved and an equal- but like a nice cloying and clingy husband in front of the wife's family- when it is most undesirable and one requires her space with her side of the family.
12. Their ability to garner support from all quarters - both their and wife's side during a quarrel with wife.
13. Their insensitivity while getting exactly the same or better sari/ household item/ gift/ jewel/ cosmetic (thankfully not undergarments/ negligee) for their mother and their wife for fear of hurting their mother's feelings.
14. If they have to choose between their family and wife or friend and wife or dog and wife or office and wife- the choice is always- you guesses it right- not the wife.
15. Their ability to take their entire family for any function- which should have been strictly attended by the couple only.
Some GRAS (Generally Regarded as Silly) Issues that become Family Problems on the Men's side-
Let's say one lady does not eat non-veg- will she start eating just because the husband loves non-veg? So why should the DIL in the family stop eating non-veg on particular days just because the husband does that!
Or let's say in one culture it is considered to be rude to cross legs and sit. How will the wife know about it without being told?
If the wife does not want to change her name after the marriage- it becomes a family problem.
If the couple wants to plan a baby- why it has to become a family news? More so all the tests that the wife has to undergo is made public knowledge- but not if men also have to go through it.
Not wearing mangalsutra/ signs of marriage becomes a family issue even if the husband is ok with it
Going on a holiday especially to meet wife's side of the family is a sensation- the dates need to be aggreable by the panchayat
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
- First time in my life I am seeing hubby engrossed in a book- he takes it to the loo (and that is something because he cannot read anywhere forget loo), takes it to bed and reads it by mobile light so as not to disturb the kids
- Better than TV- atleast hubby is now not glued to the TV
- Grudging admiration for the star from those uninitiated to Rajni fandom like yours truly
- Did I already mention - it is kind of nice to see hubby engrossed in a book- for a change?
- Affordable gift item for Rajni fans (courtsey AD)
My next endevour is to get him inducted to my favourite authors- Sherlock is a start & Archer should follow.. Small doses should do the trick.
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
Monday, June 02, 2008
Even though I may need to prolong it by adding more details, talking slowly, showing commercials or products or provoking the audience by bringing out multiple dimensions to any particular slide.
I do it because I want to give it back in the same coin to all those who do not bother about how boring their talk can become for some of us in the audience. To all those who once get a chance to be on stage, keep talking our ears off with unnecessary data inspite of the given format of the presentation. To all those who cause a meeting to prolong well into the night because they do not know how to keep time.